Fashion

British bitch on cell: I’m surrounded by fucking morons who probably struggled through the NYC school system. We all know New Yorkers are the dumbest. They can’t even read. They haven’t had a Latin education and they probably can’t even speak another language…I didn’t want to get a limo to take to the fuckin’ ghettos of Brooklyn. I didn’t want to take a cab because these uneducated people don’t understand directions. I didn’t want to spend $30 and not get to the right place…Please make sure my car gets fixed. I’ve been reduced to the humiliation of taking public transportation. Now the second part of my fucking nightmare begins. I have to take the subway! I’m dressed like a commoner. I didn’t want to wear a $5000 Chanel suit on a seat that hasn’t been cleaned…She’s letting us borrow her castle for our wedding. If they can’t afford to be there, they obviously don’t deserve to come.

–Staten Island Ferry

Overheard by: Christine

Boy: You know what, I don’t know anyone who has such good taste in fashion as me, and I’m only twelve!
Mom: Honey, stop saying those things. People will think you’re arrogant.
Girl: It’s only arrogance if you’re wrong.

–McDonald’s, Times Square

Girl #1: … So, do you have a thing for him?
Girl #2: No. I mean he’s cute, but he’s overweight and doesn’t dress that well.
Girl #1: That never stops me!

–1 Train

Overheard by: p9

Asian chick: So, like, what do people at your school wear?
Parsons guy: It varies. Some people dress like they’re homeless, and some dress really trendy, and there’s one girl that dresses like a gnome. You know, a fairy or something.

–Fung Wah bus

Trendy big black woman #1: Girl, did you see that woman?
Trendy big black woman #2: Hell yeah.
Trendy big black woman #1: Looks like she got dressed without instructions!

–McDonald’s, 34th & 5th

Overheard by: Joey Madison

Old woman: Did you happen to notice if the dancers were wearing nail polish?
Teen girl: No. I'm sorry, I didn't.
Old woman: I imagine an art form such as this stifles the dancers' individual expression. I know some days I feel watermelon pink… and no one can stop me!

–Front Row, NYC Ballet, Lincoln Center

Overheard by: Gina Sophia

Chick: I have to run in here and get more ChapStick.
Guy: You just bought chapstick yesterday.
Chick: My dog steals them and eats them.
Guy: That must be why his lips are so soft.

–Columbus between 89th & 90th

Slavic guy to metro friend getting manicure: Hey, pay for mine too.
Metro friend: You want to get one?
Slavic guy, laughing and walking out: No!

–Fashion Nails, 13th & Ave A

Overheard by: erkala

Six-year-old daughter, looking at jewelry with her father: Daddy, do you wear jewelry?
Father: No.
Daughter: Mommy wears jewelry.
Father: Well, I'm not mommy. Unless you see a crucifix behind my head.

–Macy's

Girl #1: Anarchists are so dumb.
Girl #2: Yeah, totally.
Girl #1: I mean, just ’cause you hate the government doesn’t mean you have to dress badly.

–Williamsburg

Overheard by: Liser