Chick #1: You know how they say Chinese people are yellow? Like, yellow-skinned?
Chick #2: Yeah.
Chick #1: Then how come they always look so pale? Like, that girl from House of Flying Daggers is totally pale.
Chick #2: But she’s in a house of, like, flying daggers. I’d be pale.
–6 train
Dude: So, I saw this girl yesterday who had the most beautiful nose…
Chick: Really?
Dude: Yeah, I’ve had dreams about this same nose since 1986. I never thought it would happen, but I’m so glad it did.
Chick: Wow. What did she look like?
Dude: I don’t know. I didn’t get a good look at her face.
–G train, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Via
Big black lady #1: Have you been to that new Queens mall?
Big black lady #2: No.
Big black lady #1: Half the people be shoppin’, half of ’em be watchin’ people, and I don’t even know ’bout the other half. It gets so damn crowded!
–1 train
Overheard by: No Kidding
Guy #1: Welcome to Earth. [Guy #2 doesn’t hear him.] Welcome to Earth.
Guy #2: What?
Guy #1: Are you okay? You from around here?
Guy #2: Yeah, I’m fine.
Guy #1: Okay, that’s good. Welcome to Earth. [Guy #2 leaves.] Asshole.
–C train
Overheard by: Ray
Mother: Honey, save the cookies for later.
Little girl: You’re so mean! I’m gonna sell you on eBay!
–6 train, 59th St
Overheard by: effie
Dude: If I wasn’t getting married in a month, this would be the part where I introduce myself and ask you out on a date.
Chick: Oh.
Dude: I just thought you might like that.
–Q train
Overheard by: Morgan
Intercom hijacker #1 playing rap music: All aboard, all aboard…
Intercom hijacker #2: I wanna give a shout-out to my nigga, Antoine…
Intercom hijacker #1: And my nigga Ruiz…
Conductor: If you do not get off this intercom, I will have you arrested at the next stop!
Intercom hijacker #1: Whatever, nigga. Y’all on this train can suck a dick.
Intercom hijacker #2: Y’all can die.
Intercom hijacker #1: Yeah. Y’all can die… on a dick.
–6 train
Overheard by: pberg
Girl #1: Is she sort of South American-looking? Brown hair, darker skin?
Girl #2: Ummm, she wasn’t so much South American-looking as just black.
–A train
Overheard by: Joe
Asian guy: Also, Freddie Mercury didn’t deserve to die.
Black guy: I’m okay with him dead. He was gay, he fucked around, he had AIDS — he deserved to die.
Asian guy: So, you are saying that people who sleep around too much deserve to die? I sleep around. Do I deserve to die?
Black guy: … Yes.
–E train
Overheard by: Ting
Ugly frat boy #1: Dude, you’re right — your sister is very mannish. She looks like a cross between you and Ben.
Ugly frat boy #2: Yeah, I like it that way.
–R train, Park Slope
