Teenage Lobotomy, the Aftermath

Queer: Who’s Joey Ramone?
Hipster girl: Oh my God, are you kidding me?
Queer: Uh, no. Who is he?
Hipster girl: He’s a singer! He was like, in some huge band in the ’80s!
Queer: What band?
Hipster girl: Um…
Queer: See? You don’t know who the hell he is either. You don’t even know what band he was in.
Hipster girl: It’s on the tip of my tongue…
Queer: Sure.
Hipster girl: Oh well, I can’t think of it. I think he’s dead now anyway. Who cares.

–Irving Plaza

Overheard by: i hope they were joking

Posted on March 26, 2015
Hipsters, Manhattan, Music, Pop Culture, Queers, Union Square and East Village

Nothing Makes Me Come Like Some Zyklon, Redux

Queer: Why do you like him? The guy behind us in the black shirt is so much hotter.
Hag: Ew…
Queer: You know I like those big, rough German types…if he put me in a camp, just imagine all the terrible things he would do to me.
Hag: …Would you stop staring at him?
Queer: I so want him to rape me.
Hag: Get over it, he’s not gay!
Queer: Whatever, if we were in prison he’d so be doing me.

–Yankee Stadium

Overheard by: Smack Jack

Guy: This is going to sound awful but Ryan Gosling was really hot in that movie where he played the Nazi with the shaved head.
Girl: Yeah, he was a hot Nazi in that movie. A hotzi, if you will.

–92nd Street Y

Overheard by: Kelly

Posted on February 22, 2015
Backdoor, Celebrities, Fag Hags, Nazis, Queers, Sex, The Bronx, Upper East Side, Yankee Stadium

Just One More Hit of Wednesday One-Liners

Conductor: Attention, ladies and gentlemen, there’s a slight delay due to reports of somebody smoking crack… and other stuff… on the back of the train.

–Church Ave

Overheard by: Katie & Jaime

Teen girl, to older woman: You ‘posed to eat. Ain’t ‘posed to smoke no rock!

–Classon & DeKalb

Queer in RA’s office: Now, when we got there they were selling hash brownies and weed muffins — we were in Amsterdam — and everyone else was trying some, so I figured I would, too. Then we went to the Anne Frank Museum, and of course that’s when they started kicking in…

–Fordham University, Lincoln Center

Overheard by: Wishes he heard the rest of the story

Man on cell: I know, but then they started smoking crack on stage.

–10th St & Stuyvesant

Guy on cell: I’m at Stuy High… Whaddya mean ya don’t know what that is?! Gotta know where the weed’s at!

–Near Stuyvesant High

Man to concerned woman: Don’t think of it as buying weed from a drug dealer. Think of it as supporting a cottage industry.

–Christopher & Bleecker

Overheard by: amused priest

Posted on February 20, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Brooklyn, Cocaine, Conductors, Girls, Gripes, History & Geography, Men, Old People, On Cell, Public Transportation, Queers, School, School and studying, Stuyvesant Town, The Village, Travel, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Weed, Women

Wednesday One-Liners Like Side Dishes

Guy: I like my dick with a little pussy on the side.

–3rd & Bowery

Possible paternity litigant: Paul Newman, another girl, and my mom were all having sex together right before I was born.

–6th St & 1st Ave

Posted on February 17, 2015
About Celebrities, Body Parts, Manhattan, Pop Culture, Queers, Sex, Sex & Relationships, Union Square and East Village

It’s Actually a Great Way to Put Off Orgasm…Unless You’re a Baldwin

Queer: Is it wrong to think of my brother while I’m getting fucked in the ass?
Girl: Oh my god, I thought I was the only freak that thought that!

–Times Square

Overheard by: eavesdropper

Posted on February 16, 2015
Backdoor, Family Ties, Girls, Incest, Kink, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, People, Places, Queers, Sex, Times Square, Topics

He Was Riding a Young Buck Last Night

Girl #1: Did you like it?
Girl #2: Yeah. It was amazing.
Girl #1: What about Eric?
Girl #2: He wants to become a gay cowboy now.

–Mary Ann’s Restaurant, 2nd Avenue & 5th Street

Overheard by: Overly Attentive Diner

Posted on February 8, 2015
Gays and Lesbians, Manhattan, People, Places, Queer guys, Queers, Restaurants & Cafes, Sexuality, Topics, Union Square and East Village, Venues

I’m Enjoying the Sodomy, Though

Gay #1: How is being gay going for you?
Gay #2: I don’t really jibe with the culture.
Gay #1: Like what?
Gay #2: The music.

–7A Cafe, East Village

Posted on February 5, 2015
Gays and Lesbians, Manhattan, Music, People, Places, Queer guys, Queers, Restaurants & Cafes, Sexuality, Topics, Union Square and East Village, Venues

She’ll Look Her Best Just Before She Disappears

Girl: I think my roommate is anorexic — she never eats, and she’s lost like 40 pounds this year.
Gay friend: Good for her!

–Dojo’s, East Village

Posted on January 31, 2015
Girls, Health and Hygiene, Queers

Mostly I Just Massage Her Feet

Queer #1: It is so difficult for me to explain… like, it really hurts to be treated that way, and sometimes I just need to stop and focus on the pain and learn why it bothers me so much.
Queer #2: Why don’t you talk to your therapist about it?
Queer #1: She won’t let me talk about that stuff.

–1 train

Overheard by: Brina Guild

Posted on January 24, 2015
Advice, On the Subway, People, Places, Psychology, Queer guys, Queers, Topics

Recipe: 9 Months for a Gay Baby, 8 Months for a Thug

Gay thug #1: I wasn’t hitting on you, I was still with my ex-boyfriend then.
Gay thug #2: Then? Nigga, I wasn’t even gay eight months ago.

–Wendy’s, W. 3rd Street

Overheard by: Lizzy Vegas

Posted on January 18, 2015
Dating, Junk Food & Fast Food, Queers, Relationships, The Village, Thugs

Queers