Portly man: So what are you trying to tell me?
Skinny blond teen: He choked to death on a live hampster!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Not how I wanna go
Portly man: So what are you trying to tell me?
Skinny blond teen: He choked to death on a live hampster!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Not how I wanna go
NYU guy #1: Dude, when you die, can I have your Argyle?
NYU guy #2: What, you mean this?
NYU guy #1: Yeah. I mean, I just really like Argyle and I can't seem to find any good sweaters these days. So, like…could I have it?
NYU guy #2: Dude, sure!
NYU guy #1: But don't like try to die just to give it to me. I can wait a while. I think if you just put in your will something like, “and I bequeath my awesome Argyll to my friend” that should do it.
–8th St & Univerisity Place
Overheard by: Argyll Lover
Old Jewish woman #1: Amy Winehouse…she sounds like a nice Jewish girl.
Old Jewish woman #2: I don't think she's going to live very long.
–Rock & Roll Hall of Fame Annex
Overheard by: Rachel
Pretty young woman #1: It was an accident…
Pretty young woman #2, yelling: You threw a fucking television at me, while I was crying over my dead chinchilla! I was grieving! How could you?
–Ghandi Resteraunt, 1st Ave
Overheard by: Danielle Lenore
Disgruntled MTA worker, to no one in particular: See? I don't like human beings all that much. I like animals, they mo' fo' real. (venomously) Y'all better be glad I'm not god.
–6 Train
30-something white guy to friends: I live in Mesopotamia, 'cause the gods are gangsta!
–W 83rd & Columbus Ave
Older MTA worker, comforting young passenger: GPS: Guidance, patience, strength. Give it over to god. Trust that motherfucker is going to handle it. Give me GPS and I can handle the rest!
–Union Square Subway Stop
Bag lady, drenched in rain: The joke's on you, god!
–9th St & University Place
20-something guy on phone: So then she tells me the reason my dad died is because god was trying to hurt me!
–Union Square
Overheard by: talker's remorse
30-something: I mean…he's a good looking guy, but then he found god.
–39th St
Crotchety old Jewish lady, passing Palm Sunday parade: Easter is for amateurs.
–W 72nd St & Broadway
Overheard by: Naomi Choy Smith
Little old lady looking down steep basement stairway: Wow…I wouldn't want to be drunk going down those stairs!
–Broome & Essex
Old guy: I'm going out for a smoke. If you see someone take this jacket, shoot to kill.
–Starbucks
Old man with beard, hunched over walker, watching couple holding hands: You two been doin' the nasty, ain't ya?
–27th & Broadway
Old black lady in wheelchair: I mean, what was he gonna do with a dead body?
–Bowery
Overheard by: Lauren
Very old man to another, in thick New York accent: Ya gotta take it…and put it on ya rectum like this. (demonstrates with hand gesture)
–53rd St & 10th Ave
Elderly gentleman to another: From now on, you will obey me!
–Carnegie Hall
Irritated: And what exactly am I supposed to do with a dead rat?
Medicated: (shrugs)
–53th & 8th
Seven-year-old boy: Will I meet my goldfish in heaven someday?
Mother: I don't know anything about what happens to goldfish when they die, but I can tell you that there is no god.
–Bleecker & MacDougal
Reverend: God was too big to die. So he lives, and so it's an empty cross.
Child: (asks unheard question)
Reverend: Well, you could use them against vampires too.
–First Presbyterian Church, 5th Ave
Girl, looking at strawberry marshmallows: We could play chubby bunny with those.
Guy #1: Huh?
Girl: That's where you count how many marshmallows you shove in your mouth before you can't talk anymore.
Guy #2: People have died doing that.
Girl: Yeah, but probably only the dumb ones.
–8th Ave
Overheard by: IQ Test is Shoving Them in Your Mouth Anyway
