Girl on cell: Hello?…Hi. Sorry about that…Yeah, I was getting bothered…a transvestite who wanted a cigarette…yeah, then she growled at me.
–4th Street & 2nd Avenue
Girl on cell: Hello?…Hi. Sorry about that…Yeah, I was getting bothered…a transvestite who wanted a cigarette…yeah, then she growled at me.
–4th Street & 2nd Avenue
Tourist to woman handing out fans promoting Hair: What is this?
Woman: It’s, you know, a fan. So you can blow yourself.
–Broadway & 46th
Overheard by: Dain
Chick: Do you want this seat?
Old man: I may be 100 years old, but I’m only going one stop!
–6 train
Guy #1: Okay…Wow…This one time in Madison I was so drunk…I was trying to get this sorority girl to come home with me and she said she would if I got rid of her ex-boyfriend (he was hanging out with us.) That’s all I remember from that night! I woke up the next morning, in bed, soaking wet, with a pulled groin muscle and scrapes all over my knees and elbows!
Guy #2: What the fuck?
Guy #1: Yeah! I had to ask around to find out what happened. Apparently, I sorta, uh, fell in the lake in Madison–I pulled my groin muscle there–then I pulled myself out and crawled home on hands and knees since I couldn’t walk.
Guy #2: What…the fuck…?
–B1 bus
Overheard by: Justin Fores
Drunk girl: Hey guys? I can’t believe today is already Saturday! That means tomorrow is Sunday! Whatever happened to yesterday? I guess that was Friday. But whatever happened to Friday night?
–6 train
Overheard by: Skye
Girl #1: My nipples are really sore and I don’t know why.
Girl #2: Did you ever think that they might hurt because of the pieces of metal you’ve stapled through them?
–110th St
Overheard by: Not stapled
Suit on cell: I expected pus, but it’s got little black specks in it.
–Pelham Bay Park, the Bronx
Overheard by: HelenA.Handbasket
Suit: When I said “fairy tale” I meant like Mother Goose–not Miss Dirty Martini!
–F train
Overheard by: braincurve
Suit #1 to suit #2: Oh sure, I’ve got a source. I can get you a kidney, no problem.
–Madison Square Park
Female suit on cell: I don’t think you’re hearing what I’m saying. I think you’re in a very nagging place right now.
–Duane & Broadway
Overheard by: Rich Mintz
Middle-Aged suit: Boobies boobies boobies. Boobies boobies boobies…
–41st & 8th
Suit on cell: So there’s gonna be total chaos on September 14th, but that’s all we have planned so far.
–Church St
Overheard by: Dara
Suit: My goal in life is to one day sue someone.
–A train
Overheard by: LSB
Female Hipster, singing: Boom boom boom, let’s go back to my room…
Male Hipster: I remember when that song came out–that was the dirtiest song imaginable!
— Lolita
Comedy show ticket hawker: Hey, come to a comedy show. It will be fun! C’mon!
Gary Gulman: Dude, I’m Gary Gulman!
–Outside IFC Center, 6th Ave
A trader is on his cell while on the toilet.
Trader: Is there a time-frame here?
Through the stall is heard the response.
Trader #2: If you see sudden movements, we’ll know it’s time.
–Trading floor bathroom, Park Avenue Plaza
Overheard by: Aaron H.
