20-something girl in floral dress #1: I know! I was just like, “stick it in my ass already!”
20-something girl in floral dress #2: I know, right?
–Great Lawn, Central Park
Overheard by: The Boss
20-something girl in floral dress #1: I know! I was just like, “stick it in my ass already!”
20-something girl in floral dress #2: I know, right?
–Great Lawn, Central Park
Overheard by: The Boss
Cute blonde: So, I thought I might like him, and we went on some fun dates, but then he shaved his head and now I can’t go out with him.
Friend: Wait — what’s wrong with him shaving his head?
Cute blonde: Well, nothing in theory, but now he looks like a terrorist.
–116th & Broadway
Overheard by: uptown girl
Headline by: Sarah K
Runners-Up:
· “…Or Ghandi, Whichever.” – Johnny
· “And He Wants Me to Call Him Britney in Bed” – Sim Etrias
· “And the Anthrax in His Apartment Is No Picnic Either” – Naked Lunch
· “Oh, Whew… I Thought You Said, “tourist”” – Rhadamanthus
· “Plus, I Wouldn’t Qualify As One Of His 72 Virgins” – MarioRPG
· “Racial Profiling Is So Hot Right Now” – Fran
Girl #1: Do I have a camel toe?
Girl #2: No, you're good.
Girl #1: Thanks for being a good friend and looking at my vagina.
–109th St & Amersterdam
Overheard by: Kizzle
High school-age Jersey girl: So I went on my ex-boyfriend's Facebook, since his birthday was last week. Only like 30 people wrote on his wall to wish him happy birthday.
Friend: Oh my god. What a loser!
–NJ Transit Terminal, Penn Station
Overheard by: Ashley
Suit: My friends told me that you told them that I’d hijacked you. We’ve only dated for a week. For so many reasons it’s not going to work out.
Girl: I don’t understand how someone can just say it’s not going to work out. You know everything about me: my family, my life, all about me. I shared everything this week. I would have held back if I’d known.
Suit: …It’s like I have sticker shock…You are just a much more fun, engaged person than me.
Girl: I don’t understand someone who can just say it’s not going to work out. How can you just say it’s not going to work out?
Suit: Can’t we be friends? That’s why I asked you to meet me here.
Girl: Well, at least we slept together this week. I never wait. I’m so glad we didn’t wait.
–Esashi, Avenue A
Immature boy complaining about health video: Why is it that they put those mosaic blurry thingies on the nipples and show everything else?
Asian girl trying to do homework: God, you horny bastard!
–Hunter College High School
Overheard by: stop asking about bra sizes
Guy: So I bought the shady chicken…
Girl: The street meat?
Guy: Yeah. You only have to wait on line for, like, two seconds.
–Elevator, State Street Plaza
Girl to friend: So, I found out that Jon has herpes and he never told me.
(friend looks at her in shock)
Girl: Not that kind of herpes, the other kind. But I talked to him about it. It's pretty funny, actually. But he didn't tell me. Well…we don't really talk about stuff like that.
–110th St & Broadway
Headline by: ikki nikki
Runners-Up:
· “…Until I Googled Valtrex, That Is” – keeps on giving
· “Genital Sores Tend to Speak for Themselves” – DCGeek
· “So Long As He Keeps It in His Ass, It Doesn’t Affect Our Relationship” – BenGay
· “The Line for Guest Appearences on Maury Starts Here…” – John
· “We Don’t Want Things to Get Too Simplex” – erak
· “Which Is Why He Doesn’t Know About My Three Abortions” – Jesse
· “You Mean the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” Kind Of Herpes?” – leoladie23
Teenage girl #1: What did he say?
Teenage girl #2: He just texted me back “touché”. Everyone always says that, what does that mean anyway?
Teenage girl #1: Ummm…I think it’s like “true that!”
–Nail Salon, Park Slope
Chick: Excuse me, sir?
Butch female worker: Yes?
Chick: Oh…sorry.
–23rd & 6th
