Little boy #1: Your pants are so tight, your balls have asthma.
Little boy #2: But that’s my joke…
–12th between A & B
Little boy #1: Your pants are so tight, your balls have asthma.
Little boy #2: But that’s my joke…
–12th between A & B
Dude on cell: She was a size 16 before the baby, but now she’s a 32. She went from Kermit the Frog to Snuffleupagus!…What size are you?
–Staten Island Ferry
Guy to three cute girls: You’re the best looking gay guys I’ve seen all day!
–Christopher & Bedford
Chick to dude: You could wear a dress if you wanted to.
–Broadway
Abercrombie tot: Wait, you can’t carry a boy dog in a purse. That’s unnatural!
–Penn Station
Tween girl to friends: No, she’s a boy now and she looks gay.
–Staten Island Ferry
Overheard by: R
Cute brunette: Who am I, forcing your lovers into a male-female dichotomy? I am terrible!
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Wild Dog Boy
Guy: …Newborn babies are pretty small, yo.
Girl: Not small enough to fit in your pocket!
Guy: What if you were wearing cargo pants?
–A train
Overheard by: rachel
Girl: Edible what?
Guy: Edible panties!
Girl: Hooray!
–45th & 5th
Lady: So I do everything my friends do. She starting dating a Turkish guy, so so did I.
–Hookah Bar, Ave B & 6th St
Overheard by: HookahFanatic
Teenage girl to another: His name was "ingles," but he didn't know a single word of ingles. That's ironical.
–Bryant Park
Overheard by: Karishma Gurtu
Father to two young sons: There were 1.5 million Manhattan Indians, so only the Dutch could tell you what happened to them.
–Outside the Federal Reserve
20-something girl to friend: I think I must be French. It takes me like, five hours to finish a sandwich.
–Broadway & 39th St
Woman: At least the earrings weren't as expensive as a Chinese daughter.
–116th St & 8th
Overheard by: Matt & Stacy
Woman: I saw this cute change purse in the store; it was made entirely of zippers. Isn’t that a great idea?
Man: Oh wow…Could you open it?
–Q train
Old lady: Hey, you know what time it is? You got a face so pretty, I swear I’ll have to cut you if you don’t tell me what time it is.
Guy: Five thirty.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Romanoff
Jappy highschool queen bee to Starbucks guy wearing earrings: Are those real diamonds?
Twentysomething African-American Starbucks guy: No.
Jappy highschool queen bee: Awwww I’ll mail you some real ones for your Bar Mitzvah, okay?
–Stabrucks, 78th & Lex
JAP #1: Oh my god! I have such a crush on this guy, except he's not cute, at all.
JAP #2: So, you like his personality then?
JAP #1: No.
JAP #2: Oh.
JAP #1: He just has a really great fashion sense.
–Cosi, E 8th St
