Mom: Well, I’m going to church tomorrow.
Daughter: Say hi to Jesus for me. Grandma, you’re not going?
Grandma: I stopped going when the priest stopped telling dirty jokes.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: djlindee
Mom: Well, I’m going to church tomorrow.
Daughter: Say hi to Jesus for me. Grandma, you’re not going?
Grandma: I stopped going when the priest stopped telling dirty jokes.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: djlindee
Teen girl #1: …he like kissed me and never called!
Teen girl #2: Shit…
Teen girl #1: My mother always say to me, “You gotta have a back up, you gotta have a back up!”
Teen girl #2: Yo.
Teen girl #1: But look at her, she like fuckin’ four guys at the same time, and it don’t do her no good.
–Port Authority
Overheard by: Hairy Toe
JAP, reflecting: I think I might be a drug dealer.
–Spot’s Café
JAP: Yeah! I went to Israel this summer! And they all looked at me like I was an idiot! They don’t have Uggs there… They don’t have burgers… They don’t have loosies!
–Hunter College
Jappy teen: I’ve never done anything for society and I’ve done just fine.
–University & 12th
JAP: Bitch, "Jewish" is a religion!
–17th & 6th
NYU JAP: I told my dad that I couldn’t go to the scholarship fair because I had to get my nails done, and I think we’re still in a fight!
–Goddard Hall, NYU Dorm
Overheard by: Maya G.
Jappy girl to friend: [Sighs.] I’m losing faith in humanity, one orgasm at a time.
–1 Train
Overheard by: Ponine
Ghettomama: My son’s favorite color used to be red, because his father is a Blood, but I’ve gotten him out of that. Now it’s blue, and his father is going nuts.
–30th & 5th
8-year-old boy: But why does your mom want to get so many tattoos?
–94th between Broadway & Amsterdam
Serious 40-something man to five-year-old girl: So why do I always have to be the one to buy dinner?
–8th Ave & 44th St
Overheard by: Dean
Mother to toddler: Why you always gotta sing Barney? Always Barney! You are so annoying! I'm sick of Barney.
–1 Train
Middle-aged Jewish man to eleven-year-old girl: But I don't think you have to worry about that, Talia, because there are very few Zoroastrians around these days.
–93rd & Broadway
Ghetto father making out with ghetto girl, to two-year-old tugging at his jeans: Nigga, stop cock-blockin me!
–Fordham Road
Overheard by: Laura
Angry mom to eight-year-old son: When I find that brick, you're in big trouble!
–Kane St & Clinton St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Phycobilins
Emphatic mom to child holding her hand: You've gotta hold my hand! I'm forty-six years old and I still hold my mommy's hand! I'm forty-six years old! So you've gotta hold my hand!
–50th & 9th
Overheard by: Christiana Little
Little girl: Mommy! Is that Times Square!? I see lights, mommy! It's Times Square!
Mommy: Umm… Where, honey? We're not there yet.
Little girl: Yes, we are! Look, mommy! Look at the lights! Peep World, mommy! Peep World!
–33rd St & 7th Ave
Overheard by: I want that to be my kid.
Thirtysomething mom on cell: That boy of your is too fat. [Pause] Well, you keep feeding him hamburgers. That’s why he has titties. He’s an A-cup.
–M15 bus
Girl #1: Yeah, it sucked. The first time I had sex was in the projects. It was just this random guy and he was like “wanna go to my house?” So I did, and we had sex. But then I didn't know that when you had sex for the first time you bleed a lot, right? So like I was bleeding everywhere. And I didn't notice. And all these random people were like “ew!”. And I was sitting on Brandon's couch, and he was like “what's that?” And I'm like “Uh, your sister's crayon.” So then they were all sitting on it, and fucking around on it…
Girl #2: Ewwwwwww!
Girl #1: Coz she left crayons on the couch. But then the next day his mom came! And like, boys don't get periods.
–104th & West End
Black girl: Would you look at that white cracka?
Lighter-skinned black girl: Bitch, you could be just as white as I am because you don't even know who your daddy is.
–Times Square
Brunette: I think that's why I don't have any girlfriends. It's just… I'm so tired of apologizing for being in med school and being so smart. And I think people really resent me. But I've been talking with my mom, and we've come to the realization that I have low self esteem.
Friend: Yeah, you talk about med school a lot.
–50th & 9th
Overheard by: Natalie
