Guy on cell: Yeah, our lives suck but at least John Kerry was elected President. Oh, wait! I have to hang up now and go kill myself.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Alice Ayers
Guy on cell: Yeah, our lives suck but at least John Kerry was elected President. Oh, wait! I have to hang up now and go kill myself.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Alice Ayers
Chick on cell: Yeah, it was huge! They did it like twice, and she had to stay home from work the next day. She’s still sore. Now I’m supposed to see him tonight, and I don’t know what to do…OK, Mom! I’ll talk to you later!
–Midtown
A hipster girl, walking down Bedford Ave in Williamsburg, talking on her cell phone:
“I didn’t realize what a good boyfriend Matt was…. yeah… he’s too nice, too together, too in touch with his emotions… his only problem is that he doesn’t smoke pot.”
Guy on cell: I’m going to kill you, and it’s going to hurt. You know that, right?…I’m not talking shit!
–Duane Reade, 44th & 5th
Woman on phone: No, my nose isn’t big by New York standards, but in Texas it’s huge.
–Midtown office
Hip Hop Guy on cell: I’ll just keep my nuts shaved and everything’ll be fine.
–Varick Street
Coffee guy on phone: I’m not talking about whacking off, I’m talking about fried chicken!
–Alt.coffee, Avenue A
Overheard by: Dibson Hoffweiler
Guy into cell: Uh huh, he knows it’s an 8-track, right? He knows how to work with one of those?…Now listen. I want to make this crystal clear. I want to make sure that he fully understands what I’m about to say. There is to be no sucking dick before studio time. Does he understand this?
–8th St. & Greene
Overheard by: PSL
Businesswoman on cell: If you told me she was 75 or 76, I’d say she looks fabulous. If you told me she was 73, I’d say she isn’t aging well at all.
–M101 bus
Black man in suit and expensive loafers, on cell: Bring me the box, unopened. (cackles) Bring it to me.
–1 Train
Overheard by: Samantha
Petite Asian woman on cell: And that's when I'll cut off his penis!
–East Village
Overheard by: Katie
Guy in the middle of group photo: Okay, now everybody take your cocks out.
–The Luxor Hotel, Columbus & 81st St
Loud matronly woman on cell, exasperated: Whose penis was on your thing?
–3rd & 16th
Overheard by: Joe & Eliz
Young lesbian on cell: She kept yelling "penis!" the whole time we were doing it… Should I call her?
–Long Island City
Overheard by: Sunny
