Cashier: Do you have a Duane Reade card?
Girl, fishing through purse: Yeah… Where are we, Duane Reade?
–Duane Reade
Overheard by: Guy next in line
Cashier: Do you have a Duane Reade card?
Girl, fishing through purse: Yeah… Where are we, Duane Reade?
–Duane Reade
Overheard by: Guy next in line
Man: You're how old?
Woman: 50.
Man: Wow! You age like a Chinaman!
Woman: What?
Man: Well, a Chinawoman… Umm, you age well
Woman: Thanks?
–Brooklyn
Tourist to boyfriend: Why are there so many humans here?
–Times Square
Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, this n train is very crowded. There is a w train one minute behind this one with air conditioning, legroom, and color tv.
–N Train
Overheard by: Thinking about switching
Guy: Y'all can't crowd up here! I don't want to name any names, but there's a baby back there that just got stepped on.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Samantha Chastain
Girl walking up stairs, suddenly turning around: Oh, nuh-uh! Get your forehead out of my ass!
–F Train
Exhausted woman with backpack: Why do I have to be so fat?
–42nd St
Gossip Girl clone to another: Oh my god! Can you even imagine being obese in this weather?
–Lafayette & Spring
Skinny gangster white boy: Yo, dude, are we hanging out with those fat chicks?
–96th St & Lexington
Overheard by: great standards
Chubby girl yelling on cell: Yeah, and her bridesmaid dress totally accentuates my back fat–as if I didn't have enough problems!
–47th & 3rd
Loud girl on cell: And he was like "we had sex three times, so I owe you an hour of going down on you." And I was like "okay."
–Mount Sinai School of Medicine
Overheard by: Horrified Med Student
Bro to another: Dude, she's practically paying for your train ride to have sex with you.
–W Train
College guys to another: Dude, have you fingered her yet?
–5th Ave
Attractive girl smoking and talking on the phone: Wait! Are you saying you want me to go to your hotel room… right now?
–15th St & Union Square West
Overheard by: Stephanie
Tween boy, interrupting conversation with German girl: Wait! Do you live near the autobahn?
German girl: What?
Tween boy: The autobahn. It's like the parkway!
–22nd St & Park Ave
Overheard by: Confabulation Nation
Father: Look at that! They list the number of calories that the food has. Ha! Who needs to know that, anyway?
Daughter, ten seconds later: Some people!
–Citifield Stadium
Overheard by: astoria mets fan
Girl: It's the one thing my father taught me: always be faster than your slowest friend.
Guy: Was your father a gazelle?
–12th St & Broadway
Old British man: I would take New York over any city.
American woman: Even England?
–87th & 2nd
