Goth chick: That guy missed his train.
Goth dude: Yeah.
Goth chick: Life sucks.
Goth dude: Word.
Goth chick: Wanna go to McDonalds?
–F train
Overheard by: Mike N
Goth chick: That guy missed his train.
Goth dude: Yeah.
Goth chick: Life sucks.
Goth dude: Word.
Goth chick: Wanna go to McDonalds?
–F train
Overheard by: Mike N
Conductor #1: Conductor, is the Clean Train Campaign in effect for this train?
Conductor #2: AAARRRGGGHHH!
–LIRR
Ghetto chick #1: I’m injured! I should go in the bus first.
Ghetto chick #2: You’re not injured.
Ghetto chick #1: Yes, I am, I bled, I bled on my new shoes!
–Metropolitan & Grand, Williamsburg
Overheard by: sardine in a can
Mom: No, this isn’t our stop.
Small boy: Where are we?
Mom: Christopher Street.
Small boy: Isn’t that where all the gays are?
–PATH train, Christopher St
Overheard by: kris
WASP: Do you know if they’re putting on an express train for the US Open?
Tourist: Um, no, but that’s where I’m going, too.
WASP: I know, that’s why I asked you.
Tourist: How did you know that’s where I’m going?
WASP: Because you’re white. Why else would you be going to Queens?
–7 train, Grand Central
Overheard by: Tennis Fan
Woman on cell: When you assume, you make an ass of yourself.
–4th Ave, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Mark
Hipster: Yo, what’s up with Filene’s Basement? That shit’s on the top floor!
–Union Square
Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer
Tourist: Is that the Enron building?
–Times Square
Overheard by: Robyn
Tourist to security guard: Are these all originals?
–Impressionist Gallery, the Met
Overheard by: j-diddy
Female tourist: I could never live in Central America because I’d miss the ocean.
–Restaurant bathroom, Little Italy
Overheard by: Olia
Girl looking at subway map: What about that thing, that star–“You are here”? They don’t have that?
–(Moving) uptown 1 train, 59th St
Overheard by: Jo
White hipster girl: Is black semen black?
–86th & Park
Mom: No, I’m going to tell you that it’s time to switch to the 1 train now.
Little girl: Nooo. I don’t want to switch to the 1 train. Nooo!
Mom: Oh, I know, switching to the 1 train is sooo dramatic.
Girl: It is dramatic! The 1 train is dramatic! All trains are dramatic!
–A train, 59th St
Overheard by: dallas
Ghetto girl on cell: How you ‘spect me to find you? This map has, like, so many places on it!
–Brooklyn Botanical Gardens
Overheard by: vix
Tourist: But we are in SoHo!
–16th & 6th
Overheard by: Yours Truly
Tourist to MTA agent: Which train do I need to take to get to South Ho?
–W 4th St subway station
Overheard by: Emily
Teenage tourist: Ohmigod…CBGB… BCBG…Whatever. We totally have to go!
–22rd & 5th
Overheard by: zr
Tourist lady, pointing to Liberty Island: There are people over there. Why are there people over there?!
–Staten Island Ferry
Overheard by: Not quite sure
Jappy tourist: Hey, we’re trying to get back to New York Island; do you know the best way to get to 48th and 8th Avenue?
–2nd St between A & B
Overheard by: Where Am I?
Yuppie tourist: Christina, Christina! Is this Ground Zero?
–5th Ave, outside Plaza Hotel
Overheard by: D
Conductor on loudspeaker: Stand clear of the closing doors! [long pause] Retard!
Loud girl: What did he say?
Conductor on loudspeaker: Yes, I called him a retard!
–PATH train, WTC station
Overheard by: didn’t hold the doors
Chick: Nothing says New York like a wire frog.
–Battery Park
Lady who has loudly complained to the waiter about the poor service: It’s people like that who give New York City a bad name.
–Lindy’s, 7th Ave
Overheard by: joemikehap
Amateur anthropologist: Of course I have a snarky attitude! I’m a New Yorker; it’s practically a requirement!
–F train
Overheard by: Braincurve
Tourist on cell: Yeah! I’m in New York! Yeah, it’s kinda like New Orleans, except bigger and you can’t drink in the streets.
–Grand Central
Man on bicycle: New York is about freedom! Suck a dick!
–Astor Place
Overheard by: Laura
Guy watching Texas Chainsaw Massacre trailer: See, that’s why I never leave New York. You never see crazy motherfuckers like that in New York…except for niggas on the train.
–Regal Cinemas, Court St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Clitoris Rex
Little girl: There’s a lot of people in this New York City!
–Times Square
