And Your Point Is…?

Hobo singing: Brooklyn, Bronx, Queens and Staten. From the Battery to the top of Manhattan. [To transit worker] ‘Scuse me, sir. Where we at right now? Brooklyn? Queens? Manhattan?
Transit worker #1: We’re anywhere you wanna be, brother.
Hobo: What borough is this?
Transit worker #2: This is the Bronx.
Hobo: The Bronx?
Transit worker #1: The boogie down.
Hobo: The boogie woogie? [Walks away singing] Boogie woogie oogie ’til ya just can’t boogie no more…
Transit worker #2 to #1: If you just hopped into that train and drove it on time we wouldn’t have to watch him wander around the platform.

–1 train platform, 242nd St

Overheard by: Reggie Vikram

Posted on March 11, 2016
Hobos, NYC Geography, Public Transportation, Subway stations, platforms, etc.

Somebody Make This Into a Wacky Buddy Movie

Cop: Move it along, bub.
Hobo: What? I don’t wanna move, I’m sleeping here.
Cop: I said move it, buddy.
Hobo: Why? I’m not bothering anyone, can I please stay, please, please?
Cop: OK, fine. Stay.
Hobo: I love you.

–Bay Ridge

Overheard by: C. Depp

Posted on March 3, 2016
Brooklyn, Cops, Hobos, Love, Only in New York, Street

Lucifer’s Still One Stylish Ho

Two hobos are checking out a woman walking by.

Hobo #1: You look like an angel fallen from heaven!
Hobo #2: The angel fallen from heaven is the devil!
Hobo #1: Oh…

–Lafayette & Franklin

Posted on February 20, 2016
Beauty, Chinatown, Hobos, Satan

Wednesdiverse Multi-Liners

Soulful black man: Well, think about this. A white man lived in Graceland, a black man lived in Neverland. (nods knowingly)

–Downtown A Train

Overheard by: Bearsian

Gallery director to intern: So after he was arrested we sent a letter to Henry Gates asking him for money, you know, since we are a multicultural organization.

–Lower East Side Art Gallery

Latina to Latino: Latinos and black people can't be racist. That's, like, just white people.

–Red Hook, Brooklyn

White hobo: When I see a black nigger together with a white nigger, that just confuses the hell outta me.

–Houston & Clinton

Woman: She likes black dogs because she's black, and I like white dogs because I'm white.

–Upper West Side

Overheard by: Yehuda

Posted on February 19, 2016
About Celebrities, All Wednesday One-Liners, Black People, Bosses, Brooklyn, Colors, Compare/Contrast, Crime and Punishment, Hobos, Latinos, Lower East Side, Man's Best Friend, Men, Money & Class, Music, On the Subway, One-liners, Race, Stupidity, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wednesday One-Liners, White People, Women

You Inspire Me: Tomorrow I’m Turning to Crime

Lady: Sorry, I don’t have any change.
Hobo: Girl, I don’t want your money. I want your phone number!

–60th & Park

Overheard by: How exactly is he going to call her?

Posted on February 15, 2016
Hobos, Homeless, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Pick-up Lines, Women

Blow It Out Your Wednesday One-Liner

Well-dressed British man on cell, as he walks oddly: Listen girl, I farted so hard yesterday I blasted half my ass off. (pause) No, seriously! I am still walking funny!

–24th St b/w 6th & 7th

Overheard by: Joseph

Teenage boy to another: One time this hot bitch farted on my lap, and I didn't know what to do.

–12th St & University Place

Crazy hobo sitting on blanket: I used to wear underwear, but then I farted and left a stain, so decided no more. Can anyone spare any change?

–87th & Broadway

Overheard by: Nynanny

Girl from Louisiana: What can I say? I'm a Southern girl. I fart crawfish.

–McLean Ave, Yonkers

Woman on phone: Well, the romance is out of my life: this morning Greg came in my mouth, then straight away leaned back and farted.

–Beard St & Van Brunt St, Brooklyn

Overheard by: craig hunter

Posted on February 4, 2016
All Wednesday One-Liners, Ass, BJs, Brits, Brooklyn, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Clothing, Crazies, Farting & Burping, Food, Hobos, Love, Nicknames & name calling, On Cell, One-liners, Panhandling, Questions, Sensory Experiences, Southerners, Teens, The Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

That Poor Blue Muppet Has Really Fallen on Hard Times

Toddler being pushed through park: Music!
Hobo, playing guitar: Give me cookies!

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: Anna P.

Posted on January 28, 2016
Food, Glad the Condom Broke, Hobos, Homeless, Kids, Parks, Singing, Washington Square Park

The Boogieman is Real, and Rides the L

A group of little kids are selling M&Ms on the train, perhaps to raise money for their school’s basketballing team. Homeless black dude with silver teeth enters and proceeds to yell at them.

Hobo: I WANT WHAT’S IN YOUR BELLY! I WANT WHAT’S IN YOUR BELLY!

–L Train

Overheard by: Vickers Bastard Gringo