Girl: Well maybe you should start seeing a therapist.
Guy: I bet you they’ll just say I’m paranoid.
–76th & Broadway
Girl: Well maybe you should start seeing a therapist.
Guy: I bet you they’ll just say I’m paranoid.
–76th & Broadway
Guy: ‘Cause when a girl’s got way too many diaphragms…
Chick: Yeah.
Guy: That’s the sign that I missed.
–93rd & Broadway
Fratboy to friends: Other than the bleeding, I’d much prefer pussy.
–Peculiar Pub, LaGuardia & Bleecker
Overheard by: Spanky Van Dyke
Wife on cell: Hon, I think I might be pregnant. I’m getting nervous. I mean, my period’s not late, but I feel nauseous.
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Snozberry
Guy with hot chick: Yeah, it feels fine! Is your tampon comfortable?
–Houston & 1st Ave
Overheard by: Lazy Mr. Wiggles
Loud lady: You know what my son calls my period?
–Q18 bus
Overheard by: Didn’t hang around to hear the rest…
Female employee: My boss hates hearing about menstruation. Any time I want to get him off my back I just tell him I’m having my period. He puts his hands up over his ears like he’s hearing nails on a blackboard. If he doesn’t leave me alone right away, I tell him my napkin is soaked and I have to change it.
–Peter Luger’s, Williamsburg
Overheard by: Big Larry
Dude: What I don’t get is, how did he get the tampon in his nose in the first place?
–Lower East Side
Woman: Excuse me, can you tell me something? Do I have a hickey on my neck? I have to go to a lunch and I just want to know if I have a hickey on my neck.
–SoHo
Overheard by: kim
Guy on cell: He shoved his hand in so many crevices that they looked like flippers.
–2nd Ave & Houston
Overheard by: gypsee
Drunk girl: If Bethany doesn't have legs, nobody has legs.
–1 Train
Overheard by: oliviz
Strange woman, seeing another woman massaging pressure points on friend's ear: She has a headache? It starts in the scrotum.
–M14D Bus
Man, missing stop: This is the problem with having a prostate that's bigger than your brain…you always forget to get off.
–Downtown 1 Train
Overheard by: rachel
Girl: She slept with Harry, and she didn't know he only had one hand, and afterward she still didn't know he only had one hand.
–Brother Jimmy's Restaurant
Overheard by: Joe
Man on street corner to overweight teen girl: Ooh, I like them healthy girls!
Overweight teen girl: I'm not healthy! I'm at high risk for diabetes!
–147th St & Broadway
Overheard by: Innocent By-stander
15-year-old girl #1: Are you talking politics over there? Just shut up!
15-year-old girl #2: Yeah we are–it's all about Obama.
15-year-old girl #1: What is Obama doing for me?
15-year-old girl #2: What is Obama doing for you?! I'll tell you. He's out there, trying to fight for health care to cover all of us. That abortion you need–you shouldn't have to pay for it. That shit should be covered. None of this abstinence shit.
–A Train
Overheard by: Elana
Guy #1: You’re the first person I’ve seen that washed their hands before going to the toilet.
Guy #2: My godfather was a doctor and he got it into my head at a young enough age that I had to always do it.
Guy #1: Really? He must have been a bit of a strange doctor.
Guy #2: Yeah…He specialized in infectious diseases.
–Milk and Honey bathroom, Eldridge Street
Queer on cell: Okay, but I’m taking the turkey with me when I leave, ’cause I’m bored.
–50th & 8th
Overheard by: amelia
Queer: I’ve become a statistic these days… I smoke a cigarette, drink my latte, talk on the phone, and drive all at the same time. What? Oh, yeah, and the occasional hand job, you’re right, I forgot…
–Chelsea Cafe
Overheard by: TJ
Queer on cell: … And then she called me and asked for advice on starving herself.
–Fung Wah Bus
Overheard by: nina
Queer: How can he still be dating her? She’s bearded! We told her she has a beard, and she didn’t do anything about it! That’s like someone telling me I have a goiter and not doing anything about it.
–116th & Broadway
Guy on cell: That’s what I love about being a gay man. I don’t wanna hear your shit, I don’t wanna hear your life story, just put your cock in my mouth.
–7th Ave & 26th St
Overheard by: Raze One
Mother to son, as he exits camel ride: Were you scared?
Son: The part that was scariest was the germs.
–Bronx Zoo
Overheard by: mully
Guy #1: So I had my colonoscopy Tuesday. It was like I lost an hour out of my life.
Guy #2: What do you mean?
Guy #1: Oh that stuff they give you to make you sleepy. It gives you
amnesia or something.
Guy #2: That’s messed up.
Guy #1: So my girlfriend tells me afterwords like five times that they removed a polyp and that they think it could be pre-cancerous. I won’t know until next week or something.
Guy #2: So where do you want to get lunch?
–Wall between Pearl & Hanover
Overheard by: Barb Ordell
