Wednesday One-Liners, Dry-Clean Only

Suit on cell: And three girls we know will be there. They're all hideous. But at least they're girls.

–28th & 5th

Overheard by: Heinz

Man in suit: The building is surrounded by outside. Right before you go in and when you come out, you are outside!

–Downtown A Train

Overheard by: The Green Cat

Suit whining on cell: Aw, come on! I wanna be on top this time!

–Flushing

Overheard by: Zee

Suit: The only time I wore socks last year was during my swearing in.

–Maiden & William

Suit: You know, we should probably just send a company-wide email in the morning: "hey guys, we're fucked."

–Wall St

Overheard by: Tamcakes

Posted on December 2, 2014
All Wednesday One-Liners, Beauty, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Crime and Punishment, Fashion, Gender issues, Internet, Jobs & Careers, Offers and requests, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Physical appearance, Queens, Science, Sex, Sexuality, Street, Stupidity, Suits, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

Nigga, Please!

White guy #1: What’s she look like?
White guy #2: She’s really hot, she’s black.
White guy #1: You mean African-American.
White guy #2: No, I don’t.
White guy #1: But you said she’s black.
White guy #2: Right, she’s Sicilian. She’s neither African nor American.
White guy #1: Well, her family must have come from Africa at some point.
White guy #2: Yeah, like 1000 years ago.
White guy #1: Ok, then she’s African.

–39th & 3rd

Posted on November 30, 2014
Fashion, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Multiculturalism, Overheard Style, Sex & Relationships, White People

Really? Is My Face Red!

White chick to black chick: That’s a cute bag. It would be, if it were real.
Black chick: Bitch, it ain’t fake, it’s stolen!

–14th & 8th

Posted on November 24, 2014
Black People, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Compliments, Crime and Punishment, Fashion, Knock-Offs, Manhattan, Multiculturalism, Overheard Style, Thievery, White People

America’s Next Top Cripple

Man: Miss! You are so beautiful! Your eyes! Your hair! Are you interested in modeling?
Chick: Uh–
Man: I love the way you walk. Imagine! Down a runway!
Chick: It’s because my heel is broken, you fuckhead.

–59th & Lexington

Overheard by: Passerby

Posted on November 22, 2014
Anger Management, Fashion, Manhattan, Pick-up Lines, Upper East Side

Wednesday One-Liners Are My Anti-Drug

Hot black girl: Where did summer go? Now we're all back to wearing glasses and snorting Adderall… or taking it with water.

–24th St & 3rd Ave

Guy to friend: If I just gave up speed I'd totally be getting more ass.

–Bleecker & LaGuardia

Overheard by: Jack

Guy to another: Yeah, so you take a gram of coke, then mix it with a ground-up Xanax, then mash up an E. Then you put it all into pill form, and down it with a Sparks!

–N Train

Architecture professor: Everything in moderation… except for heroin. Heroin, you go for the gusto.

–Pratt Institute

Overheard by: Denali

Posted on November 22, 2014
All Wednesday One-Liners, Ass, Backdoor, Black People, Cocaine, College, Compare/Contrast, Drinks, Drugs, Fashion, Friends, Girls, Guys, Heroin, Medicine, Murray Hill and Gramercy, On the Subway, One-liners, Questions, Students, Teachers/Professors, The Village, Time, Weirdness

The Fragrance is Called Impending

Woman: Do you like the perfume I’m wearing?
Man: It smells like a sanitary napkin…Before it’s used, of course.

–Grand Central

Overheard by: Christina Rusnak

Posted on November 21, 2014
Fashion, Health and Hygiene, People, Trains Not Subway

Soon to Be a McD-Cup

Thirtysomething mom on cell: That boy of your is too fat. [Pause] Well, you keep feeding him hamburgers. That’s why he has titties. He’s an A-cup.

–M15 bus

Posted on November 21, 2014
Body Parts, Fashion, Food, Health and Hygiene, Manhattan, On Cell, On the Bus, Parents

Ah, Story Of My Life!

20 something girl #1: So you ditched his ass.
20 something girl #2: Yeah, well, I told him that I would not date a 36-year-old who comes to work wearing bubblegum pink sneakers riding a long board.

–Downtown E Train

Overheard by: Smoltzy

Posted on November 21, 2014
Colors, Dating, Fashion, Girls, Physical appearance, Trains Not Subway

Your Jokes Are So Lame, FDR is Jealous

Little boy #1: Your pants are so tight, your balls have asthma.
Little boy #2: But that’s my joke…

–12th between A & B

Posted on November 8, 2014
Body Parts, Fashion, Manhattan, Should've Used a Condom, Stupidity, Union Square and East Village

Fashion