Before AD 1, It Was Burgers Or Nothing

Little girl: Mommy, look at the fishes!
Mother: You know where all these creatures come from?
Girl: Jesus?
Mother: You betcha.

–New York Aquarium, Coney Island

Overheard by: Swear I’m not listening…

Posted on December 21, 2015
Animals & Nature, Christians, Coney Island, Girls, God Squad, Jesus, Kids, Moms, Stupidity

Son Of a Wednesday One-Liner Man

Evangelist outside gym: You want to be a macho man? Look at Jesus!

–Broadway & Prince

Street evangelist on microphone: Y'all ever see two female pigeons in bed together?

–Fordham Plaza

Very agitated priest: Jesus was a zygote once–what if Mary aborted him?

–St. Luke's Church, Whitestone

Crazy subway evangelist: If god could make me a good crackhead, you best believe he could make me a good preacher.

–E Train

Overheard by: Giggling at crack

Preacher: And that's why your religion is null and void.

–Union Square

Overheard by: Alfie

Posted on December 10, 2015
Abortion, All Wednesday One-Liners, Birds, Christianity, Christians, Compare/Contrast, Crazies, Gays and Lesbians, God, God Squad, Hard Drugs, Jesus, On the Subway, One-liners, Preachers, Queens, Questions, Religion, Sex, Sexuality, Soho, Street, Union Square and East Village, Upper East Side, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

City Mouse Needs to Get Out More

Observant girl, pointing at something on the sidewalk: Is that an animal?
Downright perceptive guy: No. That’s a pair of pants.

–1st & 1st

Overheard by: Peter Horan

Posted on September 19, 2015
Animals & Nature, Clothing, Comebacks, God Squad, Jews, Questions, Union Square and East Village

I Guess Today They’re Riding

Old black lady: Oh lord, Satan’s children are walking the streets
Goth kid: Shut the fuck up, Rosa Parks. Go sit in the back of the fucking bus!

–M86 bus

Overheard by: Metal Martyr

Posted on August 14, 2015
Black People, Girls, God Squad, Guys, History & Geography, Insults, Old People, On the Bus, Race, Religion, Threats, Weirdness, Women

Um, Guys, That’s a Stoner in a Bathrobe

Orthodox man #1, seeing man walk by dressed as Jesus: Jesus! [He and his posse begin to chase Jesus.]Orthodox man #2: You are not the son of God!

–Washington Square Park

Posted on August 3, 2015
God Squad, Jesus, Religion, Washington Square Park

He’s Back. And This Time, He’s Fabulous!

Woman #1: How old do you think I am?
Woman #2: I don’t know…
Woman #1: I’m 46.
Woman #2: 46? Really? You look so young!
Woman #1: That’s Jesus.

–Fresco Tortilla, 52nd & 9th

Posted on August 3, 2015
Age/Aging, Compliments, God Squad, Jesus, Ladies Who Lunch, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Stupidity, Talking/Convos, Women

Me He Just Fucks and Leaves

Missionary: Jesus loves you. Jesus loves you all!
Jewish teen: Not me, though.

–Times Square

Overheard by: Jak

Posted on August 1, 2015
God Squad, Jesus, Times Square

We Invented Jesus

Young, religious guy: Hey! Do you know Jesus?
Older guy: Of course, I'm Catholic!

–Times Square

Overheard by: Lily F.

Posted on July 15, 2015
Christianity, God Squad, Jesus, Old People, Questions, Times Square

“I said holiness, not assholiness.”

God squad guy: Jesus is the way, Jesus is the way, take a prayer book because Jesus is the way!
Man: Look, buddy, it’s New York. We’re all Jewish in one way or another. Try Jersey.

–Union Square West

Overheard by: CW

Posted on July 3, 2015
God Squad, Jesus, Jews, Multiculturalism, Overheard Style, Union Square and East Village

Five Years Till It’s Available Only on DVD

Bible-thumping lady: Get your Bible! We only have approximately five years left!
Passerby: Five years! Fuck! I gotta get movin’!

–Grand Central

Overheard by: Adam Bertocci

Posted on February 14, 2015
Advice, Books & Writing, Church, Default, God Squad, Grand Central, Offers and requests, Strangers, Threats, Train Station, Women

God Squad