Woman #1: But not all Asian girls are pretty.
Woman #2: Oh I know, but he just thinks that, on a scale of 1-10, Asian girls start off with like a +10.
Woman #1: Oh, well that’s good, because most white guys just see that they’re Asian and don’t consider whether they’re really pretty or not.
–78th & Lexington
Teen girl #1: Cashmere is God’s gift to the human race!
Teen girl #2: Well, the part of the human race that can afford it.
–Macy’s, West 34th Street
Girl on cell: So yeah, I was like, ‘That is a great costume,’ and then it set her hair on fire and I was like, ‘That’s gross.’
–CVS, 42nd & 3rd
Crazy hobo: That’s right! Arrest me! I’ll burn half y’all houses down… And set the other half on fire!
–Brooklyn-bound Q train
Overheard by: Incitatus
Pseudo-intellectual: She called me and told me there was a bonfire in her ovaries.
–MacDougal Street Ale House
Overheard by: Ladle
Creepster: Come here… You don’t wanna know what I’m on right now. If you come home with me, I will light you on fire.
–Columbus Ave
Concerned NYU girl to boyfriend about California wildfires: Do you think Cher’s house burned?!
–Water St dorm, NYU
Overheard by: michael
Girl: She is so fucking dirty. I swear, whenever she touches her hair she has to wash her hands.
Guy: Or make fried chicken.
–52nd & 10th
Hipster: I’ve been meaning to talk to you about your new look. It’s rather… um… guido.
Guido: Yeah, I know. But the pussy, dude — the pussy, you wouldn’t believe.
Hipster: It better be good, because your eyebrows are waxed. And you’re a man.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: guido hater
Hispanic girl on cell: I don’t care what shoes you’re wearing, you’re still Puerto Rican!
–92nd & Broadway
Woman: When a girl tells a guy she likes his shoes, that means she wants to fuck him.
–Delancey St.
Professor: I don’t know why everyone’s in drag today. There are just some days like that.
Queer student: Oh, honey. That’s Saturday at my house.
–NYU Silver Center
Old man: I like those boots.
Woman: Thank you.
Old man: But not the pants. They don’t work for me.
Woman: No? Sorry about that.
Old man: Yeah, I don’t like the dungarees. It’d look nice if you had a nice blue, deep purple pant suit.
Woman: Oh, you think so?
Old man: Yeah! You like my suit? Yeah, you do. I make it myself. You have to wear colors. I make all my own clothes, because I don’t like machines. No alcoholing, no smoking, no loving. I don’t like machines, I only like people.
–A train
Overheard by: Fashionista
Drunk guy: Why should I invite you up to my apartment?
Drunk girl: Because I’m beautiful ASSHOLE!
–80th & 2nd
