Sure, Lisa, Some Magical Wednesday One-Liner….

Dude with chick to group of smokers outside bar: We are going to eat pork chops and fuck.

–Bleecker and Crosby

Gay male on cell: …Do you really think I would try his sausage balls?

–53rd St & 8th Ave

Budget Vin Diesel: I love bacon. If I could, I would put bacon in my cereal.

–Sunburnt Cow, Avenue C

Overheard by: LeahPia77

Hispanic deli worker: Es muy barato, como la carne de gato.

–10th & Broadway

Overheard by: Anna Pilar

Black man, to Jewish friend: You’re not Jewish. You had bacon at your baby’s naming ceremony. Thickest, juiciest most delicious bacon I ever ate in my life. You named your kid Samuel and you had bacon. Delicious, delicious bacon.

–A Train

Man on cell phone: The sausages! I mean, I don’t feel bad for the hot dogs. But, the sausages?!

–41st and 7th

Overheard by: Justin

Posted on October 18, 2018
9 to 5-ers, All Wednesday One-Liners, Animals & Nature, Balls, Black People, Boyfriends, Compare/Contrast, Compliments, Guys, Judaism, Junk Food & Fast Food, Languages, Latinos, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, On the Subway, Queer guys, Questions, Sex, The Village, Union Square and East Village, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

Ada Had an Identical Conversation With the Doctor About Her Husband's Viagra Prescription

Older woman: Excuse me, have you found a set of keys in here?
Teller: No, ma'am.
Older woman: They're not mine, they're a friend's.
Teller: We haven't found any.
Older woman: If I lost my keys, I would be upset, and would want the the person who found them to give them back.
Teller: We haven't found your keys.
Older woman: If they were my keys I would be very upset right now.

–Bank, Astoria

Overheard by: Natalie

Posted on October 17, 2018
Astoria, Bank, Clerks, Old People, Questions, Stupidity, Wishes & desires

Some Married Guys Like That in a Girl.

Hot girl: I feel really really bad.
Sarcastic gay friend: Your conscience about sleeping with married guys catching up to you?
Hot girl: No, it's that stupid Mexican food you made me eat. I wanna puke.

–6 Train

Overheard by: In Shock

Posted on October 15, 2018
Ethnic Food, Friends, Girls, Infidelity, On the Subway, Psychology, Queer guys, Questions, Sex, Vomit

I’m Sorry, Sir — the FBI Took All Our Good Garbage Yesterday

Woman from first-floor window of brownstone: Hi… Can I help you?
Hobo going through her trash: Uh… Is this house for sale?

–12th & 2nd

Overheard by: lolo

Posted on October 12, 2018
Business and Commerce, Hobos, Home, Sweet Home, Homeless, Park Slope, Questions, The Village, Women

They'd Rule the World— Oh, Wait

Teen boy #1: It's like a totally different part of the body.
Teen boy #2: Can you imagine if vaginas had brains?

–Bedford Avenue, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Judgmental Dog Walker

Posted on October 10, 2018
Body Parts, Brooklyn, Gender issues, Questions, Stupidity, Teens, Vagina

For Emily, Wherever This Quote May Find Her

Guy on cell talking loudly: Where the fuck are you, Emily? (pause) Are you shopping? Don't lie to me, Emily! I will come over there and fucking beat the dogshit out of you. (pause) I don't care if I go to jail, it will be worth it to slap your lying ass around. (pause) You don't buy me shit, Emily. Do you buy me my underwear? No! Do you buy me socks? No! I do. What about all those purses and shoes you have? Me!
Random Dominican teenage girl: Damn, Emily really don't buy him nothing.

–Lucky Star Bus

Overheard by: chinatown bus traveler

Posted on October 7, 2018
Bus, Clothing, Dominicans, Fighting and ass kicking, Guys, Insults, Lies, On Cell, On the Bus, Prison, Questions, Shoes, Shopping, Teens, Threats

Do You Want to Start Learning Things? Do You?!

Little boy, passing gym: Oooh, they’re doing exercises in an exercises store!
Little girl: Is that their job?
Mother: I told you to stop asking so many damn questions!

–B51 bus, Brooklyn

Posted on October 3, 2018
Assholes, Boys, Girls, Gripes, Kids, Moms, On the Bus, Questions

Josh Wins Every Conversation and Has No Friends

Hipster artsy girl: So, did you do that, like, big art show?
Hipster artsy boy: Which one?
Hipster artsy girl: Um, I don't know.
Hipster artsy boy: Then yes.

–W 23rd & 10th

Posted on September 16, 2018
Arts & Letters, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Hipsters, Questions, Talking/Convos

Does My Outfit Look Like I Got Dressed Sober?

Hobo to young woman holding coffee cup: How can you be happy? There's no vodka in that cup!
Young woman: How do you know?

–Union Square

Overheard by: Ashley

Posted on September 15, 2018
Drinking & Drunk People, Happiness, Hobos, Questions, Union Square and East Village, Women

Wednesday One-Liners Need to Be Consoled

Tech guy: It would suck to be a cow, then you couldn't play Street Fighter.

–Marymount Manhattan College

Blond girl, regarding Egyptian artifacts: This is just like a video game!

–The Met

Overheard by: Rachael and Ben

Mindless dude playing PSP: Damn! Why is this bitch calling me? (answers cell) What do you want, you made me stop my game! (pause) My game as in "my video game," psh! (pause) Shit, if I had any game I wouldn't be with a bitch that looks like you, now what do you want?

–A Train

Overheard by: token white chick

Ghetto kids, as 95-year-old Chinese lady walks into moving traffic: Damn, she think she playing Frogger!

–Chinatown

Friend to friend: I wonder how Super Mario Bros will influence my decision?

–Houston St & Broadway

Posted on September 12, 2018
Age/Aging, All Wednesday One-Liners, Anger Management, Animals & Nature, Chinatown, College, Compare/Contrast, Friends, Girls, Gripes, Guys, Kids, Nerds, Nicknames & name calling, On the Subway, Physical appearance, Questions, Street, Stupidity, The Met, The Village, Video Games, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

Questions