Guy: The thing about Cronenberg is that you have to appreciate him in
context to what he does…which is often unappreciable.
–Belmont Lounge, East 15th Street
Guy: The thing about Cronenberg is that you have to appreciate him in
context to what he does…which is often unappreciable.
–Belmont Lounge, East 15th Street
Queer: Hanging out with him is like doing charity work.
–Christopher & Bleecker
Overheard by: J. Ann
Ghetto girl to thug: You can’t touch this. Keep reminiscin’, mothafucka.
–106th & Columbus
Overheard by: Shmoop
Guy on cell: I’ll be real with you, man. I know more than you. I know a lot more than you.
–17th & 5th
Altruist: He’s really nice so I just fake it sometimes.
–Elevator, 120 Wall St
Overheard by: Aubrie
Teen girl: She did what? Oh my God, she is, like, so off my top 8.
–1 train
Queer: Well, I do like the person you want to be.
–Washington & Charles
Loud chick: Who knows how he lucked out into marrying her? I’m just always thinking, lady, you are hot, and yet you married an Ewok.
–Starbucks, 71st & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Susan Volchok
Fashion queer #1: I wish the new Apple store sold food.
Fashion queer #2: They should sell food — then it would be, like, one-stop-shopping on our lunch hour.
–Elevator, 5th & 59th
Overheard by: Lubes
Black queer: Bitch, you better shut up, because Shana does so much more than you.
Fag hag: Oh no, I'm not dissing Shana at all–I love that bitch.
Black queer: I know, right? Shana is amazing. I'm so glad she's not dead.
Fag hag: Me too.
Black queer: So glad she's not dead. God bless her sassy black ass.
–1 Train
Chubby guy: Hey! Show me your boobs! No, not the girl. I’m gay, I want to see your man boobs! Come on, show me your boobs!
–Outside Chipotle, 8th St.
Queer: I remember back when I was having orgies with, like, 15 or 20 people. And I was having a lot of fun!
–17th & 7th
Overheard by: Sofia
Girl: Did you hear about that 20 year old guy in Texas who started his own theater company?
Guy: No, I didn’t.
Girl: Really? Well you should, Mr. Texas!
Guy: Yeah, they stopped sending me the newsletter when they found out I was gay.
–Sardi’s, W. 44th Street
Queer: Who’s Joey Ramone?
Hipster girl: Oh my God, are you kidding me?
Queer: Uh, no. Who is he?
Hipster girl: He’s a singer! He was like, in some huge band in the ’80s!
Queer: What band?
Hipster girl: Um…
Queer: See? You don’t know who the hell he is either. You don’t even know what band he was in.
Hipster girl: It’s on the tip of my tongue…
Queer: Sure.
Hipster girl: Oh well, I can’t think of it. I think he’s dead now anyway. Who cares.
–Irving Plaza
Overheard by: i hope they were joking
Queer: Why do you like him? The guy behind us in the black shirt is so much hotter.
Hag: Ew…
Queer: You know I like those big, rough German types…if he put me in a camp, just imagine all the terrible things he would do to me.
Hag: …Would you stop staring at him?
Queer: I so want him to rape me.
Hag: Get over it, he’s not gay!
Queer: Whatever, if we were in prison he’d so be doing me.
–Yankee Stadium
Overheard by: Smack Jack
Guy: This is going to sound awful but Ryan Gosling was really hot in that movie where he played the Nazi with the shaved head.
Girl: Yeah, he was a hot Nazi in that movie. A hotzi, if you will.
–92nd Street Y
Overheard by: Kelly
Conductor: Attention, ladies and gentlemen, there’s a slight delay due to reports of somebody smoking crack… and other stuff… on the back of the train.
–Church Ave
Overheard by: Katie & Jaime
Teen girl, to older woman: You ‘posed to eat. Ain’t ‘posed to smoke no rock!
–Classon & DeKalb
Queer in RA’s office: Now, when we got there they were selling hash brownies and weed muffins — we were in Amsterdam — and everyone else was trying some, so I figured I would, too. Then we went to the Anne Frank Museum, and of course that’s when they started kicking in…
–Fordham University, Lincoln Center
Overheard by: Wishes he heard the rest of the story
Man on cell: I know, but then they started smoking crack on stage.
–10th St & Stuyvesant
Guy on cell: I’m at Stuy High… Whaddya mean ya don’t know what that is?! Gotta know where the weed’s at!
–Near Stuyvesant High
Man to concerned woman: Don’t think of it as buying weed from a drug dealer. Think of it as supporting a cottage industry.
–Christopher & Bleecker
Overheard by: amused priest
Guy: I like my dick with a little pussy on the side.
–3rd & Bowery
Possible paternity litigant: Paul Newman, another girl, and my mom were all having sex together right before I was born.
–6th St & 1st Ave
