Movies

Mother to tween daughter, smiling: So I heard you saw a porn film with Tina* and her mother?
Daughter: Yeah, we went into Bruno and decided to leave after five minuets.
Mother: What did you end up doing?
Daughter: We saw Ice Age instead.

–ShopRite

Overheard by: Carrie

30-something man to girlfriend: I liked it. I mean, it really made me think: if twenty years from now I went in a hot tub and was transported back to today, what would I tell myself to do with my life?

–23rd St & 7th Ave

Overheard by: drose

Dad to teenage children: I wouldn't see Twilight if my life depended on it. If I had to choose, I would choose to die.

–Times Square

Acting professor: Did you see how Brando picked up her glove? He wanted her to stay. Do you ever do that? Take someone's things just so you know they'll come back? (dead silence) Guess you kids just aren't devious like me…

–Tisch School of the Arts

Older man to ticket salesman: Are Precious and The Rocky Horror Picture Show a double feature?

–Clearview Cinema, Chelsea

Teen girl #1, walking by poster for Vanessa Hudgens news movie: There's that high school girl, playing the exact same role but in a different film.
Teen girl #2, very seriously: Life after High School Musical is never pretty.

–Times Square

Old lady to friend: You know who I feel sorry for? Yoko Ono.

–Central Park West

Female suit on cell: I once gave Carrot Top a massage.

–UCB Theater

Overheard by: Robert

Ghetto girl on cell: I know you ain't no Jay Leno and I don't speak Avatar!

–Fort Greene

Sober guy to drunk older guy: You know what you look like?? You look like a fucked-up Bobby Brown.

–3 Train

Woman at outdoor cafe: She's not that bad, she's more Snooki than Fran Drescher.

–Brooklyn

Overheard by: Rick

Five-year-old girl: My favorite part of the movie was the naked man!
Mother: Mine too, mama.
Five-year-old girl: Naked maaaaaaaan!
Father: Make her stop.

–Park Avenue & 25th St

20-something thug #1: Naw, she only wanna watch Lindsay Lohan movies!
20-something thug #2: That ain't right, man. That ain't right…

–87th St & 3rd Ave

Overheard by: are we talking Parent Trap or Inferno?

Patient stranger: You don't know who Christopher Walken is? Let's see… He was in Wedding Crashers.
Jersey blonde: Oh, you mean Bradley Cooper?
Patient stranger: No… He was the Senator.
Jersey blonde: Oh, you mean Vince Vaughn!
Patient stranger: No. Vince Vaughn played Vince Vaughn.

–PATH Train

Teen #1: I can't believe you've never seen Rejected. It's all over the internet. You quote it all the time!
Teen #2: I do?
Teen #1: Yeah! “My spoon is too big!”
Random guy several seats away: “My anus is bleeding!”
Teen #1: Yaaaay!
Random guy: Now everyone on the train is staring at me like.Who is that weirdo? Except for you.
Teen #2, a minute later: What did he say about his anus?

–1 Train

Overheard by: Rose Fox

Guy: Matt is making me watch Schindler's List.
Girl: I like the part where they kill the Jews.
Guy: Yes, that's a very well-executed scene.

–91st & 3rd

Fat suit during movie, about fur coat on screen: Do you want one of those?
Girl half his age: No, I don't really like fur.

–Regal Cinema 14

Overheard by: Mark