White girl to boyfriend: I want to go to my father's country one day…I want to go where my father was born…Hades.
Boyfriend: Where?
White girl: Hades, I wanna go to Hades where my father was born…you know, that little island in the Dominican Republic?
–PATH
Deli worker: What part of Mexico are you from?
Tourist: Umm… We’re from Canada.
Deli worker: Oh. You sure like spicy peppers.
Tourist: Yeah. All Canadians like spicy peppers.
Deli worker: True.
–Broadway & Liberty
Chick 1: So he was hot but you didn't call him back because he was descended from royalty and his family was assassinated?
Chick 2: More or less. And he asked me to decorate his apartment 13 minutes after I met him.
Chick 1: But he was half Greek.
Chick 2: And half Syrian.
Chick 1: Oh.
–L Train
Woman stopping passersby: Do you know the Chinese restaurant on either 8th or 9th? (points at buildings on 14th Street)
–14th St & b/w 7th & 8th Ave
Girl to another: What is jizz?
–NYU Freshman Dorm
Overheard by: Betty Noir
Man in all seriousness to restaurant server holding two plates of food: Do you guys serve food here?
–Las Ramblas Tapas Restaurant
Woman on cell: Do you think they have batteries in the Dominican Republic, or should I buy some?
–Gateway Center, Brooklyn
Overheard by: DominicanEnergizer
Tourist woman: Excuse me, do I go Uptown or Downtown?
–Delancey St
Overheard by: TR
Bewildered girl in Persian class: Does Iran have lightning?
–NYU
Overweight geeky lunatic protester: The perpetual battery will last longer than any of us! The perpetual battery is the answer to all of our energy problems! It will draw its power from the very vacuum of space!
–Union Square South
Overheard by: Percival
Crazy old guy with beard and hat with lots of buttons: Where is the moon? Where is the moon, where is the galaxy? Have you ever seen Men in Black? It's all about the galaxy. The earth is beneath Columbus Circle. The moon is at 64th and Central Park West. If you had to suspend reality, how would you do it?
–Uptown 2 Train
Overheard by: Jingles
Professor: Has anybody ever seen a solar eclipse? Anybody, anybody? (silence) No? Well, maybe we were all inside on Facebook when it happened…
–St. John's University, Staten Island
Overheard by: Andrea
Visiting professor, explaining "word salad": Cream cheese to the moon mother, fuckers!
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Molly Moo
Obviously sober guy: I know Vikings eat ham, but what about Saturn?
–Rotating Cube Sculpture, Astor Place
Blonde: You cannot eat in space! It sucks you in.
–Union Square
Crazy bag man with hat full of buttons: Where's the moon, where's the moon? If the globe on Columbus Cirlce is the earth, the moon is on 63rd Street West. That is a test of spatial ree-al-uh-tee. How well did you do?
–Uptown 3 Train, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Les Izzmore
Black Man (to African Man): Where are you from? Why don’t you go back there, man?
–Penn Station
Actor speaking on his cell phone on the subway: “I’m starring in a play called Andorra, about a fictional country in Europe.”
Yuppie #1: I only went to Brazil for a month, but on my third day there I met her.
Yuppie #2: Women in South America are so hot. Especially Brazil and Spain.
–Belgian Beer Bar, Greenwich Village
Gay teen: I told her that while she’s over there she has to find me a German boyfriend.
Girl: Why?
Gay teen: So he can dress up like a Nazi and we can play concentration camp fetish games.
Girl: Oh, right.
–Odessa, Ave. A
Guy in limo: I love your city!
Guy on street: I love your city!
Guy in limo: I love your city!
Guy on street: I love your city, where you from?
Guy in limo: I'm Norwegian.
Guy on street: Norwegia!
–Bleecker & LaGuardia
Overheard by: Josh
