Thug #1: Oh, shit! It’s the po-po! Let’s get outta here, man! Come on, let’s go!
Thug #2: Yo, chill, we ain’t done nothing wrong!
Thug #1: Yeah, you’re right, dog… just a reaction.
–21st & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: SUSAN
Thug #1: Oh, shit! It’s the po-po! Let’s get outta here, man! Come on, let’s go!
Thug #2: Yo, chill, we ain’t done nothing wrong!
Thug #1: Yeah, you’re right, dog… just a reaction.
–21st & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: SUSAN
Woman in leggings: What the fuck is this shit? You gonna hand me three motherfucking sugar packets? Do you have any idea how big this coffee is?
Cashier: We don’t put sugar in your coffee. Sugar packets are on the counter.
Woman in leggings: Listen, my boyfriend’s a cop. And he owns, like, three Dunkin’ Donuts franchises. What do you mean you won’t put sugar in my fuckin’ coffee? I want to speak to the manager.
Manager: Excuse me, but I heard you. There are sugar packets on the counter. Take as many as you like.
Woman in leggings: You guys are total assholes.
–Dunkin’ Donuts, 96th & Broadway
Overheard by: ProcrastYNate
Guy on cell: …I’m fine, really. It was not a good time to come to London, though. The police are all running around looking worried. I should be back in New York in a few days.
–Duane Reade, Broadway & 84th
Overheard by: kenny
Gay man: You know how when the cops come to arrest some guy in the middle of the night, there's always some screaming woman in bed with him?
Girl: Yeah?
Gay man: I was that woman!
–Butler Library, Columbia University
Columbia student: And I might get a job at Scotland Yard.
Friend: I don't know what that is. I just moved here a few months ago.
–Uptown 1 Train
Schoolboy in uniform, passing two cops: Run, Alisha! It’s the po-po! Run!
Schoolgirl: What?
Schoolboy: We’re black! Run!
–14th & 8th station
Overheard by: warrfree
Guido #1: So the fuckin’ Chink cop hands me the ticket, and I say, ‘Fuck you, ya fuckin’ Chink-ass cocksucker. Take this ticket and shove it up your Chink ass, you lo mein-suckin’, General Tso-fuckin’, slanty-eyed fuck.’
Guido #2: You said that to him?!
Guido #1: Yeah, after he drove away.
–Kings Plaza Diner, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Big Larry
Tourist girl to friend: Oh my god, people are totally going to know we’re from Boston when they hear our accents!
Guy sweeping cigarette butts: No, people are going to know you’re from Boston when they hear you freak out and call the bomb squad over one of our electronic ads.
–49th & 9th
Overheard by: guy who dropped a couple of the cigarette butts
Conductor: I get paid whether this train moves or not. We can sit here all day, or if you want to go somewhere, stand clear of the doors.
–B train
Overheard by: Captain Obvious
Conductor: If you are carrying a knapsack or large bag, please consider being searched by the police.
–LIRR
Overheard by: Kelly Wittman
Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, please do not contribute to panhandlers. Panhandling on the subway is illegal, and is also against the law.
–R train
Conductor: …we are told the delay is indefinite…for future reference “indefinite” does not mean the train won’t leave at all. So all those people that just got off the train and went upstairs to wait, are still waiting! And you’re on your way!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Ziggy Stardust
Woman: Excuse me, sir, where can I get a taxi around here?
Traffic officer: Just stand on the corner and wave your hand.
–Canal St. & Broadway
Overheard by: Becka Dash
