A Disturbingly Common Theme

Woman: When I got into college I entered into a world of sausage.
Man: Uh…
Woman: Come on!

–D Train

Overheard by: pop pop

Posted on February 6, 2015
Default, Education, Innuendo, Junk Food & Fast Food, Men, On the Subway, Sexuality, Women, Words

Dude, Summer School Was Never Cool

Student taking exam: Mr. F, sir, I really don’t understand this.
Mr. F: See your ass in summer school, nigga!
Student taking exam: I’m sorry, what?
Mr. F: So, that’s not cool anymore?

–High school

Posted on February 4, 2015
Education, Insults, Questions, School, School and studying, Students, Stupidity, Talking/Convos, Teachers/Professors

Oh, Honey, It’s So Not What You Think

Artsy hipster girl: Oh my god, I haven’t seen you in so long!
Woman: What’s new?
Artsy hipster girl: I’m going to circus school in two weeks!

–L train

Posted on February 3, 2015
Education, Hipsters, On the Subway

The Tank Was Pretty Much Empty at That Point

Girl, after writing essay: You know how she asked us to write what we thought?
Boy: Yeah.
Girl: I put down that I needed to blow my nose.

–NYU

Posted on February 1, 2015
Boys, Default, Education, Excretions, Girls, NYU, Offers and requests, Questions, Students

So It’s Not “Punani”?

Girl #1: What’s the plural of “panini”?
Girl #2: It’s just “panini” … Like goose.

–28th & 2nd

Posted on January 29, 2015
Compare/Contrast, Default, Education, Girls, Languages, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Questions, Street, Stupidity, Words

I Just Can’t Master the Teeth Clench and Air of Dissipation

Latina #1: So, this professor went to Yale and shit and he, like, expects us to be Yale material.
Latina #2: I know, I be hatin’ that.

–Locker room, Hunter College

Overheard by: embarrassed to go here

Posted on January 25, 2015
Education, Gripes, Hunter, Latinos

Of Course, Mom! And They’re Excellent Places to Have Sex

Local: Where you do want to go today, Mom?
Tourist mom: I don’t know. A museum?
Local: We always go to a museum when you visit. Let’s try a new one this time. We haven’t been to the Guggenheim. The Museum of Sex is interesting.
Tourist mom: Museum of what? Museum of Sex? They have that here?! Please tell me you don’t go there. Do you go to church these days? Hmmm? Do they have churches in this city?!

–Union Square Park

Posted on January 24, 2015
Advice, Ahhh! Real New Yorkers, Education, Moms, Parents, Parks, Religion, Talking/Convos, Tourism, Tourists

Another Graduate of the Ike Turner Correspondence Course in Salesmanship

Tour guide trying to attract tourists: Hello! Great bus ride for tourists, only $30!
Girl: I'm not a tourist, I'm a student at Fordham.
Tour guide: Fordham's in England, you dumb bitch.

–Times Square

Posted on January 19, 2015
Compare/Contrast, Default, Education, Girls, Global Geography, Offers and requests, Students, Stupidity, Times Square, Tourism, Vendors & Street Performers

NYers on the Issues: Hunks

Chick: I love his mole. It’s like Matt Damon…he has a mole.

–Starbucks, W. 4th St.

Chick: I think it’s sexy that he went to art school.

Her two friends start laughing immediately.

–Jane, Soho

Overheard by: Tamika J.

Posted on January 16, 2015
About Celebrities, Arts & Letters, Beauty, Compare/Contrast, Education, Movies, Sex & Relationships, Wednesday One-Liners, Wednesday One-Liners Vary

What Happened to You, Alex P. Keaton?

Banker guy: I hope you have bail money.
Bouncer guy: Fuck you.
Manager guy: What’s the problem here?
Banker guy: He shoved me.
Manager guy: I don’t know anything about that, but you didn’t bring ID.
Banker guy: I have my Dartmouth ID and my Goldman Sachs ID.

–outside Brass Monkey, Little West 12th Street

Overheard by: pb dot c

Posted on January 16, 2015
Age/Aging, Assholes, Bars & Clubs, Bouncers, Crime and Punishment, Education, Favorites, Manhattan, People, Places, Students, Suits, The Village, Topics, Venues, Violence

Education