Guy: Why are you wearing tuxedo pants?
Jon Stewart: I want to raise my baby formally. It’s black tie in the
house.
—Daily Show studios, 51st & 11th
Overheard by: Jess McGins
Guy: Why are you wearing tuxedo pants?
Jon Stewart: I want to raise my baby formally. It’s black tie in the
house.
—Daily Show studios, 51st & 11th
Overheard by: Jess McGins
White teenage boy to black teenage boy: She thinks I am a rapist or something.
(black teenage boy giggles) Which I am cool with, you know what I mean?
–Bay Ridge Ave & 4th Ave
Brunette Guido girl: Ohmigosh, you would love this girl, she's like, the only cool blonde person. This one time she was just like "Dude, can we just do the peace-and-love thing? Cause, I don't know how to fight."
–LIRR
Overheard by: whaaasgood
Fashion intern: I had swine flu last year, before it was cool.
–Cafeteria, Hearst Tower
Overheard by: interns are our future
Bike rider on phone, walking with girlfriend: I don't have his number, but you can call Tom* and go down there. Those guys are pretty cool. You can just go down there and give them a prostate massage.
–Riverside Park
Middle-aged woman #1: Well… They make very good friends.
Middle-aged woman #2: And fashion advisors!
–Ladies Room, Theater
Overheard by: Hannah
Woman #1: Oh, the hell I had to go through with that fucker for this Tiffany!
Woman #2: I know.
–E 41st St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: penetrode
Rich girl: I went to Forever21 and bought a dress. Then I stole some sunglasses and other accessories along with it, cause you know, times are rough.
–Metro-North Rail
Run-down-looking middle-aged guy: I got my phone stolen. Uh-huh. No, it wasn't even a trick, it was a friend!
–Home Depot, 23rd St
Overheard by: STC
Very loud child at display of cars to mother in line: It's okay, mom! You don't need to buy one for me. I can just take one and run out. Maybe even two, easy!
–Rite Aid, Brooklyn
Overheard by: oneofmanymikes
Shopping lady to friend: It's okay to steal but it's not okay to be gay.
–94th & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: venniblue
Girl on phone: So you actually caught him stealing from you? (pause) Okay. (pause) Well, you didn't want that anyway. So you're still going to fuck him, right?
–Broadway & 21st St
Art magazine-type girl #1: I guess some guy was touching her ass.
Art magazine-type girl #2: What? I can’t believe it. I’ve been riding the 4 and the 5 for like, six years, and no one ever touches my ass.
Art magazine-type girl #1: Really? I don’t know. Maybe when it gets warmer you should wear a sarong. I definitely get felt up more when I wear a sarong.
Art magazine-type girl #2: OK, I will.
–Park Ave. South & 21st
Girlfriend: But why did he buy two Mexican wrestling masks?
Boyfriend: I mean, probably to wear during sex.
Girlfriend: Ew, really?
Boyfriend: Well, yeah. Or to wear while beating off.
Girlfriend: Ew. Like, while looking in the mirror?
Boyfriend: No.
–6th St & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: aclare
Super thin model/actress on cell: Urrgghhh!!! Jonathan left me again [pause] I can’t believe it. [pause] For being too anorexic! Yeah, I thought being anorexic would be hot but apparently I’m now too anorexic.
–Union Square
Overheard by: benji
Loud girl #1: I want an iPod.
Loud girl #2: I think iPods are completely overrated; iPods, Uggs, and nose rings…
Man: Girls, you’re forgetting space tourism, you fucking idiots.
–G train
Girl #1: I’m funny.
Girl #2: No you’re not.
Girl #1: Yes I am. Everyone says I’m hilarious.
Girl #2: Of course they do. That’s because you aren’t pretty.
–Virgin, Union Square
Overheard by: djlindee
