Which I Suppose Was the Point of the Tour

Girl #1: … And you went to Amsterdam?
Girl #2: Yeah, it was really cool. We went to the Reichsmuseum, the Van Gogh Museum, the Red Light District…
Girl #1: Did you go to the Anne Frank House?
Girl #2: Yeah, but we sort of did things backwards that day… We went to the Heineken brewery and then to a coffeehouse, so by the time we got to the Anne Frank House we were totally drunk and high.
Girl #1: What?! You went to the Anne Frank House drunk?
Girl #2: No, it’s okay… We went to a concentration camp while we were in Germany and saw all kinds of stuff about the war. By the time we got to Amsterdam, we were like, ‘Enough with the Nazis, already!’

–11th & University

Overheard by: I did the same thing when I was in Amsterdam

Posted on July 31, 2015
Girls, History & Geography, Hitler/Nazis, The Village

That Must Be Canadia

Man: Honey, what’s her zip code?
Woman: Oh…um…it’s 1000007.

–Astoria

Overheard by: Alizzon

Girl #1: We’re going to Montreal for the weekend.
Girl #2: I love Montreal! It’s so easy to get to, and so exotic…it’s
like going to a different country.

–68th & Lexington

Posted on July 31, 2015
Astoria, Girls, Global Geography, Men

Which Cost Them the Cold War

White girl #1: Do you dance hip hop?
White girl #2: I'm too white for that.
White girl #3: I can dance and I'm white.
White girl #2: But you're Russian? Russian people don't have any black people.

–32nd & 5th Ave

Posted on July 30, 2015
Compare/Contrast, Dancing, Default, Girls, Global Geography, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Music, Questions, Race, White People

Like I Do When You Ask for I.D.

Girl: Is this tequila comparable to Jose?
Old wino: Uhh, ask Leonard, but be careful, he'll go on forever.
Girl: S'okay, I'll fake a seizure.

–Liquor Store, 53rd St & 2nd Ave

Posted on July 30, 2015
Compare/Contrast, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Fakes, Girls, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Old People, Store

He Had Enough of That with Winona

Girl #1: How excited would you be if we saw Johnny Depp?
Girl #2: I’d probably pee my pants and then pass out.

–Wall St

Overheard by: Jenny

Posted on July 30, 2015
About Celebrities, Girls, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport

And I Love You, Horns and All

Guy: I am really excited about our trip to Germany in the summer. We have to make sure to stop in Frankfurt to meet my family.
Girl: I am kind of nervous about meeting your grandfather since your mom said he was a Nazi and I am Jewish.
Guy: My grandfather is just a mild Nazi. He only believes in the conspiracy theories about Jews.
Girl: Well, I don’t care that your grandfather’s a Nazi. I love you.

–1 Train

Overheard by: Cannelle

Posted on July 30, 2015
Family Ties, Girls, Global Geography, Guys, Hitler/Nazis, Love, On the Subway, Relationships, Tourism, Travel, Wishes & desires

Wednesday One-liners

Woman: A hundred dollars worth of squeaky toys and you eat garbage off the floor! I don’t get it.

–22nd & 7th

Overheard by: debo

Teenage boy: Once I hit the blind kid that lives downstairs with a ball and I felt so bad but it had me thinking, “what if he got his sight back by me hitting him?”. I would be like, “yo, you have your sight back thanks to me, give me some money.”

–2 train

Girl on cell: Your ass is, like, slightly cuter than my face.

–Union Square

Posted on July 29, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Ass, Girls, Health and Hygiene, Manhattan, Money & Class, On Cell, On the Subway, Only in New York, Street, Stupidity, Teens, Union Square and East Village, Violence

Country Mouse, Wednesday One-Liner Mouse

Very happy male suit wearing slippers, shuffling down to the subway: If you can wear slippers in New York, you can wear slippers anywhere.

–2 Train

Overheard by: Lara

Suit on cell: I'm so glad to be in New York, where everyone is so mellow and everyone talks American.

–DiFara Pizzeria

Guy to date: That's what I love about New York–people wear different outfits.

–Outside Deluxe, 113th & Broadway

Overheard by: Ladle

Dad to preteen daughter: See, I really don't have issues with citizens not from New York city.

–Forest Hills

Overheard by: depends on citizens

Woman on cell: I'm in New York, where Sesame Street lives.

–52nd & 7th

Overheard by: AEVRed

Southern lady on cell: I have to say I'm disappointed. I thought the Wal-Mart in New York would be amazing. Ya'll don't even have a Wal-Mart.

–Duane Reade, 34th & 8th

Posted on July 29, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Clothing, Columbia University, Dads, Duane Reade, Foreigners, Girls, Guys, Happiness, Languages, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Physical appearance, Queens, Restaurants & Cafes, Shoes, Southerners, Store, Stupidity, Suits, Tourism, TV, Tweens, Weirdness, Women

And Having Kids As Cover

Girl, on Russian spies: Like, what were they doing anyway?
Guy, seriously: I don't know. Spying and stuff.

–E Train

Overheard by: Mary D

Posted on July 28, 2015
Girls, Guys, On the Subway, Questions, Stupidity

Wednesday One-Liners Don’t Grow on Trees

Crazy guy: Look at you people. All y’all paying eighteen, nineteen hundred dollars rent. I pay two dollars rent! And I get a free transfer!

–Uptown A Train

Overheard by: Heather

Smoking girl: I’m just not going to put all of this money and time into this degree and then take a job that pays less than $100,000 after I graduate. I mean, I’m just *not*.

–Outside Fayerweather Hall, Columbia University

Overheard by: Ladle

Bored street fundraiser for the homeless: Just one penny, people. Just one penny. Blah, blah, blah.

–Union Square Park

Overheard by: Farley

Crazy guy: You motherfucking actors with all your fucking money and shit… I hate you… But boy did I want to be an actor when I was young.

–Outside NBC Studios, 49th & 6th

Overheard by: Ross

Frustrated booth operator, yelling at an argumentative tourist: Lady, this subway hasn’t used tokens in over seven years! And that ain’t even a token… It’s a one collar coin!

–Subway, Spring & Lafayette

Overheard by: NYC Tourists Never Cease to Amaze Me

50-something ticket collector to high school girl: Don’t worry, I didn’t forget your change. (pause) I will never forget you. (walks away)

–Metro-North Train

Mother to young daughter running down the street: Get over here before I make change outta that five dollar ass!

–168 & Broadway

Posted on July 28, 2015
9 to 5-ers, Activists, All Wednesday One-Liners, Arts & Letters, Columbia University, Compare/Contrast, Crazies, Creepsters, Education, Girls, Guys, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Home, Sweet Home, Homeless, Insults, Jobs & Careers, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Moms, Money & Class, On the Subway, Public Transportation, Smokers & Smoking, The Village, Threats, Trains Not Subway, Union Square and East Village

Girls