Teen girl #1: Cashmere is God’s gift to the human race!
Teen girl #2: Well, the part of the human race that can afford it.
–Macy’s, West 34th Street
Teen girl #1: Cashmere is God’s gift to the human race!
Teen girl #2: Well, the part of the human race that can afford it.
–Macy’s, West 34th Street
Girl on cell: So yeah, I was like, ‘That is a great costume,’ and then it set her hair on fire and I was like, ‘That’s gross.’
–CVS, 42nd & 3rd
Crazy hobo: That’s right! Arrest me! I’ll burn half y’all houses down… And set the other half on fire!
–Brooklyn-bound Q train
Overheard by: Incitatus
Pseudo-intellectual: She called me and told me there was a bonfire in her ovaries.
–MacDougal Street Ale House
Overheard by: Ladle
Creepster: Come here… You don’t wanna know what I’m on right now. If you come home with me, I will light you on fire.
–Columbus Ave
Concerned NYU girl to boyfriend about California wildfires: Do you think Cher’s house burned?!
–Water St dorm, NYU
Overheard by: michael
Girl: She is so fucking dirty. I swear, whenever she touches her hair she has to wash her hands.
Guy: Or make fried chicken.
–52nd & 10th
Hipster: I’ve been meaning to talk to you about your new look. It’s rather… um… guido.
Guido: Yeah, I know. But the pussy, dude — the pussy, you wouldn’t believe.
Hipster: It better be good, because your eyebrows are waxed. And you’re a man.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: guido hater
Hispanic girl on cell: I don’t care what shoes you’re wearing, you’re still Puerto Rican!
–92nd & Broadway
Woman: When a girl tells a guy she likes his shoes, that means she wants to fuck him.
–Delancey St.
Professor: I don’t know why everyone’s in drag today. There are just some days like that.
Queer student: Oh, honey. That’s Saturday at my house.
–NYU Silver Center
Old man: I like those boots.
Woman: Thank you.
Old man: But not the pants. They don’t work for me.
Woman: No? Sorry about that.
Old man: Yeah, I don’t like the dungarees. It’d look nice if you had a nice blue, deep purple pant suit.
Woman: Oh, you think so?
Old man: Yeah! You like my suit? Yeah, you do. I make it myself. You have to wear colors. I make all my own clothes, because I don’t like machines. No alcoholing, no smoking, no loving. I don’t like machines, I only like people.
–A train
Overheard by: Fashionista
Drunk guy: Why should I invite you up to my apartment?
Drunk girl: Because I’m beautiful ASSHOLE!
–80th & 2nd
Suit on cell: And three girls we know will be there. They're all hideous. But at least they're girls.
–28th & 5th
Overheard by: Heinz
Man in suit: The building is surrounded by outside. Right before you go in and when you come out, you are outside!
–Downtown A Train
Overheard by: The Green Cat
Suit whining on cell: Aw, come on! I wanna be on top this time!
–Flushing
Overheard by: Zee
Suit: The only time I wore socks last year was during my swearing in.
–Maiden & William
Suit: You know, we should probably just send a company-wide email in the morning: "hey guys, we're fucked."
–Wall St
Overheard by: Tamcakes
