20-something guy #1: Every guy wishes Harrison Ford was his father at least one time during his life.
20-something guy #2: Oh, absolutely!
–Starbucks, 17th & 6th Ave
20-something guy #1: Every guy wishes Harrison Ford was his father at least one time during his life.
20-something guy #2: Oh, absolutely!
–Starbucks, 17th & 6th Ave
Guy: Don't smoke a cigarette. Seriously, put that out. You shouldn't be smoking! It says so right on the pack!
Drunk friend: Shut up! I want a cheaper abortion!
–Bleecker & McDougal
Guy #1: You know how people say that if you give homeless people money, all they'll buy is drugs and alcohol?
Guy #2: Yeah.
Guy #1: Well, fuck, that's what I would buy!
–9th St & University Place
Overheard by: Jazz
Headline by: bq
Runners-Up:
· “Behold, the Democratic Stimulus Plan!” – The Trayster
· “I Guess That Explains the Cardboard Box You Live In…” – Timmy
· “I Mean, After I Paid Off My Credit Card Debt, Of Course” – 1310 (formerly SNA)
· “Michael Phelps Has an Epiphany” – JohnnyB
· “Mickey Rourke’s Comeback Was Short-Lived” – Sing it sister!
· “That’s Why You Don’t Have Full Access to Your Trust Fund” – Keith
Tiny hipster girl: So how’s the kneecap?
Hipster guy: Fuckin’ swollen.
Tiny hipster girl: Fuck yeah!
Hipster guy: Yeah. But I’m getting an elephant head tattooed next to my cock!
–Europa, Williamsburg
Overheard by: kneecaps are a real bitch
Pretty boy: You know, penis density is really an under-appreciated quality.
Fat friend: Yeah, I may have a one-and-a-half-inch dick, but it weighs 50 pounds!
Girlfriend to other chick: At least they aren’t talking about circle jerks anymore.
–35th & 9th
Overheard by: Brad
Hardcore guy #1, after receiving text: Oh, he says he's out chilling with his sister at Union Pool. (pause) I should go over there and fuck her!
Hardcore guy #2: What?
Hardcore guy #1: Whatever! I'm a sister fucker!
–Graham Ave, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Me Too.
Man #1: I’m thinking of buying boobs for my wife for her birthday.
Man #2: Oh really? That’s great.
–38th & 5th Ave
Overheard by: Victoria e.
NYU JAP on phone to mother (enraged): Ugh, mom! No! Wearing seasonally inappropriate outerwear will not make me sweat and lose weight!
–NYU Silver Center
Overheard by: Maeve
Woman in line with friend at Duane Reade, reading can of energy drink: Wait. There's carbs in here? Like bread carbs? Carbs are bread, right? Cause when people go on, like, a low carb diet, they don't eat any bread, right? But I still don't understand why there's bread in here. Whatever. It doesn't even taste like bread.
–Duane Reade
10-year-old kid to friend: So you're a year older than me, but you're 20 pounds lighter? That's fucked up.
–Christopher St & Waverly Place
Overheard by: sharknife
Girl: You know how some people are social drinkers? I'm a social eater.
–NYU
Overheard by: ninja z
Asian fashionista: Yeah, I think I'm like a size 12 in boys.
–Conde Nast Building
Overheard by: jackattack
Loud guy on cell: Actually, I can't be bulimic anymore because I have no gag reflex. I've been sucking too much cock.
–34th & 7th Ave
Overheard by: Alis
Guy #1: Man, I really need to listen to more rap.
Guy #2: Dude, you don’t need to listen; you need to live it.
–Half King Bar, West 23rd Street
Old man: Hey, you just kicked my bag!
Young man: Dude, it was just sitting there. For all I know it has a bomb in it.
Old man: But I’m right here!
Young man: Look, you show me a bag that looks like a bomb and I’m gonna kick it, every time.
–Men’s room, Union Square Regal Cinemas
