The Sum Of All Wednesday One-Liners

Woman on cell: And when my brother got near him, his poop came out. That's how scared he was.

–107th & Broadway

Woman on cell: So yeah, they are really scary, like if you walk in the house they will bark really loud, and that's totally worse than them biting you.

–Majestic Theater

Girl on cell: I went in for genetic counseling and I found out things that scared me.

–10th Ave & 39th St

Overheard by: Todd Fletcher

Girl on cell: No, you can't go! I'm too stoned and too scared. Just stay on the phone with me, please.

–Supermarket, Astoria

Conductor: Never fear! The phantom of the train is here!

–7 Train

Overheard by: Alex

Posted on June 14, 2021
All Wednesday One-Liners, Astoria, Conductors, Family Ties, Fears, Girls, Grocery Stores, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Man's Best Friend, Medicine, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Passengers, Poop, Public Transportation, Theater, Vampires, Ghouls, and Ghosts, oh my!, Violence, Wednesday One-Liners, Weed, Weirdness, Women

Great –Now I Have to Throw Up

Little girl: I’m going to throw up.
Mother: You can throw up when we get off the train.
Little girl: [pauses] I love you, mommy.

–N Train

Overheard by: Rachel

Posted on June 10, 2021
Default, Girls, Kids, Moms, Offers and requests, On the Subway, Vomit, Weirdness

The Von Trapp Children Are Just Annoying in Real Life

Loud girl: She's leaving the train!
Loud friends #1, #2, #3 and #4: Yay!
Loud friend #1: She's leaving the train!
Loud friend #2: She is! Yay!
Girl getting off train: I love you guys! I'm leaving!
All: Bye!
(train leaves platform)
All: She's off the train! Yeah, she got off the train!
(they all start singing very loudly)

–1 Train

Posted on June 7, 2021
Friends, Girls, On the Subway, Public Transportation, Weirdness

Wednesday One-Liners: So Lifelike!

Girl: If I made a sex doll that smelled like elk, he would totally do it!

–Queens

Middle-aged Latino: I've got barbie dolls!

–Brooklyn

Overheard by: Confabulation Nation

Newspaper vendor: Cause I have that multiple sneezing thing! I hate that crap! I'm like a bobble-head doll!

–96th St & Madison Ave

Overheard by: Galatea

Girl leaving nail salon: It looks like Malibu Barbie just threw up all over my feet.

–11th St & Broadway

Overheard by: Bill

Despondent little girl in coffee shop: Um, I don't play with the doll house that much because you said we're not supposed to play in the meditation room.

–Carroll Gardens, Brooklyn

Posted on June 3, 2021
All Wednesday One-Liners, Animals & Nature, Body Parts, Brooklyn, Compare/Contrast, Girls, Gripes, Kids, Kink, Latinos, Queens, Sensory Experiences, Street, Stupidity, The Village, Upper East Side, Vendors & Street Performers, Vomit, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Yoga

Courage Is Being Scared and Doing What You Have to Do, Sweetie

Guy: So, can I just walk you halfway there and then leave so I don't have to see your mom?
Girl: No.
Guy: Fuck.

–Grand Central Terminal

Posted on June 3, 2021
Girls, Grand Central, Guys, Insults, Parents, Questions, Train Station

I Think I Saw This on an Episode of Sliders

Hip girl: What’s up with that airline?
Friend: What do you mean?
Hip girl: The flight attendants were all straight men.

–JFK

Overheard by: A random

Posted on June 2, 2021
Girls, JFK Airport, Questions

He Was Merely Trying to Help Them Through the Fence

College girl: So you’re a real farmer! What do you have? Cows, pigs, sheep…?
Long-haired guy in overalls: No, no — had to get rid of the sheep. They were all liars.

–D train

Overheard by: Murray

Posted on June 1, 2021
Animals & Nature, Girls, Liars, Lies, On the Subway, Paranoia, Questions, Students, Wishes & desires, Yeaaahhh College!

Wednesday One-Liners Are One Baaaad Mother– Shut Yo' Mouth!

Cute JAP talking about all the stuff she gets: I don't need a man, I have my mom.

–Rare View Bar

Overheard by: white guy

Blonde girl to male friend: Listen, John. Fifteen minutes, your mom. Fifteen minutes, your mom.

–R Train

Annoying 40-something new mom: A good mom always has a diaper in her pocket!

–Barnes & Noble, 18th & 5th

Overheard by: I Am McLovey

Coworker: I got a bootleg mother.

–Midtown

Window-shopping tourist to wife: Look, honey! It's the dress your mother wore when they buried her!

–Union Square

Overheard by: CJ

Guy: I go over to the house for Mother's Day and she yells at me for not calling her for Mother's Day like my brother did. So I go outside and call her from my cell and say "happy Mother's Day!" and she yells at me for being an idiot.

–37th & 7th