Girl, on Russian spies: Like, what were they doing anyway?
Guy, seriously: I don't know. Spying and stuff.
–E Train
Overheard by: Mary D
Girl, on Russian spies: Like, what were they doing anyway?
Guy, seriously: I don't know. Spying and stuff.
–E Train
Overheard by: Mary D
Crazy guy: Look at you people. All y’all paying eighteen, nineteen hundred dollars rent. I pay two dollars rent! And I get a free transfer!
–Uptown A Train
Overheard by: Heather
Smoking girl: I’m just not going to put all of this money and time into this degree and then take a job that pays less than $100,000 after I graduate. I mean, I’m just *not*.
–Outside Fayerweather Hall, Columbia University
Overheard by: Ladle
Bored street fundraiser for the homeless: Just one penny, people. Just one penny. Blah, blah, blah.
–Union Square Park
Overheard by: Farley
Crazy guy: You motherfucking actors with all your fucking money and shit… I hate you… But boy did I want to be an actor when I was young.
–Outside NBC Studios, 49th & 6th
Overheard by: Ross
Frustrated booth operator, yelling at an argumentative tourist: Lady, this subway hasn’t used tokens in over seven years! And that ain’t even a token… It’s a one collar coin!
–Subway, Spring & Lafayette
Overheard by: NYC Tourists Never Cease to Amaze Me
50-something ticket collector to high school girl: Don’t worry, I didn’t forget your change. (pause) I will never forget you. (walks away)
–Metro-North Train
Mother to young daughter running down the street: Get over here before I make change outta that five dollar ass!
–168 & Broadway
Coat check girl: Last night Michael came in my eye and it was all puffy and red.
Stripper: Why did he do that?
Coat check: He said he didn’t mean it. Usually he goes for my nostrils or my ear. We couldn’t go out for dinner for two hours until it died down.
Stripper: Wow.
–Strip Club
Overheard by: rory
Girl on date: If nothing else, I have morals!
Guy on date: You have dumbness.
–Local, 53rd & 2nd
Tween boy #1: Where is he? He owes me fucking ten dollars.
Tween boy #2: This is really gay.
Random girl: I’m offended, you retards!
–W 34th St
Mom: Yeah, he said trannies really aren’t his thing, so I guess we’ll have to ask someone else.
Daughter: Wait, what?
Mom: You know, transmissions. Why, what did you think?
Daughter: Ummm…
–JFK
Overheard by: trooshieb
Rich girl #1: It was so ANNOYING! I mean, boom, eighty bucks!
Rich girl #2: I hate losing money! Where were you?
Rich girl #1: Shopping.
Rich girl #2: I hate when that happens.
–Starbucks, 59th & Columbus
Lady suit: Do you think anyone would notice if I just popped a squat and urinated everywhere?
–Port Authority
12-year-old girl: And then… He, like… peed in my mouth. It was kinda gross.
–Eddie’s Sweet Shop
Overheard by: Yorick
Man peeing on the street: Watch the stream, watch the stream!
–W 4th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Maya G.
Black guy to coworker: What about that golden shower I had the other night?
–NYU Weinstein Dining Hall
Middle-aged convention female attendee: I didn’t know that urinals flushed. Did you know urinals flushed? Who would have thought?
–Javits Convention Center
Overheard by: Hector
Drunk man to embarrassed friend: Did I tell you about the time I peed on a bum? For real, I did! I was just taking a leak and looked down like: "Oh shit, is that a person?" He looked up on me and said: "Hey, you just peed on me!" And I did! I peed on him! Then I put myself in his shoes like: "What if someone peed on me?" I’d be pissed! That’s some fucked up shit, man. So I gave him ten bucks.
–A Train
Teenage Guy: Hahaha, I just put my sac on your arm!
Teenage Girl: What the fuck do you think gives you the right to do that?
Teenage Guy: Well, we’re dating, aren’t we?
–Central Park
Overheard by: Snow White
NYU girl #1: They’re like, ‘Whoa, totally awesome party!’
NYU girl #2: Who says that?
NYU girl #1: I don’t know. I don’t go to parties. I guess that’s what they’d say…
–Hayden Residence Hall, Washington Square West
