In Which Case, Perhaps He'll Opt for the Self-Stimulus Package.

Obama condom vendor: Obama condoms! A health care plan we can all afford!
Gloomy college kid: Not me…
Obama condom vendor: Obama condoms! A health care plan we can all afford unless you don't have sex, like this guy!

–Union Square

Posted on February 13, 2010
Comebacks, Condoms, Health and Hygiene, President, Sex, Students, Union Square and East Village, Vendors & Street Performers

Um, Hello, I Tan Regularly!

Rich girl: So yeah, we just got back from the club.
Black guy: Oh, yeah?
Rich girl's friend: Um, excuse me…
Black guy: Excuse me! I'm talking to her, not you. You're the ugly one, remember?
(phone rings) Yo. Hey, man. Oh, nothin'. Just talking to a couple white hos.
Rich girl's friend: What?
Rich girl: Stop bein' such an ugly white ho, Danielle.

–LIRR

Overheard by: Just another white ho.

Posted on February 13, 2010
Beauty, Black People, Comebacks, Friends, Nicknames & name calling, Race, Rich people, Trains Not Subway

Bait Like This Calls for a Bigger Fish

Comedy club guy: Are you ready to be dazzled by comedy?
Cute girl: Do I look like a fucking tourist to you?
Comedy club guy: Well, are you ready for a boyfriend then?
Cute girl: Maybe if you looked better.

–42nd St & Broadway

Posted on February 7, 2010
Beauty, Comebacks, Girls, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Offers and requests, Physical appearance, Theater & Dance, Tourism, Vendors & Street Performers

Gin and Sour Defeat

Guy in car to cop: Can you help me out with directions?
Cop: Yeah, sure. Where are you going?
Guy in car: Staten Island.
Cop: Yeah, you smell like you're going to Staten Island.

–Shea Stadium Parking Lot

Overheard by: BigVinnyVito

Posted on February 6, 2010
Comebacks, Cops, Directions, Guys, Scents of the City, Sensory Experiences, Shea Stadium

New Yorkers Are Notorious for Bungee Compliments

Woman: That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me!
Man: I take it back.

–26th St & Park Ave

Overheard by: Rose Fox

Posted on February 4, 2010
Comebacks, Compare/Contrast, Compliments, Men, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Women, Words

You Sound Exactly Like Your Mother.

Dad: If you don't behave you're going to get a spanking. Are you going to behave?
Little girl: (no response)
Dad: If you don't behave, you're going to get a spanking. Are you going to behave?
Little girl: (no response)
Dad: Well, if you decide to act like this again, then we aren't taking you to Hawaii.
Little girl: That's fine… I don't want to go to Hawaii. I hate traveling with you.

–JFK Airport

Overheard by: Jbak

Posted on January 28, 2010
Airports, Comebacks, Dads, Family Ties, Gripes, JFK Airport, Kids, Parents, Threats, Travel, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

…Where the Dead Look Is in Style.

Guy to girl with short skirt in freezing cold: Girl, you gonna catch your death.
Girl with short skirt: I'm in LA, bitch!

–Carmine & Bedford

Overheard by: MikeRoss

Posted on January 25, 2010
Advice, Brooklyn, Comebacks, Death, Girls, Guys, Insults, Weather

…Even by New York Standards.

ASPCA volunteer: Hey, you have a moment for animals?
Busy man: Yeah… at lunch.
Onlooker: Ice cold!

–Union Square

Posted on January 23, 2010
Activists, Ahhh! Real New Yorkers, Animals & Nature, Comebacks, Food, Only in New York, Strangers, Union Square and East Village

…Minus Five Years and Twenty Pounds.

Hobo to lady: Hey, can I have a dollar?
Lady to hobo: Why? You already have a bottle of liquor, what else you need?
Hobo to lady: A fine pretty thing like you.

–Lower East Side

Overheard by: I love NYC

Posted on January 9, 2010
Comebacks, Compliments, Drinking & Drunk People, Hobos, Lower East Side, Panhandling, Questions, Women

Comebacks