Towelie: I Am So Wednesday One-Linered Right Now

Wide-eyed woman on cell: Is it the drugs that are doing this to me?

–St Mark's & Ave A

Guy going superfast on a bike with eyes closed and feet on handlebars: Oh, man, I'm trippin'! Oh, god, I'm shroomin'!

–Delancey St

Professor: Take that Ritalin-Scotch-heroin cocktail… With a pop-tart!

–Pratt Institute

Overheard by: Denali

Flyer guy: Anyone want to help support my drug habit?

–Times Square

Girl with group of friends: You can be a responsible drug addict… I had two jobs and went to college.

–Jane & 4th St

Overheard by: M Tod

Barnard girl: So my grandparents gave me one of those Visa gift card things for $50 for Valentine's Day… What the fuck am I going to spend $50 on, if it's not drugs?

–The Diana Center, Barnard College

Stephen Colbert, after flubbing a line during filming: I'm high. (audience laughs) Don't blog that!

–Colbert Report Studios, 54th St

Overheard by: Allison

Posted on July 21, 2010
Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Alphabet City, B-List, College, Columbia (& Barnard), Drinking & Drunk People, Drugs, Education, Family Ties, Flyer people, Food, Friends, Girls, Guys, Heroin, Insults, Jobs & Careers, Laughter, Lower East Side, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Money & Class, Offers and requests, On Cell, One-liners, Panhandling, Questions, School and studying, Sensory Experiences, Sorority Girls, Street, Teachers/Professors, Times Square, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, West Village, Women

She's Always Talking About Her Labor

Man with double-wide stroller: Everybody wants a muffin… Everybody wants a muffin, but nobody wants to work for it.
Kid: But mama does…

–Bookstore, Columbia University

Overheard by: Pat

Posted on July 17, 2010
Columbia (& Barnard), Columbia University, Dads, Food, Kids, Parents, Store, Wishes & desires

“Bigger Breasts for Everyone!” Fared Poorly During Test Marketing

Tourist #1: Do you know what Edamame means?
Tourist #2: No!
Tourist #1: It's just a made-up fancy word for “soy bean” so people would buy it.

–Duade Reade

Overheard by: Sara

Posted on July 16, 2010
Duane Reade, Food, Tourists, Words

And They're Donating It to General Motors

Guy checking out cereal: Oh, is this the one that saves the environment? (reads box) Only 1% of their profits is donated? They're not trying hard enough. (puts box down)

–Key Foods, 4th & Ave A

Overheard by: meghan

Posted on July 9, 2010
Alphabet City, Animals & Nature, Food, Grocery Stores, Guys, Money & Class

The Way Vampires Hate Garlic

Handsome straight guy: I don't know. Gay boys really like me. I don't know how to repel them.
Girl: You can throw candy at them.
Handsome straight guy: Huh?
Girl: Gay boys hate fatty foods.

–St Mark's Place

Overheard by: Ilikecandy

Posted on July 8, 2010
Advice, Diet/Weight, Food, Gays and Lesbians, Gender issues, Girls, Guys, Lower East Side

Not Even These?

Boy #1 leaving pride parade: Where are we gonna go now? I want to get some pasta.
Boy #2, incredulous: You can't have carbs on Gay Pride Day!

–18th & 8th

Posted on July 6, 2010
Boys, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Diet/Weight, Food, Gays and Lesbians, Parades & Festitivites, Wishes & desires

Um, He Was Explaining the Specials.

Apple executive, about owner: The way I see it, you plop down 14 dollars to listen to Kenny talk for an hour.
Fire department regular, paying check: I'd pay 24 dollars for Kenny to shut the fuck up while I'm trying to eat.

–Lower East Side

Overheard by: mhopkins

Posted on June 25, 2010
Clerks, Firemen, Food, Insults, Lower East Side, Money & Class, Suits

…Like Professional Athletes or the Cast Of The Hills

Father: Look at that! They list the number of calories that the food has. Ha! Who needs to know that, anyway?
Daughter, ten seconds later: Some people!

–Citifield Stadium

Overheard by: astoria mets fan