Guy checking out cereal: Oh, is this the one that saves the environment? (reads box) Only 1% of their profits is donated? They're not trying hard enough. (puts box down)
–Key Foods, 4th & Ave A
Overheard by: meghan
Guy checking out cereal: Oh, is this the one that saves the environment? (reads box) Only 1% of their profits is donated? They're not trying hard enough. (puts box down)
–Key Foods, 4th & Ave A
Overheard by: meghan
Handsome straight guy: I don't know. Gay boys really like me. I don't know how to repel them.
Girl: You can throw candy at them.
Handsome straight guy: Huh?
Girl: Gay boys hate fatty foods.
–St Mark's Place
Overheard by: Ilikecandy
Boy #1 leaving pride parade: Where are we gonna go now? I want to get some pasta.
Boy #2, incredulous: You can't have carbs on Gay Pride Day!
–18th & 8th
Apple executive, about owner: The way I see it, you plop down 14 dollars to listen to Kenny talk for an hour.
Fire department regular, paying check: I'd pay 24 dollars for Kenny to shut the fuck up while I'm trying to eat.
–Lower East Side
Overheard by: mhopkins
Father: Look at that! They list the number of calories that the food has. Ha! Who needs to know that, anyway?
Daughter, ten seconds later: Some people!
–Citifield Stadium
Overheard by: astoria mets fan
Suit #1: The problem is that when I masturbate I get hungry, and when I eat I masturbate.
Suit #2: Vicious cycle of pleasure, man!
–181St & Broadway
Overheard by: FourthCubix
Girl: Oh, lets go to Prada!
Guy: I hate Prada! Prada means not eating for a month!
–Outside Prada Store, SoHo
Guy, jockeying for position on overcrowded train: Well, I guess I owe you dinner now.
Girl: That's it?.
–F Train
Elderly lady to coughing woman sitting across the room: Do you have something in your throat? Cuz I could slap it out for you.
–Doctor's Waiting Room
Old lady to pharmacy tech: Yeah, I always have an ice cream cone when I see the truck. It's such a nice treat. (pauses) Plus, you never know–this could be my last one.
–Jackson Heights
Overheard by: Queens Newsbunny
Very old frail-looking woman leaving crowded train: Goddamned people and their fucking backpacks!
–6 Train
Old man on cell: Hello? (pause) I'm at the crack shack. (pause) Well, you look like a raccoon. (pause) This is the first I've been outside all year!
–Madison Square Park
Old Jewish woman, in Russian: My grandchildren are total fucks.
–Coney Island
Funny-looking guy with crazy goatee & glasses to the sales assistant by the table full of butt plugs: I'm friendly with this woman… She likes things in her ass.
–Babeland, Lower East Side
Overheard by: Lara
Girl: It felt so good. He then stuck his finger up my ass. Just as I was about to say "No! No!" I came. Ugh, I swear my life is a joke… A joke!
–Murray St & Greenwich
Overheard by: James
Guy talking way too loudly on cell: Man, I just lay her down and say, "baby, you put yo' tongue in daddy's ass!
–W 3rd & MacDougal
Overheard by: Mathieu
Guy on cell: Cus he'd already been to the emergency room, 'cus he stuck a shampoo bottle up his ass.
–L Train
Thug to girl in catsuit costume walking by: Man, I'd eat yesterday's breakfast out of that ass!
–42nd & 7th
Overheard by: Ed
