Mother: We're going across the park! The park is wet!
Two-year-old daughter: Where are we going?
Mother: To the Guggenheim museum. We're going to see art.
Two-year-old daughter: Noooooo.
Mother: You'll like it. Can you say “Kandinsky”?
Two-year-old daughter: Bounce bounce bounce!
Mother: Just look at the damn park.
–M86 Bus
Tourist, pointing across the street: Why is it called The Container Store?
Local: Because they have a lot of containers.
Tourist: Like a Tupperware party?
–6th Ave & 18th St
Overheard by: janine
Woman to customer service rep: Thanks, Linda.
Customer service rep: My name is Linda.
–42nd St & Madison Ave
Thug #1, sneaking into movie: Yo, who is this bitch?
Thug #2: It's Nancy Drew!
–Movie Theater, Staten Island
Woman #1: Have you ever heard of Feng Shui?
Woman #2: I've heard of him but haven't heard him.
–55th St & Ave of the Stars
Overheard by: Michael
Jewish senior girl #1: My grandpa died. His name was hymen!
Jewish senior girl #2, laughing: Your grandpa's name was hymen! (pause) Wait… my grandpa's name was hymen. My hymen died.
Jewish senior girl #1: (silence)
Jewish senior girl #2: I meant my grandpa.
Sophomore boy: I feel like I just sinned.
–Bx10 Bus
Overheard by: luckily yom kippur was coming up
Honest woman: I have no maternal instinct. If I had young, I would eat them.
–Artepasta Restaurant
Overheard by: subway phantom
Girl: That wasn't my idea! My idea was cannibalism!
–College of Staten Island
Overheard by: Green Star
Girl to another: Can I nibble your butt for a minute?
–Hunter High School
Overheard by: uh oh
Mets fan, yelling at opposing team's right fielder: Don't you look at me, number 47! I'll eat your eyeballs!
–Citifield
Overheard by: Jonathan Abraham
Guy on cell: What do you think about "Horace W. Cannibal?"
–6th & 27th
Overheard by: Eve
Chick #1: Would Bruce Springsteen be under “b” or “s”?
Chick #2: Duh! “b”! Baaah-ruce!
–Virgin Megastore, Times Square
Overheard by: DawllyLlama
Toddler, crouching over snail: I have a sister.
Teenage girl: Oh, what's her name?
Toddler: Snail.
Teenage girl: No, what's your sister's name?
Toddler: Snail.
–Bay Terrace
Gluttony
Cashier lady: Damn, thank the Lord it's Friday! I'ma go to the heights and get me some margaritas and some quesadittas and get drunk and fat and happy. Damn!
–Duane Reade
Overheard by: Sam
Lust
Woman to male friend: Oh, that sucks! I'm such a whore…
–5th Ave & 12th St
Greed
Teenager on school field trip eating sushi and talking to chaperon: Daddy, can I borrow some money for the gift shop? My credit card is down to its last $200.
–Metropolitan Museum of Art Cafe
Sloth
Hipster, seeing that there was construction on the train: Ugh, what are we–going to have to walk places now?
–L Train
Wrath
Library staff: Group study room people, we know who you are. Because we have your IDs. Please come downstairs and pick them up so we don't have to unleash our wrath on you.
–Brooklyn College Library
Envy
Two woman walking tall dog: I mean… can you believe that I used to carry him in my Givenchy bag and wrap him in cashmere as a puppy? I would be jealous!
–Bleecker & Spring
Pride
Girl, grabbing her ass: Don't you just love my ass? My ass rocks. I love my ass!
–Battery Park
