Out-of-town girl: Is this a musical?
Parents: No… (mutters something unintelligible)
Out-of-town girl, flipping through Playbill: There's not even one song…
–Studio 54 Theater, Waiting for Waiting for Godot to Start
Overheard by: Jil
Out-of-town girl: Is this a musical?
Parents: No… (mutters something unintelligible)
Out-of-town girl, flipping through Playbill: There's not even one song…
–Studio 54 Theater, Waiting for Waiting for Godot to Start
Overheard by: Jil
Box office employee: Would you like to add a ticket for the 3D movie?
20-something girl: Is it for the movie and the exhibit in 3D?
Box office employee: No, just the movie is in 3D.
–King Tut Exhibit
Worker #1: Who would play you? Chris Martin of Coldplay!
Worker #2: Chris Martin? He's not even an actor!
–Papa Lima, Brooklyn
Large black man on cell phone: They did the deal with the diamonds, then the other guy got greedy and shot up the place.
–Union Ave
Overheard by: Seth Callaway
Teen, looking around: Where are we? Are we purchasing illegal arms?
–Turkish Restaurant, Montague St.
Overheard by: Mike N
Blonde chick in pink coat, perkily: … There was no exit wound, and no bullet.
–L train
Overheard by: Ladle
Girl talking to co-worker: I live near Wall Street and there are like army men down there with machine guns and it’s scary! How do I know they don’t have Tourette’s and won’t just start shooting their guns all over the place?!
–41st & 3rd
Older suit, calmly, to his two female coworkers: I’d like to put a gun to his head and say "Nickie do the right thing or I will blow your fucking head off."
[His companions nod in understanding.]
–Starbucks
Calm Jewish fraternity guy on cell: So, I’m being deported and drafted into the Israeli army… It’s okay, I’ll name my gun after you!
–NYU Waverly Building
Polite diner: So would you?
Girlfriend: Would I what?
Polite diner: Lick your own vagina if you could.
Girlfriend: Absolutely not.
Polite diner: Well I would, it's delicious.
–Restaurant, 11th & 2nd
Boricua chick #1: So does your new boyfriend go to school?
Boricua chick #2: Yeah, he goes to some fancy-ass school in Manhattan… BMCC or somethin' like that.
–Queens Blvd
Conductor: The next stop is…155th Street.
–Uptown D train, 170th St
Overheard by: Jess McGins
Conductor, over radio: Hey, Steve, do we have to fill out an unusual occurrence report for being on time?
–Amtrak train out of Penn Station
Overheard by: Mike
Conductor: This is a downtown 4 train making local stops. I repeat, this…Stop looking at me like that, nigga, or I’ll kill yo’ ass…This is a downtown 4 train making local stops…
–Downtown 4 train
Conductor, over loudspeaker: Come on! Step on the train. Don’t just look at the doors. Walk on!
–N train
Overheard by: Lila
Conducter: This is the back! This is the back of the train! The back, as in not the front!
–NJ Transit train, Penn Station
Overheard by: stupid tourist
Conductor: This is South Orange. South Orange. South Orange. [sound of a group of people cheering is heard over the speaker] Hallelujah! Hallelujah! This is South Orange!
–NJ Transit train from Penn Station to Dover
Conductor: We’re being held up by a C train in front of us. If you’re nervous or scared, we’ll be moving to our destination in a moment. No worries!
–Uptown A train
Overheard by: wasn’t too worried
Teenage boy #1: So, would you say she's a ho?
Teenage boy #2: No, I wouldn't say she's a ho, she just likes to fuck a lot.
–R Train
Guy #1: So how was your weekend? Did you go on the trip?
Guy #2: It was insane man, a real pagan festival.
Guy #1: Really?
Guy #2: Yeah, naked girls worshiping a giant tree. Totally crazy.
Guy #1: Did you make a love connection?
Guy #2: I actually made a few love connections, if you know what I mean…
–Men's Room, Hiro Ballroom
Overheard by: Yeah, we know what you mean…
Girl looking at garbage and dirt spilled on the sidewalk: Gross. You think it’s supposed to be art?
–Broadway & Houston
Literature professor: So anything that anybody ever painted was a Guido?
–NYU Silver Center
Plausibly mad septuagenarian clerk: When I was 16 Stravinsky bought my first painting. It was written up in the paper. A couple of days later, I was kidnapped.
–Barnes & Noble, Lincoln Center
Overheard by: Seth
Father to four-year-old son: Looking at art makes your legs tired.
–Metropolitan Museum Lobby
Philistine: I don’t like art in which you have to understand the motivation behind it.
–Outside the Guggenheim
Overheard by: Devoted Puppy
Professor-type man to group of teens looking at Greek sculptures: And if the sculpture’s back is up against the wall and you want to see it from behind, just get up against a wall and look at its ass as much as you can… yeah! It’s not dirty or wrong… Just look at its ass!
–Metropolitan Museum of Art
