Guy to buddies: This chick was so ugly I wouldn’t want to cum on her face.
–Off the Wagon
Guy to buddies: This chick was so ugly I wouldn’t want to cum on her face.
–Off the Wagon
Hipster chick: I am so glad my ex-boyfriend and I have become friends again. I mean, I know he sued me and everything, but it just feels so good.
–Brooklyn Lyceum
Man: Isn’t “volvo” the medical term for a vagina?
–Jacob Javits Center
Overheard by: Tesla
Chick on cell: I woke up the next morning and there was a thong that said “eat me” on it in my bag!
–Warren Hall, Columbia Law School
Queer: This place is way gayer than last time.
–XL, West 16th street
Overheard by: straight girl
Dude: I’ve fired 3 people in the last 2 weeks. One girl was fat. But she didn’t know it. She would come into work with her belly falling out of her shirt. I just couldn’t take it anymore.
–NYSC, 38th & Broadway
Overheard by: Aimee
Woman: I’m never going to be in the “in crowd” because the “in crowd” are all molecular biologists and have labs.
–F train
Overheard by: Eric Wrenn
Teacher lady: Kids, kids…Quiet! Remember, no one else on this train likes children!
–F train
Overheard by: Erin Schulte
Suit: When you’re 25 and you measure your hourly rate in three digits it takes a hell of a lot of grief to not make it worthwhile.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Gabriel Stempinski
Guy: Yeah, it’s like all three of our neurons are coming together right now.
–Hunter College
Overheard by: Phe
