Little girl: Mommy! Is that Times Square!? I see lights, mommy! It's Times Square!
Mommy: Umm… Where, honey? We're not there yet.
Little girl: Yes, we are! Look, mommy! Look at the lights! Peep World, mommy! Peep World!
–33rd St & 7th Ave
Overheard by: I want that to be my kid.
Thirtysomething mom on cell: That boy of your is too fat. [Pause] Well, you keep feeding him hamburgers. That’s why he has titties. He’s an A-cup.
–M15 bus
Girl #1: Yeah, it sucked. The first time I had sex was in the projects. It was just this random guy and he was like “wanna go to my house?” So I did, and we had sex. But then I didn't know that when you had sex for the first time you bleed a lot, right? So like I was bleeding everywhere. And I didn't notice. And all these random people were like “ew!”. And I was sitting on Brandon's couch, and he was like “what's that?” And I'm like “Uh, your sister's crayon.” So then they were all sitting on it, and fucking around on it…
Girl #2: Ewwwwwww!
Girl #1: Coz she left crayons on the couch. But then the next day his mom came! And like, boys don't get periods.
–104th & West End
Black girl: Would you look at that white cracka?
Lighter-skinned black girl: Bitch, you could be just as white as I am because you don't even know who your daddy is.
–Times Square
Brunette: I think that's why I don't have any girlfriends. It's just… I'm so tired of apologizing for being in med school and being so smart. And I think people really resent me. But I've been talking with my mom, and we've come to the realization that I have low self esteem.
Friend: Yeah, you talk about med school a lot.
–50th & 9th
Overheard by: Natalie
Girl #1: So then he shot his dad, because his dad was beating on his mom.
Girl #2: Okay.
Girl #1: Um, it’s sort of okay, but it sort of isn’t.
–B train
Tourist dad: Oh my god, why does it say Grand Central? Guys, get off the train! Why is it Grand Central?
Chick: If you’re trying to go to Times Square just wait on that platform.
Tourist dad: No, we’re trying to go to Grand Central Station.
Chick: Um, well, you’re here.
Tourist dad: Grand Central Terminal? How is it Grand Central?
–7 train
Female NYU student: Like, my mom went to NYU. Like, when it was real.
Male student: Yeah, my dad went to NYU.
Female NYU student: Like, before Stern was called Stern, and it got shut down by the government because it was like, communist.
Female NYU student: I haven't showered in like, two days. I like, stink. I can smell myself.
–Cooper Square
Overheard by: saucy jade
Ghetto gay boy: So Sophia* got some video of her on the internet givin' head to her ex man.
Not so ghetto gay boy: Yeah? That sucks.
Ghetto gay boy: Yeah, I told her yo, you better not let your son see that shit.
–Norman Ave, Greenpoint
Overheard by: Why would he be looking?
Seven or eight-year-old boy: Daddy, who owns ESPN?
Dad: Disney.
Boy: The man or the place?
Dad: Well, actually, the corporation. They own lots of things. Like, they own the Disney Channel, and the History Channel, and Lifetime, and then they own Disneyworld, and the Disney movie studio, and…
Mom, with little sister in her lap: Oh, for crying out loud, enough.
Dad: . . .which makes The Little Mermaid and The Lion King, and The Lion King on Broadway, and they own ABC, too. And a bunch of publishing stuff.
Boy [after a beat]: What about ESPN2?
Dad: That, too.
Boy: All the ESPNs? All four?
Father: Yeah, now there’s some valuable intellectual property, huh?
–Fascati Pizza, Henry St., Brooklyn Heights
