Young hippie girl: So you're too tired to go to the Empire State Building and you're too hot to go on the boats? So basically you don't love me.
Old, sweaty, stressed guy (laughing): We're here again?
–Central Park
Young hippie girl: So you're too tired to go to the Empire State Building and you're too hot to go on the boats? So basically you don't love me.
Old, sweaty, stressed guy (laughing): We're here again?
–Central Park
Ten-year-old tourist girl wearing pink Crocs: Smoking is bad for you!
Smoking queer: Crocs are for retarded kids who can't tie their own shoes.
–50th St & Broadway
Overheard by: Scott
Girl: He sucks at his job. How does he not get fired?
Friend: He probably uses the kid card.
Girl: The what?
Friend: You know, the “Oh, look at my kid!”
–Astor Place & Broadway
Overheard by: christine y0
Brunette: She was in a wheelchair.
Blonde: She was a bitch on wheels!
Brunette: Yeah, she'd come wheeling out and I was like: “Dammit, Conchita!” …but she could cook.
–Café Mare Gelateria
Girl: Hey…do you think that there's, like, pregnant porn out there?
Friend: You mean, porn, starring pregnant women?
Girl: Yeah.
Friend: That's gross. I don't even want to know.
Girl: Hmm… I think I'm going to look it up when I get home.
Friend: Can we please stop talking about this?
Girl: I'll send you some?
Friend (disgusted): Please. Don't.
–27th & 6th
Overheard by: sam
Man #1: It's Bastille Day, so viva le France!
Man #2: Screw France, viva Las Vegas.
Random girl: Viva 69!
–Brooklyn Bridge
French girl #1: My friend cannot eat pineapple, because the last time he did, he got this -what do you call it- in his mouth…
American guy: Herpes!
French girl #2: Uh… I don't know if that is the word.
French girl #1: Yea, he ate it and had these little spots…
American guy: Herpes! I have herpes all the time, too.
French girl #2: Maybe it is the same word in English.
(later)
French girl #1: Well he has this small problem near his eye…
American guy: An eye tumor?
French girl #1: Yes, like a little, uh, tumor.
American guy: Man, you guys have weird diseases in France.
–Whole Foods, Union Square
Overheard by: AJ
Ingenue: She looks good for her age.
Jaded older woman: Botox and lifts.
Ingenue: At least her hair is natural.
Jaded older woman: You kidding? She dyes every week.
Ingenue: Her teeth.
Jaded older woman: Please.
Ingenue: Why do I feel guilty just talking to you?
–Front & Wall Streets
Overheard by: Feeling Guilty for Just Listening
Teen girl tourist #1: I can't believe we're, like, under New York City right now!
Teen girl tourist #2: How will we know where we're going?!
–Downtown 6 Train
Overheard by: Liz
Gay guy: Ugh, I can't stand these small theaters. They're so cramped and sweaty, and the seats are too small.
Girl: Whatever, you're just being a snob.
Gay guy: Yeah well, maybe I've just paid my dues long enough in this city to feel above this scene. I don't think…
Girl (interrupts): Oh my god, Mandy Moore just walked in.
Gay guy (gasps and whips around): Mandy Moore?! Where?!
–Cherry Lane Theater
