White woman: Do you have a middle name?
Black guy: James. James Bond.
White woman: What?
Black guy: James Bond.
White woman: You’re fired!
–Broadway & Cortlandt
Overheard by: Stephie Russell
White woman: Do you have a middle name?
Black guy: James. James Bond.
White woman: What?
Black guy: James Bond.
White woman: You’re fired!
–Broadway & Cortlandt
Overheard by: Stephie Russell
Cashier: I’m sorry, but weren’t you in that movie? With Kevin Costner?
Joan Allen: Yes, The Upside of Anger. Thanks.
Cashier: I knew it was you! Last time you was in here I kept staring ’cause I knew it was you — remember, I was staring at you? You was so good in that!
Joan Allen: Oh, thank you, I’m glad you enjoyed it [pays and leaves].
Cashier to next lady in line: Yeah, last time she was in here I stared at her forever — she must have thought I was crazy.
Lady in line: What movie was she in?
Cashier: ‘The Other Side… of the Angel,’ with Kevin Costner! She was that lady!
Lady in line: I never saw that movie. I thought she was on Lost. I thought she was the lady on Lost — you know, the teacher.
Cashier: Nah, she was in that movie! ‘The Other Side of the Angel.’
Lady in line: The Upside of Anger?
Cashier: No! It’s called ‘The Other Side of the Angel,’ look it up!
Lady in line: Oh. Never seen it.
–Duane Reade, 94th & Broadway
Overheard by: Caro
Boyfriend: So you went home, drank two Smirnoff Ices, watched Harry Potter one and a half times, and masturbated twice?
Girlfriend: Yep.
–City Hall Park
Headline by: Lord Pervdevert
Runners-Up:
· “Nice.” – ImmaculatePizza
· “And That’s Why You Couldn’t Meet My Parents?” – Gerard
· “Best 13th Birthday Ever” – downtown
· “Just Another Night for JK Rowling” – Suzy
· “Rookie” – 6th Floor Blogger
· “Underage or Underloved?” – em
Young chubby girl: Oh, gosh! Another book with Taylor Lautner on the cover!
Young skinny girl, confused: What?
Young chubby girl: Taylor Lautner is on the cover of another book. You know? The guy from Twilight!
(long pause)
Young skinny girl: What?
–Barnes & Noble, Union Square
Latina #1: That was the worst movie ever.
Latina #2: It was, kinda. But we saw the other one for free.
–Regal Movie Theater, Union Square
Overheard by: A&P
Dude: What’s that movie — the one with the ghosts on the ship?
Chick: Ghost Ship?
Dude: Maybe.
–Kingsborough Community College
Overheard by: Lotte
Child #1: … Make you join the dark side.
Field trip chaperone: And what exactly is the dark side, Christopher?
Child #1: It’s Darth Vader.
Child #2: No, it ain’t! The dark side is when you’re wearing basketball shorts and nothing underneath.
–Crowded 6 train
Overheard by: Tea
Drunk tourist guy #1 to guy on movie set: Hey, what are they filming?
Guy on movie set: Arthur.
Drunk tourist guy #1: Cool! With Dudley Moore?
Drunk tourist guy #2: Dudley Moore is dead, you fucking idiot!
–Park Ave & 51st St
Overheard by: Annie
Drunk guy: King Kong ain’t got nothing on God almighty!
Sober girl: Stop touching me, you dirty old man.
Drunk guy: I ain’t touching you, woman.
Sober girl: I don’t do trash.
Drunk guy: That’s why I wanchu.
–Q train
Overheard by: Ted Danger, esq.
Tourist dude: I would really like to go see Kevin’s uncle’s house.
Girl: Who?
Dude: You know, Kevin from “Home Alone 2”, I am sure the house is all renovated now.
–Columbus Circle
Overheard by: jlovely
