Queer: We want girly drinks. Something fruity.
Bartwink: Okay? Did you have anything in mind?
Queer: Can you talk in a higher pitch when we’re talking about girly drinks?
–Barracuda, W. 22nd Street
Queer: We want girly drinks. Something fruity.
Bartwink: Okay? Did you have anything in mind?
Queer: Can you talk in a higher pitch when we’re talking about girly drinks?
–Barracuda, W. 22nd Street
Guy #1: You know Jason?
Guy #2: The gay one?
Guy #1: Yeah.
Guy #2: What about him?
Guy #1: I saw him kiss a girl.
Guy #2: Was it like a friend kiss?
Guy #1: No, there was tongue and everything.
Guy #2: So he’s not gay?
Guy #1: I don’t think so.
Guy #2: Fuck! Now I can’t brag that I have a gay friend anymore!
Guy #1: Don’t worry, you can still say he’s bi since we still have no proof that he is not interested in guys.
Guy #2: That’s a good idea. Interesting…you know what, that’s what I’ll do, cause there is just no way in hell that Jason is straight.
–Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Ting
Suburbanite guy: I was in this relationship for, like, eight months. We were in the same, like, mental place, y’know, like we were both so gay, like “Oh, I love you, I love you.”
Suburbanite chick: Wait, gay?
Suburbanite guy: Y’know, like, corny.
–Metro-North train
Overheard by: Pitr
Girl: So I met a cute boy this weekend.
Queer: Oh really?
Girl: Well, I met him a year ago, but this weekend I really met him.
Queer: You met a cute boy this weekend that you’ve known for a year?
Girl: Yeah…
Queer: Oh. So you fucked him for the first time!
–Chelsea Market, 9th Avenue
Overheard by: Aria Grillo
Guy: The thing about Cronenberg is that you have to appreciate him in
context to what he does…which is often unappreciable.
–Belmont Lounge, East 15th Street
Queer: Hanging out with him is like doing charity work.
–Christopher & Bleecker
Overheard by: J. Ann
Ghetto girl to thug: You can’t touch this. Keep reminiscin’, mothafucka.
–106th & Columbus
Overheard by: Shmoop
Guy on cell: I’ll be real with you, man. I know more than you. I know a lot more than you.
–17th & 5th
Altruist: He’s really nice so I just fake it sometimes.
–Elevator, 120 Wall St
Overheard by: Aubrie
Teen girl: She did what? Oh my God, she is, like, so off my top 8.
–1 train
Queer: Well, I do like the person you want to be.
–Washington & Charles
Loud chick: Who knows how he lucked out into marrying her? I’m just always thinking, lady, you are hot, and yet you married an Ewok.
–Starbucks, 71st & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Susan Volchok
Fashion queer #1: I wish the new Apple store sold food.
Fashion queer #2: They should sell food — then it would be, like, one-stop-shopping on our lunch hour.
–Elevator, 5th & 59th
Overheard by: Lubes
Black queer: Bitch, you better shut up, because Shana does so much more than you.
Fag hag: Oh no, I'm not dissing Shana at all–I love that bitch.
Black queer: I know, right? Shana is amazing. I'm so glad she's not dead.
Fag hag: Me too.
Black queer: So glad she's not dead. God bless her sassy black ass.
–1 Train
Chubby guy: Hey! Show me your boobs! No, not the girl. I’m gay, I want to see your man boobs! Come on, show me your boobs!
–Outside Chipotle, 8th St.
Queer: I remember back when I was having orgies with, like, 15 or 20 people. And I was having a lot of fun!
–17th & 7th
Overheard by: Sofia
Girl: Did you hear about that 20 year old guy in Texas who started his own theater company?
Guy: No, I didn’t.
Girl: Really? Well you should, Mr. Texas!
Guy: Yeah, they stopped sending me the newsletter when they found out I was gay.
–Sardi’s, W. 44th Street
