Guy: I mean, she can come with and dance on the table.
Girl: I wanna see the baby!
–Avenue U & Coney Island Ave
Overheard by: I wanna go where they're going.
Guy: I mean, she can come with and dance on the table.
Girl: I wanna see the baby!
–Avenue U & Coney Island Ave
Overheard by: I wanna go where they're going.
Crazy hobo with guitar to stranger: Damn… you invited a lot of people.
–1 Train
Hobo to young married couple: I have found the promised land. Seriously. I'd get a plane ticket right now, but it'd be cheaper to go to confession for a week and then get hit by a bus. Remind me to tell you about this later.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Oliver
Grimy hobo: Hey, do you guys have any change? Hey, do you guys have any change?
(20-something girl walks past him, with businessman a few steps behind) Hey, do you guys want to have sex? Uh, I mean…
–W 3rd & Thompson
Hobo, taking donations to help the homeless, counting coins: 25…50…60… (grabs fistful of coins sticks in pocket) Tax rebate!
–Union Square
Chick: …and the next thing I knew, I kicked her ass three times.
–Lolita Bar
Guy: What does that tattoo say?
Chick: *Sigh* I promised myself I’d never get a tattoo unless I had a kid. Then I got a dog. It says Roxy. That’s her name. Now I have to explain to everyone how I’m the biggest loser in the world.
–LES
Hobo: Anyone have a $50 bill?…How ’bout you?
Chick: What?
Hobo: Are there any rich people on this train?
Chick: No.
Hobo: You like me? Wanna give me a kiss?
–6 train
Overheard by: S.D. & S.H.
Boy: My name is Jack* and I am not intimidating.
Girl: My name is Jill* and I am very intimidating.
Boy: Fortunately, I am a few drinks in, and not very intimidated.
–Bar, Brooklyn
Chick: So what are the most dangerous places in New York these days?
Dude #1: I don’t know. Hell’s Kitchen used to be the worst.
Dude #2: What about Harlem?
Dude #1: I guess Harlem’s still bad, but it’s not like it used to be where everybody would be waiting around to stab lost white people.
–1 Train
Overheard by: Alex Remnick
Girl #1: Oh my god, he called you a bitch? I am going to kill him!
Girl #2: Nooo, it’s okay, I am a bitch. Like, I really never care when people say mean things about me because they’re always true. Like, I’m really mean. I am a huge bitch.
Girl #1: Yeah, same, I guess… I’m a whore.
–26th & 10th
Overheard by: Gaby
Girl: Hey, which one of you doesn’t like incest again?
–14th & 5th
Overheard by: gil ber
Girl: Did you know half the length of a guy's foot is the length of his penis?
Boy, observing inhumanly large feet: In that case, I think you won the lottery.
–Bard High School, Queens
