Black girl #1: I wanna date a white boy. One that looks like a skater.
Black girl #2: No, not me. I want an intellectual, so I could act all ignorant around him and he’d still love me.
–158th & St Nicks
Overheard by: jay r.
Black girl #1: I wanna date a white boy. One that looks like a skater.
Black girl #2: No, not me. I want an intellectual, so I could act all ignorant around him and he’d still love me.
–158th & St Nicks
Overheard by: jay r.
Guy: See you!
Girl: See you!
Guy: I love you!
Girl: You are killing me.
Guy: I ought to kill you.
Girl: What?!
–34th Street Station, B Line
Flamboyant black guy #1: That’s what I love about being gay. All these bitches be loving on me so I get them to do my homework.
Flamboyant black guy #2: True.
–Washington Square North
Thug #1: Did you know her before?
Thug #2: That’s the thing — I just friend-requested her on MySpace the day before the party.
Thug #1 and #3, in unison: True love, nigga.
–McDonald’s, 33rd & 7th
Angry guy in crosswalk: You should get a ticket!
Yielding cyclist, seemingly sincere: I love you!
Angry guy, passing: You should get a ticket!
Cyclist, pedaling off: I love you!
Angry guy, sheepishly: Thank you.
–70th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Andreas
Guy: I love you like I love sliced chicken…
Girl: Huh?
Guy: … And I love sliced chicken.
–Mo Pitkin’s
Fat guy: I love you.
Cute girl: Do you really mean what you say, or are you just saying it?
Fat guy: Of course I mean it. [They make out, then chick leaves.] What a dumb bitch.
–W4 station
Overheard by: Ting
Bimbette to friend: I love him so much! He’s, like, so ugly he’s cute!
–Luna Park, Union Square
Overheard by: Maren
Heartbroken co-ed after Scott Proctor gives up game-tying home run to Blue Jays: Why must you hurt me when I have shown you nothing but love?!
–Yankee Stadium, Section 41, Row E
Overheard by: Bleacher Creature
Old woman: I love all of my sons, but my middle son is one of those freaks of nature.
–1 train
Brit on cell: Shut up! … Well, you’re going to have to shut up and listen to me so I can get others to love you, too!
–M6 bus, Church & Spring
Overheard by: But I love you
Middle-aged hipster lady to boyfriend: You only think about yourself. I love that!
–Bedford Ave
Wailing little kid in leggings: I hate my life! I hate my life!
–N 4th & Bedford, Williamsburg
Overheard by: Alison
Small chick to big guy: What? Hold it. Stop — you just told me that you hate all of my favorite fruits…
–Orchard & Delancey, LES
Dude to chick: The only reason I like you is because you don’t hate me when I fart in your face.
–Hudson & Perry
Hobo: People hate each other… so they get married.
–Platform, 53rd & 5th
Overheard by: Nick
Suit: Ah, young people in love… I hate you all.
–Carl Schultz Park
British lady: It must have eaten some rat poison, because it vomited up its innards and then had just enough strength left to crawl to the door before dying in a dainty pool of blood.
–1 train
Teacher to girl who just cut herself with Exacto knife: Would you stop leaking?! Your blood is going to stain the linoleum!
–Bronx Science engineering class
Overheard by: LSB
Suit on cell: Why isn’t it done? Why isn’t it fucking done? Was it your intention to make my ass bleed today? Was it?
–41st & Broadway
Girl: My grandma always washes my bloody underwear.
–1 train
Guy to girlfriend: Your hair tastes like fake blood.
–Mulberry St
Overheard by: Ashley
Teen chick on cell: I’m going to cut my arm tonight to show you how much I love you! Yes! I’m going to cut it off! Yes! I’m going to wipe all the blood on a napkin and give it to you. How much blood there is is how much I love you… Yes! I! Am! Well, I can’t think of another way to show you how much I love you. I have to prove it somehow! Oh, I have another call, I gotta go.
–Staten Island Ferry Terminal
Overheard by: still recovering
Hobo, taking long drink from water fountain: Ahhh, water is good! It tastes like blood!
–Port Authority
Overheard by: Oh My God
