Tragically Hip Wednesday One-Liners

Hipster girl to friend: I told her it was the wrong kind of plaid. Not all flannels are equal.

–Bowery & Bleecker

Overheard by: but lumberjacks are supposed to be burly men!

Hipster to another: And I was like "Do you want some nail polish for that camel toe?"

–2nd Ave

Overheard by: Shan

Hipster guy singing to self in country twang: Whennnn am I gonna get me sommmme Ugg boooooots?

–4th Ave & 13th St

Hipster guy in eyeliner and mascara: I was being facetious… I would not wear leggings.

–Jamba Juice, 13th St & University

Overheard by: helenathegreat

Hipster girl screaming on cell: I want you to want me to want to touch you!

–Columbus Circle

Posted on July 7, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Animals & Nature, Bars & Clubs, Body Parts, Clothing, Compare/Contrast, Friends, Hipsters, Offers and requests, On Cell, One-liners, Questions, Sex, Shoes, Singing, Street, Stupidity, The Village, Union Square and East Village, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

Wednesday One-Liners Are Confirmed Bachelors

Gay student in freight elevator to other students: This reminds me of every romantic encounter I've ever had.

–SVA George Washington Dorms

Overheard by: Nicole

Flamboyant gay man to another: Have you taken a trip down to his passion peninsula?

–Gay Club, Williamsburg, Brooklyn

Gay guy to girl on his arm, kindly: That was a waste of your breath and my time.

–Broadway & E 7th

Overheard by: Jon A.

Flamboyant, queened-out Lady Gaga-style gay: Diva, you have to promise me that when I die, you'll head straight up to my apartment and remove all my dildos and drugs so my mom won't find them.

–A Train

Gay man to another: He's a genealogist. Of course he's a bottom!

–6th Ave & 13th St

Posted on July 7, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Bars & Clubs, Comebacks, Death, Dildos and Vibrators, Drugs, Elevators, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Jobs & Careers, Nostalgia, On the Subway, One-liners, Parents, Penis, Queer guys, Questions, Relationships, Sex, Sexuality, Students, Stupidity, The Village, Time, Travel, Union Square and East Village, Wednesday One-Liners, Williamsburg

Wednesday All-Your-2,000-Parts Liners

Very upset girl to no one in particular: But nobody would ever fuck my eyelashes!

–Bard High School, Queens

Overheard by: Sunny

Boy to another: He said he had to go and get a colon autopsy!

–84th & 3rd

Overheard by: Laura

Woman to husband: And I swear, she only has half an eye!

–Times Square

Older dude in sweater vest: It was considered the Rolls Royce of organs.

–111th St & Amsterdam

Overheard by: Ladle

Middle aged man walking his dog at night: She had a shamrock on her face and a shamrock on her butt.

–West End & 77th St

Girl to another: Are you going to be upset if he has short arms?

–University Place

Posted on July 7, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Ass, Body Parts, Boys, Cars and Driving, Compare/Contrast, Couples, Fast Times at New York High, Girls, Handicaps, Health and Hygiene, Men, Old People, One-liners, Queens, Questions, Sex, Street, Stupidity, The Village, Times Square, Upper East Side, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wednesday One-Liners

Ohhh, Exotic…

Girl #1: So what's your background? What nationalities are you?
Girl #2: Oh, I'm just American. I'm Jewish, though.

–Chelsea Market

Posted on July 5, 2010
Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Girls, Judaism, Questions, Race

…Unlike Your Make-Up.

Older woman: What do you think of my hair?
Woman: It looks great!
Older woman: I hate it, I'm having a bad hair day.
Woman: It looks fine, mom.

–Central Park

Posted on July 3, 2010
Central Park, Gripes, Hair, Moms, Old People, Physical appearance, Questions, Women

Besides, My Furniture's All Wicker

Gay guy to girlfriend: I refuse to pay for movers. I need you to help me with my furniture.
Girlfriend: Are you serious? Why don't you just get movers?
Gay guy: Do you know expensive they are? Why would I pay someone to move my stuff when we can just do it ourselves?
Girlfriend: Honestly, you're the cheapest person I know.
Gay guy: I'm the cheapest person you know? Hello, you've met my mother!

–Park Ave & 25th St

Overheard by: Investment Banker

Posted on July 2, 2010
Compare/Contrast, Girlfriends, Home, Sweet Home, Money & Class, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Offers and requests, Parents, Queer guys, Questions

Fun Game: Drink Every Time They Say “Fuck”.

Suit on train to giant loud Hawaiian guy on cell: Hey, would you keep it down?
Loud Hawaiian giant: Fuck you, you're prejudiced! I wasn't loud.
Suit: You woke me up! And what's this prejudiced thing, are you Jewish?
Hawaiian giant: Fuck you ! I ain't goin' to jail! Fuck jail!

–NJT Train into Penn Station

Posted on June 29, 2010
Cell Phone, Insults, Judaism, On Cell, Passengers, Penn Station, Prison, Questions, Suits, Trains Not Subway

Jesus: And It Wasn't the Hospital!

Guy: So, he was in the hospital for three weeks.
Girl: Wow. Wait–you mean three days, don't you?
Guy: Whatever.

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: Hospitals Suck

Posted on June 28, 2010
Girls, Guys, Health and Hygiene, Parks, Questions, Time, Washington Square Park

Ur Fir3d

Band dude #1: So… How do we break it to him?
Band dude #2: Buy him an iPhone?

–Broadway & Leonard

Overheard by: P. Mills

Posted on June 26, 2010
Cell Phone, Guys, Questions, Shopping, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport

Next Guy in Line: “Laid!“

Old man: Wait–what you think you doing? This here's the line!
Lady in nurse scrubs: I just want to get a passport application.
Old man: Well, I just want to get a box. Everybody in this line just wants to get something.
(turns to next person in line)
Old man: What you want to get?
Next person in line: Some stamps.
Following person in line: A money order.
Old man: See, honey–they all just want to get something!

–Post Office, Bed-Stuy

Overheard by: Tigertail

Posted on June 26, 2010
Brooklyn, Money & Class, Nurses, Old People, Post Office, Questions, Strangers, Wishes & desires

Questions