Chick: Is that woman pregnant and drinking a beer? Oh wait, that’s just her gut. Probably from all the beer!
–Yankee Stadium
Chick: Is that woman pregnant and drinking a beer? Oh wait, that’s just her gut. Probably from all the beer!
–Yankee Stadium
Girl #1, holding grande Starbucks cup: Oh my god! This is a small, I asked the guy for a medium.
Girl #2: Oh my god, are you serious?
Girl #1: Yeah.
Girl #2: Oh my god, your hair looks so nice today!
–B1 Bus
Overheard by: Robert
Girl on cell with dog in her bag: So I was just like "You're a friggin douche!" (pauses and looks in bag) Fuck! My asshole dog just shit in my bag! (takes dog out) Oh my god! It shit in my lap! It's everywhere! Help me, Dana!
–D Train
Overheard by: Hahahahaaaaa
Passerby to young woman tying up about 10 dogs, singing: Who let the dogs out? Who?
–E 90th St
Six-year-old girl to mother: And then I said, "Oh, Shihtzu!"
–Houston & Orchard
Overheard by: j
Man on cell: I mean, I don't want to compare her to a dog. But, I just don't want to pet that, if you know what I mean.
–E 4th St & Lafayette
Overheard by: amanda
Large scruffy man in deli apron, watching hot Latina: Woof! (pause) Sorry baby, it's just the dog in me. Woof!
–2nd Ave & 94th St
Fat man to female friend: I don't know that dogs are delicious. Rather, I know that pork is.
–Broadway & Chambers St
Overheard by: Carolyn S
Girl, pointing at Dachshunds: Look, Chihuahuas!
–Winter Gardens
Blond, after strenuous workout: God, I look like I just fucked the football team.
Blond friend: Guys like that look.
–Chelsea Piers
Overheard by: MtZ
Teen girl #1: You know, besides Manhattan, Brooklyn is the coolest borough.
Teen girl #2: Obviously. Queens is boring, the Bronx is scary, and Staten Island is a myth.
–Brooklyn Bridge
Mom to small children: Well, we all have parts. And these parts talk to our bodies and tell us we are a boy or a girl. And sometimes these parts get confused.
–Washington Square East
20-something girl to male friend: You're a dirty girl! You're a dirty girl! You're a dirty girl!
–N Train
Overheard by: TR
Mother to gender-transitioning son, questioning plans for surgery: Are you a boy trapped in a girl's body? I'm getting a face lift, and it's because I'm a young person trapped in an old person's body.
–39th & 9th
Man in yellow and green track suit and aviator sunglasses: Nah, I can't go. That's when I'm having my breast reduction.
–Columbus Circle
Overheard by: Ems
Teenage boy: I don't wanna be on that block, son! I know too many trannies on that block!
–Bedford & Grove
Overheard by: How many is too many?
Guy on cell, leaving message: Hello, Dave. This is your mother.
–Tisch School of the Arts
Overheard by: Bruce Lee
Teen boy: Fear me, I have vaginitis!
–Staten Island Ferry
Overheard by: Jingles
Chick #1: You know what? Good sex just hides everything that is bad in a relationship.
Chick #2, high fiving #1: Oooh, amen, girl. Amen!
–Q train
NYU girl #1 (singing): “Jingle bells/Jingle bells…”
NYU girl #2: Would you stop singing Christmas music, you're Jewish! Sing “Dreidel, dreidel”!
NYU girl #1: Ewwww.. No, I hate that stupid Jew song!
–Q Train
Tourist girl #1: What’s with all the Jewish people here? Is it a Jewish holiday or something?
Tourist girl #2: Maybe it’s a Mormon thing.
–Ground Zero
Drunk jock: She left cuz she said she was hungry. Well, I'll put that fuckin' falafel on my dick!
–LaGuardia & W 4th
Overheard by: Not drunk
College guy to no one in particular: She was trying to suck my dick! …so I slapped her with it!
–Port Authority
Overheard by: Kate V.
Woman to man: See, I don't have a dick, I have a pussy, but I told him to suck my dick.
–South Park Slope
Drunk guy outside subway entrance: Racism can go suck a dick! I don't care who you are, if you're racist, I. Will. Fight. You.
–Central Park Entrance
Overheard by: HAIR-y
Woman to another: I never had to dress up my vagina to get a dick. An old man would have had me pinned against a wall in a second.
–Century 21 Store
Girl on cell: Yeah, well, you know what his defense was? (pause) Yeah, he tried to tell the judge he couldn't have done it because his dick was too huge. (pause) I know! And it gets better! He wanted to make a plaster of Paris mold of his dick to prove it was too big! (pause) Oh, I'm serious. (pause) Yeah, no…I don't know what he was going to do with the mold of his dick. Maybe he was gonna submit it as Exhibit A or something, and shove it up in her to prove his point.
–Penn Station
