Little girl: What's a credit card?
Father: That, you don't need to know.
–Wachovia ATM, Broadway & 10th St
Little girl: What's a credit card?
Father: That, you don't need to know.
–Wachovia ATM, Broadway & 10th St
Ghetto dad to little boy wearing knight's helmet: I don't know who the fuck's son you are, but I love you.
Little boy, muffled through helmet: I luf you do!
–3rd Ave & 9th St
Father to son: Son, I love you, fuckface!
Son to father: I love you too.
–37th & 4th
Overheard by: Jonas Puer
Adorable four-year-old girl, singing: Daddy! Youuuuu/ you make me flyyy!
Doting father: Awwwwwww!
Adorable four-year-old girl: I farted.
–6th Ave & 12th St
Overheard by: Jessica
British tourist to misbehaving child: Do you want a smacked bottom now or the other thing when we get home?
–Central Park
Overheard by: birdw0rks
Mom to kid playing on shopping cart: You'd better stop that, or you're going to fall and crack your head, and I'm going to laugh, cuz I told you so.
–Grocery Store
Father to four-year-old son: Watch out, these people are trying to kill us.
–36th St & 5th Ave
Overheard by: benny
Guy to son who is hesitant about seat in theater: If I had been this choosy with your mom, you wouldn't be here!
–Park Slope, Brooklyn
Mother to daughter: I don't want to hear about your hunger pangs right now. Now turn around and look at the sea lions.
–Central Park Zoo
Overheard by: kathcom
Tot, slapping storybook shut: No! The end!
Father: Leee-o.
Tot: Pleeease no!
–F Train
Overheard by: Deborah Smith
Eldest son, Coming from church in Sunday best: So, dad, does Star Wars take place in the past or the future?
Dad: The past.
(pause)
Son: Wait… that doesn't make any sense!
Dad: “Long ago, in a galaxy far, far away…”
–Bedford Ave
Overheard by: NIckET
Kid: Daddy, I want a big car.
Dad: If you want a big car, you have to get a good job.
Kid: I want to be an artist like you.
Dad: Well, I went to college for art and now I don't have a lot of money and I don't have a car.
–2 Train
Overheard by: Child-Averse Art Hater
Mother to two-year old son: Zachary, I am not continuing this discussion with you all day long! If you don't like what's in your mouth, just spit it out!
–Dunkin' Donuts
Nerdy Jewish Barnard girl on cell: I can just imagine it in my mouth, the taste of it.
–116th St & Broadway
Overheard by: Sully
Young boy running with soaked t-shirt: I need to be squirted! Somebody has to squirt me!
–89th St
Father to young daughter: Want me to squirt it in your mouth?
–Astoria
Overheard by: Mark
Foxy Fox news producer to another: I know you wanted something hard, so I slipped you Shively!
–Starbucks
4-year-old boy to father waiting in line to buy ice cream cone: I used to like chocolate, but not so much anymore. (pauses to consider) Now I think it's disgusting.
Father, shocked: That's pretty strong language!
–Bittersweet Cafe, DeKalb Ave
Overheard by: Hilariter
