Teacher: Does anyone know of the year 1732?
(class remains silent)
Teacher: I'll give you a hint: it's the year of someone's birthday.
Girl: Jesus!
–Simon Baruch Middle School
Overheard by: the art major
Teacher: Does anyone know of the year 1732?
(class remains silent)
Teacher: I'll give you a hint: it's the year of someone's birthday.
Girl: Jesus!
–Simon Baruch Middle School
Overheard by: the art major
New Columbia student #1: So what are you majoring in?
New Columbia student #2: Um, like, math I guess.
–Downtown 1 Train
Overheard by: DH
Professor: Does anyone know where the term “Passover” comes from?
Student: It's because the Jews put blood on their doors so Jesus would pass over their house and not kill the first-born son.
–Classroom, Fordham University
Overheard by: dundun
Professor in stuffy room: Someone open a window.
Student: We're on the fifth floor; they don't open.
Professor: I don't understand why they don't unlock them. No one is going to kill themselves. We're not NYU.
–Columbia University
Preppy guy: This may be the last thing I say with my penis attached, but…
–Park Slope
Overheard by: Hunter
Girl on cell: Well, I mean… his penis is really important here, if his is better I'll take him!
–26th St & Lexington Ave
Overheard by: your mom
Asian guy: Everyone else was on the floor. Everyone had a penis in their face.
–D Train
Overheard by: Jon A.
Girl on cell: All I'm saying is: don't jump on the first penis that comes along!
–Broadway
Boss, about weightlifting: My genitals were so inverted I used to crap my penis.
–5th Ave
Teacher: There are about six euphemisms for "penis" in the first scene!
–Junior High School
Overheard by: gabygrillz
Chick #1: I didn’t get into any of the colleges on the east coast I applied to. I’m so bummed.
Chick #2: But you got into Miami — that’s pretty cool.
Chick #1: But that’s not on the east coast. I’m going to have to get a passport and some crazy shots to go there.
–W 10th & Bleecker
Chick #1: I don't get it. I mean, why would you go to Cambridge to study science? Why not go to Oxford?
Chick #2: Either way, it's England, so it's mad awesome.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Jedusor
Strange guy: Excuse me, NYU students?
Guy #1: Yeah?
Strange guy: I’m your biggest rival.
Guy #1: Huh?
Strange guy: Columbia. Law school. I’m coming for you.
Guy #1: Okay…
Strange guy: Employer sees résumé from NYU, résumé from Columbia, always picks Columbia.
Guy #1: Okay. Have a nice day.
Strange guy: I’m coming for you, trust fund baby.
Guy #2: I’m sure that Columbia résumé makes up for not having a penis…
Guy #1: Trust fund baby?
Strange guy: Columbia. [Flicks them off and leaves.]
–Starbucks, Astor Pl & Lafayette
Overheard by: NYU Student
Guy: I could be an astronaut.
Girl: You have to be like really really smart to be an astronaut, you have to have like a doctoral in engineering and a doctoral in space…
–Javitz Center
Student: Yes, but I feel that Robert was a boy while Mr Pontellier was a man.
Professor: Hm, yes, but I'm going to argue that they both had penises and were therefore both men.
–Queens College
