Nobody Puts Wednesday One-Liner in the Corner!

Blonde white girl to another: And I was all like, "I'm not throwing the baby over the fence!"

–Spring St

Overheard by: Maria Emma

Girl to mother: Oh, look at daddy with the baby in one hand and the bottle of bourbon in the other. And in the morning, too!

–Williamsburg

Condom vendor: Obama and McCain election special condoms! 3 for $10 and 1 for $5, all cheaper than a baby!

–Times Square

Overheard by: Aalok

Mom with stroller to friend: She's incapacitated already, so she might as well have his baby.

–6th Ave & 4th St

Posted on August 6, 2018
Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Babies, Compare/Contrast, Condoms, Drinking & Drunk People, For Sale, Friends, Girls, Health and Hygiene, Kids, Moms, One-liners, Parents, Politics, Pregnancy & Birth Control, Soho, Street, Stupidity, The Village, Time, Times Square, Vendors & Street Performers, Violence, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, White People, Williamsburg

Well, ‘Hotel’ Means ‘Bar’ and ‘Girls’ Means ‘Boys’

Queer #1 on cell: Hey, Dad! Yeah, I’m at the hotel in Midtown right now… Yep, it’s just me… I think a couple of girls are coming over later… Haha, yeah, you know how I roll with them. I’ll talk to you later, Dad [hangs up].
Queer #2: Liar, liar, pants on fire!

–Broadway & Broome

Overheard by: django

Posted on August 1, 2018
Lies, Parents, Queer guys, Sexuality, Soho

Wednesday One-Liner Ink

Girl to friend: She has a Shakespeare quote tattooed on her body, so she must be smart.

–Bleecker St

Overheard by: Lyssa

Middle aged dude to another: That fucken bitch, man. I wish I had her on a t-shirt instead of on my chest and back.

–Prince & Lafayette

Slightly ghetto white girl on cell: What happens when a bug bites you on your tattoo?

–D Train

Overheard by: 4-dumb

Tourist grandmother to eight-year-old granddaughter: Do, do you like mommy's new neck tattoo? (pause) Yeah, me neither.

–Times Square

Overheard by: Jas

Posted on July 22, 2018
All Wednesday One-Liners, Body Parts, Books & Writing, Clothing, Compare/Contrast, Families, Friends, Girls, Guys, Health and Hygiene, Insects, Insults, Kids, Old People, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Parents, Physical appearance, Questions, Soho, Street, Stupidity, Tattoos, The Village, Times Square, Tourists, Wednesday One-Liners, Wiggers, Wishes & desires

Clone-Boy Is Filled With Jealous Rage

Guy hitting on girl: So where are you from?
Disinterested girl: New York.
Guy hitting on girl: No, where are you originally from?
Disinterested girl: My parents.

–East Village Bar

Posted on July 16, 2018
Bars & Clubs, Girls, Guys, Parents, Pick-up Lines, Questions, Union Square and East Village

I’m Thinking Psych Majors

Preppy girl #1: So my mom was like, “I’m serious, stop being a retard or I’ll send you back.”
Preppy girl #2: Really? She’d send you back?
Preppy girl #1: Yeah, for being a retard. What the fuck.
Preppy girl #2: I dunno, man. What the fuck.

–Barnard college

Overheard by: Alix Griffith-Rand

Posted on July 11, 2018
Columbia (& Barnard), Nicknames & name calling, Parents, Preppies, Stupidity

I Just Felt That Stella Could've Been Given a More Emotionally-Challenging Role

Trendy young mom #1: Well, everyone wants their kid to guest-appear on Sesame Street.
Trendy young mom #2: Oh, yeah?

–2nd Floor, MoMA

Overheard by: Krashaunda

Posted on June 16, 2018
Fashionistas, Kids, MoMA, Moms, Parents, Questions, TV, Wishes & desires

Who’s Your Daddy?

Man: Ay, Mami, looking good today…
Woman: Can’t you see I am with my son?
Little boy: You’re his mommy too?

–14th & 3rd

Overheard by: Constantino

Posted on June 11, 2018
Manhattan, Parents, Pick-up Lines, Should've Used a Condom, Union Square and East Village

Or It's That LSD Tab We Just Split

Southern tourist boy: Mommy! Look at the tops of the tall buildings… It looks like the clouds are standing still and the buildings are moving!
Mom: That's because the earth is turning so quickly, sweetie.

–Rockefeller Center

Overheard by: Bill O.

Posted on May 28, 2018
Compare/Contrast, Kids, Moms, Parents, Rockefeller Center, Science, Tourists

Six Wednesday One-Liners Under

Girl on phone: Did he actually try to kill you, or is this like the time at the supermarket when you thought the cashier was coming onto you because he touched your hand giving you change?

–Time Square

HR person: I don't want to whack her until I have to. But I probably will.

–Broadway

Little boy to mom: Mommy, what does it feel like to die?

–7th & Carroll, Park Slope

Well-dressed man on cell: I know, we need to make sure that none of them live.

–8th St & Broadway

Seven-year-old girl to mom, after being scolded: I'm going to kill you.

–4 Train

Long Island woman: Well, sure, it's a great place if you want to be raped and murdered every day.

–LIRR

Overheard by: Cori

Posted on May 23, 2018
All Wednesday One-Liners, Body Parts, Clerks, Death, Girls, Kids, Men, Moms, Money & Class, Murder, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Paranoia, Parents, Park Slope, Punch, Questions, Rape, Sensory Experiences, Should've Used a Condom, Street, The Village, Threats, Times Square, Trains Not Subway, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Women

And Technically I Think She Outsources to the Maid

Girl #1: Oh my god! I can't believe my mom only got a B+ on my history paper.
Girl #2: Well, I can't believe your mom does your schoolwork and writes your papers for you. Don't you ever feel guilty?
Girl #1: Umm…no. Since she's, like, paying for my college and stuff, then it's only fair that she gets to do the work.

–SoHo

Posted on May 11, 2018
Fakes, Girls, Money & Class, Parents, Questions, School and studying, Soho, Weirdness

Parents