Reform Wednesday One‐Liners

Black guy on cell: Broadway is all gays and Jews and frankly I am sick of it.

–47^th St & 8^th

Jewish son: I did not call the rabbi to have him check up on you!

–Penn Station

Overheard by: NosyMormon

Suit on cell: Oh yes, I know all about you. You do crazy things. You eat rice on Pesach.

–Fancy Restaraunt, 79^th St

Hobo: I bet if I put up a sign that said “hungry Jew,” I’d be getting a ton of money thrown at me.

–98^th St & Broadway

Old Jewish woman, exiting store with young woman: I know it’s silly, but it was German. They killed six million Jews in Germany. I don’t like to buy things that were made in Germany.

–Queens

20‐something girl to friend: That Jew laid the spank on her!

–30^th Ave, Astoria

Posted on May 19, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Astoria, Black People, Crazy, Ethnic Food, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Gripes, Hitler/Nazis, Hobos, Jews, Judaism, Lies, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Money & Class, Old People, On Cell, One-liners, Penn Station, Queens, Race, Restaurants & Cafes, S&M, Shopping, Street, Suits, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wednesday One-Liners, Women

Stupid First Amendment

Girl #1: Is he reading the Bible?
Girl #2: No, it’s something about Nazis, can’t you see the swastika?

–Q36 Bus

Posted on March 28, 2010
Books & Writing, Bus, Christianity, Girls, Hitler/Nazis, On the Bus

The Final Solution to Wednesday One‐Liners

College girl to friend: So I was looking through all my pictures… You know, all my pictures of Nazis.

–Central Park

Overheard by: ruegah

NYU film student to another, looking at picture of French actor Benoit Magimel: He’s hot in that Hitler Youth kind of way.

–NYU Tisch Building

Guy to friend: Killing zombies is the new killing Nazis.

–1 Train

Overheard by: Preston

Random hipster: Sometimes I think Hitler was right.

–Music Hall of Williamsburg

Borders employee: I’m sorry, ma’am, we do have books about Hitler, but they’re all for children.

–Borders

Posted on February 17, 2010
About Celebrities, All Wednesday One-Liners, Apologies, Beauty, Books & Writing, Central Park, Clerks, Compliments, Friends, Guys, Hipsters, Hitler/Nazis, Kids, KKK, Murder, NYU, On the Subway, One-liners, Parks, Physical appearance, Pictures, Store, Students, Stupidity, Theater, Vampires, Ghouls, and Ghosts, oh my!, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Williamsburg

…Are the Jews Allowed to Sit?

Conductor #1: Please remove your personal belongings from unoccupied seats to allow other passengers to sit.
Conductor #2: Okay, Hitler.

–Amtrak Train, Penn Station

Overheard by: Ames

Posted on January 25, 2010
Conductors, Hitler/Nazis, Penn Station, Public Transportation, Stupidity, Train Station, Trains Not Subway

Nice Wednesday One‐Liners Finish Last

Man on cell: I need attractive girls with low self‐esteem so I can tell them that I understand and then do horrible things to them. This is basic science.

–40^th & 8^th

Overheard by: 13Atlantic

Irate Wall Street guy standing in deli: Everything! Everything! I said “everything bagel,” you fucking waste of life. (to other customers in line) He always does that!

–Beaver & William

Boy, watching Hannah Montana on screen: unless she’s hanging from a rope, I can’t be bothered.

–AMC 7, East Village

Overheard by: agreed

Female in red coat: It’s, like, the Holocaust – get over it! I didn’t even care about it when it first happened.

–Bobst Lobby, NYU

Overheard by: wow.

Posted on December 23, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Anger Management, Beauty, Boys, Comebacks, Compare/Contrast, Customers, Delis, Disney, Food, Girls, Hitler/Nazis, Kink, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Movie Theaters, NYU, On Cell, One-liners, Physical appearance, Psychology, Science, Stupidity, TV, Union Square and East Village, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

Where You’re Given Sponges Instead Of Soap?

Bimbo #1 with yoga mat: Have you ever done the two‐hour boot camp workout thing?
Bimbo #2 with yoga mat: No, but I hear it’s as bad as being in a contraception camp.

–72^nd & Columbus

Posted on November 19, 2009
Bimbettes, Compare/Contrast, Hitler/Nazis, Sports, Stupidity, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Words

I’m Pretty Sure It Was the Mustache

20‐something Midwestern actress type transplant #1: Yeah, I was told by one of my drama teachers once, way back in school, that I had the “passion and commitment to theater” that Hitler had.
(five‐second pause)
20‐something Midwestern actress type transplant #2: Wow!
20‐something Midwestern actress type transplant #1: No, it wasn’t a compliment, she didn’t like me very much.

–Chinese Restaurant, Astoria

Posted on October 26, 2009
Actors, Astoria, Compare/Contrast, Hitler/Nazis, Midwesterners, Restaurants & Cafes, School and studying, Stupidity, Theater & Dance, Weirdness

In What Context Have Armbands Ever Been Bad?

Organizer #1: What about different food options for the luncheon, (thoughtful pause) what about kosher food?
Organizer #2: Good idea, but how will we be able to tell who wants to eat kosher?
University staff: We could just make black armbands with the Star of David on them. (collective gasps in the room) What?

–Columbia University

Overheard by: fdh

Posted on September 22, 2009
Celebrations/Parties, Clerks, Columbia (& Barnard), Columbia University, Food, Hitler/Nazis, Judaism, Kosher food, Questions, Stupidity, Weirdness

Personally, I Would Love to Have an Attic to Play in

Girl #1: I hated Anne frank.
Girl #2: Yeah, she was such a baby.

–Fashion Institute of Technology

Overheard by: Christiaan

Posted on August 6, 2009
College, Girls, Gripes, Hitler/Nazis, Kids, Stupidity

Wednesday One‐Liners Have the Reich Stuff

Fat guy in telephone booth: Yeah, well, Hitler invented the Volkswagen bus.

–7^th Ave & Waverly

Overheard by: Mark Martin

Woman in alpine hat to another: I was not about to drag your half‐conscious ass around a concentration camp!

–Zum Schneider German Restaurant/Bar

Overheard by: Nella

Guy: Jury duty is like the Holocaust. They put you in line and march you into a strange room.

–Off The Wagon Restaurant

Overheard by: thankfully not jewish

Teen boy: Yeah, after I watched that movie I couldn’t talk to German people at all. For like a month afterwards, every time I saw a person who looked German I was like, “you evil, evil Nazi!”

–Bull Statue, Bowling Green

Little boy to friends: And next year, we’re going to assassinate Hitler!

–66^th St & 2^nd Ave

Overheard by: Liz

Posted on June 24, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Cars and Driving, Compare/Contrast, Crime and Punishment, Fat People, Foreigners, Friends, Glad the Condom Broke, Guys, Hitler/Nazis, Kids, Movies, Murder, One-liners, Parks, Physical appearance, Restaurants & Cafes, Street, Stupidity, Teens, The Village, Time, Upper East Side, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

Hitler/Nazis