Little boy: Mommy, I want this!
Mom: Do you want Santa to bring it for you?
Little boy: No, I want you to get it now.
–FAO Schwarz, 5th Avenue
Overheard by: CMC
Little boy: Mommy, I want this!
Mom: Do you want Santa to bring it for you?
Little boy: No, I want you to get it now.
–FAO Schwarz, 5th Avenue
Overheard by: CMC
Guy: I don't think bees even have vaginas.
–23rd & 3rd
Suit to another: I want him scrutinized. At a gnat's ass level!
–Midtown Office
Middle school thug: I been radioactivatin' spiders in my kitchen.
–C Train
Overheard by: Emily B.
Mother to five-year-old boy: No, you can't buy grandma a plastic spider for Christmas!
–74th St & Broadway
Overheard by: Harriet Vane's Husband
Guy on cell: Hey, did I tell you I got drunk last night and ordered 1,500 ladybugs off the internet?
–Brooklyn
Overheard by: Ashley
Daughter, looking at “NJ Transit” sign: Why does it say we’re in New Jersey?!
Mother: Aren’t we?
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Jay
Mom, loudly: Who does mommy love?
Screaming toddler, holding cup in stroller: Tee tee tee!
Mom: Mommy loves the baby! And who's the baby?
Child: Tee tee tee!
Mom: Are you the baby?
(child starts crying)
Mom: Oh, stop that! You're old enough to drink a latte, so quit crying.
–183rd St & Ft. Washington Ave
Overheard by: Anna
Mom: I am telling you, you have to stop chewing your toothbrush to pieces… And now you are on to razors! Your stomach is going to explode like Anna’s.
20-ish daughter: That’s because Anna eats pussy.
Mom, smacking daughter on the head: Well, the next stop is Dyckman. Do you want to get out there and have your stomach explode, too?
–1 train, 207th St
Three-year-old tripping as train leaves platform: Jesus Christ!
Mother: Derek! … Did you learn that from church, or from when Mommy gets mad at Daddy?
–B train
Overheard by: Mike DS
Little boy watching a man: What the fuck?
Mother, reading a newspaper: You better watch your mouth today, little boy!
Little boy: But mommy, he keeps banging his head on the pole!
Mother, watching the man: What the fuck?
–F Train
Overheard by: It looked painful.
Adolescent mother to four-year-old daughter: Look at your sexy legs… you got a sexy body.
(10 minutes later)
Adolescent mother to four-year-old daughter: You gonna fall and crack ya fuckin head open.
–LIRR
Overheard by: dr. positive washington
Mom, visibly winded and tired : Why are we walking so much?
30-something daughter: To work up an appetite for dinner.
Mom: Dead people don't eat.
–Christopher & Bleecker
Girl #1: When I’m older and I’m pregnant, I hope I’m standing when my water breaks cause I don’t want the baby to come down and, like, drown.
Girl #2: My Mom went down in a gutter with me.
–B44 bus
