Early-20’s girl #1: Well, how’s the sex?
Early-20’s girl #2: [Mumbling.]Early-20’s girl #1: Hmmm, but oral sex? Is he good at that? I hear guys are very bad at giving oral sex.
–Häagen-Dazs, Park Slope
Early-20’s girl #1: Well, how’s the sex?
Early-20’s girl #2: [Mumbling.]Early-20’s girl #1: Hmmm, but oral sex? Is he good at that? I hear guys are very bad at giving oral sex.
–Häagen-Dazs, Park Slope
Girl #1: Oh, I like your sweater!
Girl #2: Oh, thanks, my mom gave it to me. You know it's funny, she gave it to me a few months ago because she said New York winters are cold and I have nothing that's wool. I was like, “Mom, you cannot seriously expect me to wear this for real.” Last week I wore it as a joke, but then everyone was like “That sweater is so cool!” so now this time I'm wearing it for real.
Girl #2: Good decision.
–Classroom, Fordham University
Overheard by: Martin Van Nostrand
(group of black teenagers board the train)
Teenage girl: Goddamn, there are a lot of people on this train.
Middle-aged Mexican woman: How dare you? How dare you! I am a Christian and I will not put up with this. Not on my train. You are disrespecting our Lord and every Christian on this train! God sent his beloved son Jesus down to the earth to save our souls, and I will not put up with hearing you speak against him. I am a Christian and… Nah, I’m just fucking with ‘ya.
–E Train
Overheard by: fusoya
Girl #1: His Irish accent is so heavy.
Girl #2: I know.
Girl #1: All I could make out were the words ‘actor’ and ‘single,’ but we’ll work the rest out later.
–Stitch Bar & Lounge
Hobo: Can you spare some change?
White girl: What? Why don’t you ask anyone else around here? What is this, “Ask the White Girl Day”?
–Bushwick
Girl #1, feeling her breasts: Oh my gosh! I know I’m not fat or anything, but my boobs are so heavy!
Girl #2: Uhhh, yeah…
Girl #1: Something’s wrong — they are way too heavy. Feel them!
Girl #2: Um, I don’t think–
Girl #1: –Just do it, seriously!
Girl #2, holding breast: They feel okay…
Girl #1: I think they’re too heavy. Actually hold them.
Girl #2, tightening grip: Uh, have I never told you I’m bisexual?
Girl #1: Oh… Well… Have you ever wanted to date me or something?
Girl #2: Not date you… But I’ve always wanted to have a threesome with you.
–F train
NYU professor: And so the Chinese invented statistics to take censuses. (to girl) Would you have been counted?
Girl: Um… Yes?
Guy: No, because they only counted men in the censuses.
Professor: Right, because this was back in the good old days, when men were men and women were washing machines.
–NYU Kaufman Building
Overheard by: Erin
NYU chick #1: Aren’t vegetarian hot dogs just as sketchy as normal hot dogs?
NYU chick #2: Maybe, but I would rather eat the stamen of a sketchy plant than the anus of a sketchy pig.
–Criff Dogs, St. Mark’s Place
Overheard by: djlindee
Marketing girl: Would you like to try a new perfume? It's for you and your pet!
–Bryant Park, Outside Fashion Week Tents
Overheard by: jycho
Girl: I told my mom that I would probably be alone for the rest of my life. Yesterday she sent me an e-mail with a link to petfinder.com.
–Student Center, Barnard
Overheard by: Kristine
Man trying to sell comedy club tickets: Cheaper than an abortion! More entertaining than the crucifixion! More fun than euthanizing your pets!
–50th Ave & Broadway
Overheard by: Colleen
Queer on cell: Well, women are just pets for straight men.
–E 10th St
Woman on cell: So are you going to tell your daughter that you ate her pet?
–20th St & 1st Ave
Overheard by: Jesse S G
Girl #1: Is it just me, or are people on the West Coast taller?
Girl #2: It’s probably because people here on the East Coast are too beaten down by the wind and the shame.
–72nd & Broadway
