Wednesday One-Liners Prefer to Think Of It As “Long-Term Borrowing”

Rich girl: I went to Forever21 and bought a dress. Then I stole some sunglasses and other accessories along with it, cause you know, times are rough.

–Metro-North Rail

Run-down-looking middle-aged guy: I got my phone stolen. Uh-huh. No, it wasn't even a trick, it was a friend!

–Home Depot, 23rd St

Overheard by: STC

Very loud child at display of cars to mother in line: It's okay, mom! You don't need to buy one for me. I can just take one and run out. Maybe even two, easy!

–Rite Aid, Brooklyn

Overheard by: oneofmanymikes

Shopping lady to friend: It's okay to steal but it's not okay to be gay.

–94th & 3rd Ave

Overheard by: venniblue

Girl on phone: So you actually caught him stealing from you? (pause) Okay. (pause) Well, you didn't want that anyway. So you're still going to fuck him, right?

–Broadway & 21st St

Posted on March 7, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Brooklyn, Cell Phone, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Clothing, Compare/Contrast, Fashion, Friends, Friendship, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Kids, Men, Moms, On Cell, One-liners, Parents, Questions, Rich people, Sex, Shopping, Store, Street, Stupidity, Thievery, Trains Not Subway, Upper East Side, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Women

A PVC Corset Works, Too

Art magazine-type girl #1: I guess some guy was touching her ass.
Art magazine-type girl #2: What? I can’t believe it. I’ve been riding the 4 and the 5 for like, six years, and no one ever touches my ass.
Art magazine-type girl #1: Really? I don’t know. Maybe when it gets warmer you should wear a sarong. I definitely get felt up more when I wear a sarong.
Art magazine-type girl #2: OK, I will.

–Park Ave. South & 21st

Posted on February 27, 2015
Fashion, Manhattan, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Relationships

He Uses Hillary Clinton Masks for That

Girlfriend: But why did he buy two Mexican wrestling masks?
Boyfriend: I mean, probably to wear during sex.
Girlfriend: Ew, really?
Boyfriend: Well, yeah. Or to wear while beating off.
Girlfriend: Ew. Like, while looking in the mirror?
Boyfriend: No.

–6th St & 2nd Ave

Overheard by: aclare

Posted on February 27, 2015
Boyfriends, Default, Fashion, Girlfriends, Kink, Masturbation, Questions, Sex, Union Square and East Village

Guys Are So Hard to Please

Super thin model/actress on cell: Urrgghhh!!! Jonathan left me again [pause] I can’t believe it. [pause] For being too anorexic! Yeah, I thought being anorexic would be hot but apparently I’m now too anorexic.

–Union Square

Overheard by: benji

Posted on February 25, 2015
Fashion, Health and Hygiene, Manhattan, On Cell, Relationships, Union Square and East Village

He Didn’t Get His Million Dollars’ Worth

Loud girl #1: I want an iPod.
Loud girl #2: I think iPods are completely overrated; iPods, Uggs, and nose rings…
Man: Girls, you’re forgetting space tourism, you fucking idiots.

–G train

Posted on February 19, 2015
Assholes, Fashion, iPod, On the Subway

She Sounds Very Pretty Herself

Girl #1: I’m funny.
Girl #2: No you’re not.
Girl #1: Yes I am. Everyone says I’m hilarious.
Girl #2: Of course they do. That’s because you aren’t pretty.

–Virgin, Union Square

Overheard by: djlindee

Posted on February 18, 2015
Fashion, Friendship, Manhattan, Relationships, Union Square and East Village

It's Funny Because They Aren't Gay

Jacked Guido #1: We goin tanning tonight?
Jacked Guido #2: I gotta get my eyebrows done first. (looks into a compact)

–Bowling Green

Overheard by: Victor J D.

Posted on February 17, 2015
Fashion, Guidos, Parks, Physical appearance, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport

Wednesday One-liners Eat Churro

Woman on cell: Yeah, I have to go. I’m too distracted on the phone, and I don’t trust anyone in this terminal. People are speaking Spanish behind me, if you know what I mean.

–LaGuardia

Posted on February 15, 2015
At the Airport, Brooklyn, Fashion, Language Barrier, Manhattan, Mexicans, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Multiculturalism, Overheard Style, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Only in New York, Retail Therapy, Stupidity, Teens, The Bronx, The Village, Tourists, White People

Congrats, You’re Not Even as Classy as the SI Ferry

British bitch on cell: I’m surrounded by fucking morons who probably struggled through the NYC school system. We all know New Yorkers are the dumbest. They can’t even read. They haven’t had a Latin education and they probably can’t even speak another language…I didn’t want to get a limo to take to the fuckin’ ghettos of Brooklyn. I didn’t want to take a cab because these uneducated people don’t understand directions. I didn’t want to spend $30 and not get to the right place…Please make sure my car gets fixed. I’ve been reduced to the humiliation of taking public transportation. Now the second part of my fucking nightmare begins. I have to take the subway! I’m dressed like a commoner. I didn’t want to wear a $5000 Chanel suit on a seat that hasn’t been cleaned…She’s letting us borrow her castle for our wedding. If they can’t afford to be there, they obviously don’t deserve to come.

–Staten Island Ferry

Overheard by: Christine

Posted on February 11, 2015
Anger Management, Biotechs, Brooklyn, Directions, Education, Fashion, Foreigners, History & Geography, Money & Class, NYC Geography, Old People, People, Places, Staten Island Ferry, Subway stations, platforms, etc., Topics, Venues

Or Straight

Boy: You know what, I don’t know anyone who has such good taste in fashion as me, and I’m only twelve!
Mom: Honey, stop saying those things. People will think you’re arrogant.
Girl: It’s only arrogance if you’re wrong.

–McDonald’s, Times Square

Posted on February 1, 2015
Age/Aging, Brothers, Compare/Contrast, Default, Fashion, Kids, Moms, Offers and requests, Parents, Restaurants & Cafes, Sisters, Times Square, Tweens

Fashion