Guy #1: I mean, what I really like about Kelly is that she is really funny…I mean actually, really funny.
Guy #2: Yeah… You usually get that with Jew girls.
Guy #1: Yeah man… Man, what was Hitler thinking?
–4 Train
Overheard by: Liz
Guy #1: I mean, what I really like about Kelly is that she is really funny…I mean actually, really funny.
Guy #2: Yeah… You usually get that with Jew girls.
Guy #1: Yeah man… Man, what was Hitler thinking?
–4 Train
Overheard by: Liz
Hipster guy: I mean, she’s a Jewish. She’s not, like, a bad person, I think.
–44th & 9th
Overheard by: …right.
Dude: He’s that kind of super-serious Jew that doesn’t touch women. I think they call it ‘Hava Nagila.’
–Rockefeller Center
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Middle school girl trying to catch snowflakes in her mouth: These snowflakes are so antisemitic! They won’t go in my mouth!
–110th & Amsterdam
Blonde on cell: I just don’t see us working out. All my friends hate you, my mom hates you, and even my dog hates you… My mom hates you because you’re not Jewish… Yes, I’m aware I’m Catholic… Because Jews are financially secure!
–Starbucks, Upper West Side
Frustrated Jewish guy: I mean, look at these people and their Red Sox yarmulkes! What is this world coming to?!
–Judaism Debate, Cooper Union
Shiksa seeing menorah-shaped chocolates: Oooh, combs!
–Party, W 72nd & Broadway
Chick: I liked it. It wasn’t like, ‘Aw, too bad, it’s the Holocaust.’ It was more like, ‘Yeah! The Holocaust!’
Friend: Plus, it didn’t make me feel guilty about thinking Nazis are hot.
–AMC Theatres
Overheard by: Kelly
Young girl to older man: Sir, I don’t think it’s fair to compare Greenpeace to the Nazis.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Nick
Teen girl to friend: Oh, I know about the Great Depression! That’s when Hitler’s wife poisoned her kids and then shot herself. She was really depressed.
–Colombus Library, 50th & 10th
Hipster chick: We’re neutral like Switzerland, except we do more business with the Nazis, or, in this case, your mother.
–Forsyth & Houston
Teen son to mom: So, how’s Hitler doing?
–2 train
Frumpy Asian guy: She’s a Hitler-lover.
Tall Aryan guy: I don’t care about the Hitler-lover thing as long as she’s hot. [High fives are exchanged.]
–Fordham University Rose Hill, Bronx
Hipster guy #1: And then there was a huge dick.
Hipster guy #2: A dick?
Hipster guy #1: Yeah, and it was ejaculating a swastica all over the concrete.
Hipster guy #3: What a fucked up dream.
–3rd Ave & 9th St
Overheard by: Lloy-Duh
Old drunk guy: You guys know anything about health and nutrition?
Guy: Clearly not, as we’re drinking beer.
Old drunk guy: Oh… Good point. Well, this may be weird, but remember the Holocaust? Yeah, the Germans found out that the best diets are when you eat the same thing that you’re made of. You know… They learned this because, you know, they would feed families to one another but nobody else realized it. This is why it’s good to eat red meat. Yeah, pretty crazy huh? Ok, bye.
Guy: Yikes.
–Ryan’s Daughter, 85th & 1St
Overheard by: Greg
Guy #1: You know that Anton Webern’s Quartet for the End of Time was performed in a concentration camp? Crazy.
Guy #2: Yeah. He died real weird. I forget how. I think the Nazis shot him.
Total stranger: Actually he was shot by Allied soldiers. He was breaking curfew smoking a cigarette, and they mistook him for his brother-in-law, who was an alleged Nazi spy.
Guy #1: Oh, I see. Thanks.
Total stranger: Any other questions? I just ride this train all day waiting to answer questions on twentieth-century music composition. The next car has an expert on Chekhov, and the conductor studies philosophy.
Guy #1: So anyway, Slavic girls are pretty hot.
Guy #2: Yeah, for real.
–7 train
Mother: We need to find Sound of Music for your brother.
Child: No! I want to watch Star Wars.
Mother: You can watch this. It has Nazis!
–Kim’s Video, Morningside Heights
Headline by: J Laks
Runners-Up:
· “And Bambi’s About Guns” – dei
· “And Then We’ll Watch Rent. It has lawyers!” – Nick V.
· “But Cover Your Ears During “My Favorite Things”; I’m Not Ready to Expose You to That.” – manisha
· “Gene Siskel Declares: ‘It’s a Gas!'” – erak
· “Hayden Christensen’s Acting Caused Far More Deaths, Though” – s himself
· “Now Put on Your Swastika Armband; We’re Going to See Grandpa” – phil
· “See, Sweetie, Your Brother’s Not Gay; He Just Advocates White Supremacy.” – LC
· “The Promotional Tagline That Never Quite Made It…” – Julie Holt
Woman: You know how the Germans continue to punish the Jews? They date them.
–6th St & 2nd Ave
