Student #1: Yo, who cares about the surrender at Yorktown?
Student #2: Actually, that's mad important.
Student #1: Oh, really?
Teacher: Well, if the British hadn't surrendered we'd all (in a British accent) talk like this and sound ridiculous.
Student #1: Um, no, if that had happened I'd probably be in Pakistan, in my village, farming.
Student #2: You'd be dead because the British had control of Pakistan too.
Student #1: And you'd be working a factory in China!
–Stuyvesant High School
Suit lugging huge rolling suitcase to hobo taking up two seats on train: Pardon me.
Hobo (sliding over, looking at huge suitcase): What do you have there, a dog or something?
Suit (with deadpan look on his face, stroking suitcase fondly): I used to. (sighs)
(hobo slowly inches away)
–L Train
Overheard by: Cai
Man #1: My sister just had a miscarriage.
Man #2: Oh no, that’s awful!…Well, it could have been worse; it could have been a stillbirth.
–42nd & 8th
Earnest sidewalk pollster: Sir? Have you got a minute to talk about the sanitation department? Do you think it's normal?
–51st St & Lexington
Overheard by: jake-e
Conductor, bending down before fainted man: C'mon! Dude! What did I tell you before? Get up and sit down and pass out in the seat like regular normal people. People think you're dead. Get up.
–Uptown 6 Train
Overheard by: I guess not a normal person
Girl, during History of Islam class: Miracles show us what's normal and what's, like, super above normal.
–Hunter College
Woman, bending down to adjust child: You have to walk normally now–like a normal person.
–Museum of Natural History
Nerd guy to friend: It wouldn't be child labor. You just hook them up to electrodes, connect them to the the power grid, and have them play on the playground like normal!
–Shuttle to Times Square
Fordham girl #1: Is your miniature poodle white?
Fordham guy #2: No, she’s dead. But yeah, she was white.
–60th & Columbus
Posh woman #1: Oh, do you remember our friend’s brother? The one who committed suicide?
Posh woman #2: Yeah…
Posh woman #1: Well, turns out he didn’t kill himself — he had a sex change.
–17th & 3rd
Crazy woman: I’m still alive and breathing, thank you very much, despite the best efforts of the Devil.
–Food Court, Grand Central
Overheard by: Rich Mintz
Girl: Did you hear about that guy who died from fucking horses?
Guy: No…
Girl: Yeah, I guess he made it to the hospital but he had been like, split apart by horse cock.
–C train
Overheard by: Ilona Williamson
Girl: If they all died, he wouldn't have any problems.
Guy: Not everyone, just my grandmother.
–9th St & 2nd Ave
Man: It’s Al Hirschfeld, a famous artist.
Woman: Oh yeah. You don’t see a lot of his work anymore.
Man: Yeah, ’cause he’s dead.
–63rd & Madison
Overheard by: Christy Ann Coppola
