Lost barhopper: Hey, do you guys know where MacDougal Street is?
Hipster: Oh, I’m sorry dude. I’m just looking at the size of the fucking dog over there.
–Bleecker & Jones
Overheard by: KNation
Lost barhopper: Hey, do you guys know where MacDougal Street is?
Hipster: Oh, I’m sorry dude. I’m just looking at the size of the fucking dog over there.
–Bleecker & Jones
Overheard by: KNation
Black girl #1: I wanna date a white boy. One that looks like a skater.
Black girl #2: No, not me. I want an intellectual, so I could act all ignorant around him and he’d still love me.
–158th & St Nicks
Overheard by: jay r.
(in line outside a bar)
Scantily clad chick #1: Ugh, I’m such a chubby Jew!
Scantily clad chick #2: No you’re not, you’re like, so pretty, and you don’t even wear makeup. I’m a chubby Jew!
–Rivington b/w Essex & Norfolk
Overheard by: Harrison
Frat guy #1: You know, I’m trying to remember when I last heard something that obvious.
Frat guy #2: Probably when that tank you picked up told you she owned sex toys.
Frat guy #1: Dude!
–Times Square
Tourist lady #1: Look Sherry, there’s the tree.
Tourist lady #2: Wow, great! I’m soooo excited. (sees it) That’s it? Looks bigger on TV!
Tourist lady #1: Everything looks bigger on TV. Oprah isn’t really that fat.
Passerby: This ain’t Rockefeller Center ladies, go back to Kansas.
–Bryant Park Tree, 6th Ave & 41st
Overheard by: tonyElev
Broadway man: I thought she acted well.
Broadway woman: She had great thighs, too.
–E 49th & 7th
Overheard by: I thought so too
Girl #1: Which one is he?
Girl #2: He looks like a ninja turtle.
Girl #1: Oh, okay.
Girl #2: Put a bandanna on that bitch and call him Raphael.
–Columbia
Overheard by: Mandy
White girl: I feel like saying: “Nigga, I don’t want your purses. You don’t know Louis Vuitton like I do. I fucked his ass last night.” Finna hit ’em with my nine inch.
Friend: Or you could just get shot…
White girl: Shit nigga, look at my ass with my North Face and pearls talkin nigga-trash…I’m bouta get shot nine times.
Friend: 50 style nigga.
–Canal St
Overheard by: oh white girls
Male professor #1: Your daughter is starting to look like you.
Male professor #2: That’s comforting.
–NYU
Overheard by: ann
Pragmatic bouncer: Well, there weren’t enough women there, so we threw in a tranny…
–Broadway Caribou Coffee
Overheard by: jenny Lui
Man, to friend: So, he says to me "Oh, I have a sex-change operation scheduled for that day, so I can’t make it."
–46th, b/w 8th & 9th
Overheard by: christine
30-something woman with nose ring, on cell: She’s like a transvestite… And an ugly bird. She’s like a transvestite and an emu. [pause] It’s a really ugly bird.
–7th Ave
Overheard by: James from Jersey
Guy: So then I was like, suck my twat!
–21st & 6th
20-something girl: I had him as both a man and a woman.
–17th St & 5th Ave
Overheard by: Tater
Dude: It’s been ages since I had testicles!
–Grand Sichuan, St. Mark’s Place
Overheard by: Rose Fox
