Son: Dad, can I squirt that in my face?
Dad: How many times do I have to tell you? No means no!
–Prospect Park
Overheard by: bri b
Girl #1: So yeah, he's been telling my mom every time I fuck up.
Girl #2: Ugh. How old is he, even?
Girl #1: Like 40, maybe 50-ish.
Girl #2: So why, like, do you just not tell him to fuck off?
Girl #1: I want to, but he's been acting all bad-ass since he got cancer.
–Greenpoint YMCA
Overheard by: Anwar
Mother to preschool-aged child: That's the New York Stock Exchange. That's where we lose all our money.
–Outside NYSE
Overheard by: Angel
Man to four-shoe-pair-buying wife: It's people like you who confuse the economists.
–Macy's
Toll booth operator to chick in car during rush hour: So, what's your take on the economy these days?
–Verrazano Bridge
Young dudes, watching suits take Queens train at 9 am: Oooh! They got fired.
–7 Train
Overheard by: Only in Brooklyn
Mom: You poor hungry boy… I’ll make dinner for you as soon as we get home.
Six-year-old son, sullenly: Okay.
Mom: Do you want macaroni and cheese? How about pasta? I can make you those little nuggets. [Son shakes his head.] Oh, is it the other kind of hunger? Do you have to poop? [Son nods.]
–Elevator, Washington Heights
Overheard by: Morgan
Sweet little boy: Look, mommy, that boy has a bike just like mine!!
Huge Jamaican mom: Get on the damn elevator and shut up! (pause) And just so you know, this is how hot it's gonna be when we go to the island, so you better get used to it now.
–D Train
Little boy: Mom, can I download you?
–Barnes & Noble, Astor Place
Friend #1: It smells like green beans on this train!
Friend #2: Your mom smells like green beans.
Friend #1: (pauses) I know.
–F Train
Daughter: I feel bad for you, but not that bad.
Mother: You're a little bitch, honey.
Daughter: You just called me a bitch!
Mother: But I said “honey” afterward.
–Kane St
Thug #1: I heard he’s in some shit. Married, two kids, child support,
a wife, girl on the side, and she just found out about his boyfriend.
Thug #2: Yeah, that’s some shit.
–15th & 3rd
Overheard by: Garrett Ricciardi
Mother: What do you mean by “she's obsessed with him”?
Five-year-old daughter: Cause she's all like…up his butt!
–Staten Island
Overheard by: Green Star
