Female conductor: Do we have a line-up, partner?
Male conductor: Yabba dabba dooooooo!
–Manhattan Bound E Train
Overheard by: I Am McLoVey
Female conductor: Do we have a line-up, partner?
Male conductor: Yabba dabba dooooooo!
–Manhattan Bound E Train
Overheard by: I Am McLoVey
Sassy gay guy: Have you seen how ghetto the Upper East Side has gotten?
Girl in yoga clothes: Um.
Sassy gay guy: And everyone is a bitch. A freakin’ nun pushed me out of her way one time.
Girl in yoga clothes: Ha! Really?!
Sassy gay guy: Yes mam! [Snaps his fingers.] So I pushed her all the way down, girl. Whatever. I don’t care. I’m not Catholic!
–50th & Broadway
Dude: Oh hey: Love Actually. Have you ever seen this movie?
Chick: No. [Pauses and looks at the movie he is holding.] Oh, yes. Yes, I have.
Dude: You know, you always answer “no” first. No matter what I ask, you always answer “no” and then change your answer to “yes” when you actually realize what I said. You can actually think about the question before you answer, you know. The outcome would be the same.
–Barnes & Noble
Chubby Asian #1: I’m making a headcheese.
Chubby Asian #2: What’s that?
Chubby Asian #1: Like a meat, with parts of other meats.
Chubby Asian #2: …So it’s not a cheese?
Chubby Asian #1: No.
Chubby Asian #2: Wow, gross.
–L Train
Girl #1: Were you wearing any underpants?
Girl #2: Well yes, I was wearing underpants!
–Javits Center, New York International Gift Fair
Overheard by: Amy
DOB lady #1: You ever see that stupid show, Family Guy?
DOB lady #2, with conviction: No. I don’t get involved in that mess. It’s a place you won’t come out.
–Brooklyn Dept. of Buildings
Overheard by: Choheat
Girl #1: Which one is he?
Girl #2: He looks like a ninja turtle.
Girl #1: Oh, okay.
Girl #2: Put a bandanna on that bitch and call him Raphael.
–Columbia
Overheard by: Mandy
Little kid: Mommy, what is that smell?
Mom: Yes, dear. There are all kinds of smells in NYC! Is the smell bad!?
Little kid: Yes!
–51st St & 5th Ave
Overheard by: Mena Mansour
Girl #1: Yeah!. I get 80 mother fucking % off!
Girl #2: Doesn’t that just make you wet?
Girl #1: No. I’m pretty sure it makes me gush.
–27 & 7
Overheard by: sf
Headline by: kerm
Runners-Up:
· “And I Know When Someone Rips Me Off Because I Get A Yeast Infection” – Dan
· “And That Is What We Call a Jew-gasm!” – Andi
· “Coupon Booklets Are Essentially Free Porn” – Matt
· “Cuidado – Piso Jugoso” – Grantankerous
· “Sam Walton Can Still Get the Girls.” – wal-mart women calendar girl
· “Sounds Like You Got 100% Off, To Me” – T Bag
Male passerby, to guy wrapped in blue cellophane: Dude, what are you doing?
Female passerby: Why are you wearing blue cellophane?
Guy wrapped in blue cellophane: It’s not blue cellophane!
–Wagner College
