Girl: What kind of movie do you suggest?
Gay employee: Oh, a romantic comedy.
Girl: That’s gay.
Gay employee: I know!
–Lowes on Broadway
Overheard by: B
Girl: What kind of movie do you suggest?
Gay employee: Oh, a romantic comedy.
Girl: That’s gay.
Gay employee: I know!
–Lowes on Broadway
Overheard by: B
Guy #1: Aw, man, have you seen March of the Penguins? That movie was horrible. Couldn’t get through it.
Girl: I saw that. I got double-banged to it… I kinda like getting double-banged by two attractive guys, y’know? [Men stop walking and look at each other.]Guy #2: Dude, that’s gross. I’m gonna have to ask you to leave. Wow.
–70th & 2nd
Flamboyantly gay guy to gay friends: Why do I have to be the queen? Why can’t I just be regular?!
–Christopher Street
Overheard by: JMcheer
Queer to another: I just want to bury my face in his ass!
–67th & Park Ave
Gay guy on cell: Oooh! I love playing straight!
–1st Ave, East Village
Overheard by: B
Stressed gay worker: They always skip over my lunch break. Everyone else gets their lunch breaks but they always skip over mine. Ugh. Guys, I’m gonna take my 15 minutes. I’m taking my 15 minutes. I close tonight… Ugh, this is not the road to success! (storms off)
–H&M Store
Overheard by: nyu kid
Queer to boyfriend: You know Romy and Michelle? I love that movie… That movie made me gay.
–Restaurant, 19th & 8th
Overheard by: batou187
Queer on cell: I know… I know! Gosh, that is sooo gay!
(bewildered elderly lady looks at him)
Queer to elderly lady (in shrieking voice): Oh my god, oh my god, the faggot said gay!
–Central Park
White woman: Do you have a middle name?
Black guy: James. James Bond.
White woman: What?
Black guy: James Bond.
White woman: You’re fired!
–Broadway & Cortlandt
Overheard by: Stephie Russell
Cashier: I’m sorry, but weren’t you in that movie? With Kevin Costner?
Joan Allen: Yes, The Upside of Anger. Thanks.
Cashier: I knew it was you! Last time you was in here I kept staring ’cause I knew it was you — remember, I was staring at you? You was so good in that!
Joan Allen: Oh, thank you, I’m glad you enjoyed it [pays and leaves].
Cashier to next lady in line: Yeah, last time she was in here I stared at her forever — she must have thought I was crazy.
Lady in line: What movie was she in?
Cashier: ‘The Other Side… of the Angel,’ with Kevin Costner! She was that lady!
Lady in line: I never saw that movie. I thought she was on Lost. I thought she was the lady on Lost — you know, the teacher.
Cashier: Nah, she was in that movie! ‘The Other Side of the Angel.’
Lady in line: The Upside of Anger?
Cashier: No! It’s called ‘The Other Side of the Angel,’ look it up!
Lady in line: Oh. Never seen it.
–Duane Reade, 94th & Broadway
Overheard by: Caro
Boyfriend: So you went home, drank two Smirnoff Ices, watched Harry Potter one and a half times, and masturbated twice?
Girlfriend: Yep.
–City Hall Park
Headline by: Lord Pervdevert
Runners-Up:
· “Nice.” – ImmaculatePizza
· “And That’s Why You Couldn’t Meet My Parents?” – Gerard
· “Best 13th Birthday Ever” – downtown
· “Just Another Night for JK Rowling” – Suzy
· “Rookie” – 6th Floor Blogger
· “Underage or Underloved?” – em
Young chubby girl: Oh, gosh! Another book with Taylor Lautner on the cover!
Young skinny girl, confused: What?
Young chubby girl: Taylor Lautner is on the cover of another book. You know? The guy from Twilight!
(long pause)
Young skinny girl: What?
–Barnes & Noble, Union Square
Latina #1: That was the worst movie ever.
Latina #2: It was, kinda. But we saw the other one for free.
–Regal Movie Theater, Union Square
Overheard by: A&P
Dude: What’s that movie — the one with the ghosts on the ship?
Chick: Ghost Ship?
Dude: Maybe.
–Kingsborough Community College
Overheard by: Lotte
Child #1: … Make you join the dark side.
Field trip chaperone: And what exactly is the dark side, Christopher?
Child #1: It’s Darth Vader.
Child #2: No, it ain’t! The dark side is when you’re wearing basketball shorts and nothing underneath.
–Crowded 6 train
Overheard by: Tea
